Video; action?

[allyisun]

[Here's Allison, standing in front of her little café]

So, good news for once? The All You've Got Café is now officially open.

Hurray!

[She throws a small handful of confetti made of a shredded paper napkin into the air, looking less enthused than she sounds and kind of nervous.]

Come get your caffeine and whipcream fix.

[She'll be here, lounging in a chair behind the counter - standing is for people who aren't running their own café - underneath the display that reads "Don't be a dink if you want a drink".]

Comments

[allyisun]

[Allison has seen this hentai...]

Nope. Nooooope. Don't want to know.

[whatdidisay]

Yeah. That's Cetaganda for you.

[allyisun]

Remind me not to go there.

[Like, not that the occasion will ever come up. But hypothetically, if the option cam up? She'd rather not.]

[whatdidisay]

Hey, Allison. Don't go to Cetaganda. Any of their eight planets.

( HE THINKS HE'S BEING FUNNY. )

[allyisun]

Thanks Ivan, you're a real pal.

[Is her tone a little flat? Nawww.]

I'd say 'who the hell needs eight planets, but as least it's not 111,111 universes.

[whatdidisay]

Is that a thing? Good God.

( and he thought the cetagandans were bad. )

And they sure think they need eight of them. Tried to make Barrayar their ninth.

[allyisun]

It turns out that if you give someone godly powers, apparently they get super greedy.

[She blinks a little at that.]

Barrayar... That's your planet, right? [Has he mentioned that? She forgets.]

[whatdidisay]

Not surprised in the slightest. Our Emperor does alright with nearly unlimited power.

( see gregor? he loves you. please don't die and put him on the campstool. )

That's right. It's a three planet empire, but that's known as the Barrayaran Empire. If you want to speak of the people in it, then it's the Imperium.

[allyisun]

Me too, I hope... [That bit's mumbles under her breath.]

I'm probably going to forget most of that. [She's going to be honest and warn you about that, Ivan.]

[whatdidisay]

( he heard that )

We've had worse, which doesn't really do him any favors. I mean, he hasn't thrown out his privy council through a window or ordered the massacre of his relatives, so the bar is pretty low as is.

( "NOT AS BAD AS MAD EMPEROR YURI VORBARRA" probably the worst star for anyone to get. )

It's okay, it's only important if you're from my universe.

[allyisun]

[Don't worry, Ivan, she's just got the power of God in her forehead.]

Man, no offense, but your universe doesn't really sound like a place I'd want to visit.

[Creeper roses and emperors throwing people out windows and what. Not that where she popped over from was much better, but...]

[whatdidisay]

( that's not reassuring )

Well that's only a few planets -- the Nexus is huge, and there's something for everyone eventually. Mostly on Beta Colony.

[allyisun]

[It's okay, she's a good.]

Oh yeah? What's on Beta Colony?

[Does not sound convinced.]

[whatdidisay]

The Orb for starters.

( oh boy, allison, you wanna hear about legalized prostitution and LSPs? )

[allyisun]

The what?

[She really doesn't but he's probably going to tell her anyway.]

[whatdidisay]

The Orb of Unearthly Delights! I've never been, but I want to go, just once, y'know?

( i'm so sorry allison )

[allyisun]

Um. [Having sudden flashbacks to the Gilded Cage here.]

I'm not sure I want to ask more...

[whatdidisay]

What? It's perfectly fine -- you just take a few tests and they try to customize your experience. It sounds amazing.

( sorry allison. )

[allyisun]

Uuuummm...

[Don't ask, Allison, don't ask...]

...what... Sort of custom experience are we talking about here...

[Dammit.]

[whatdidisay]

A sexual one, what else?

[allyisun]

I was worried you'd say that.

Why.

[Why would you talk to her about this.]

[whatdidisay]

Why not? A whole building full of a customized sexual experience for any age.

( HE WANTS TO GO SO BADLY, ALLISON. SO BADLY.

he will never go in his entire life. )

[allyisun]

Because... Ugh.

[Why is she talking about this.]

What about the people that have to provide it?

[whatdidisay]

The LSPs? They've got degrees in that sort of thing, they have to, and they're all perfectly happy to help you and a partner or you all by yourself.

( he will, eventually, consider running away to beta colony to become a male prostitute. because ivan vorpatril. )

[allyisun]

[Allison purses her lips looking something between surprised and suspicious.]

Like, college degrees? Respectable ones? And they're all, like, safe and consenting for real?