Video; action?

[allyisun]

[Here's Allison, standing in front of her little café]

So, good news for once? The All You've Got Café is now officially open.

Hurray!

[She throws a small handful of confetti made of a shredded paper napkin into the air, looking less enthused than she sounds and kind of nervous.]

Come get your caffeine and whipcream fix.

[She'll be here, lounging in a chair behind the counter - standing is for people who aren't running their own café - underneath the display that reads "Don't be a dink if you want a drink".]

Comments

[allyisun]

Remind me not to go there.

[Like, not that the occasion will ever come up. But hypothetically, if the option cam up? She'd rather not.]

[whatdidisay]

Hey, Allison. Don't go to Cetaganda. Any of their eight planets.

( HE THINKS HE'S BEING FUNNY. )

[allyisun]

Thanks Ivan, you're a real pal.

[Is her tone a little flat? Nawww.]

I'd say 'who the hell needs eight planets, but as least it's not 111,111 universes.

[whatdidisay]

Is that a thing? Good God.

( and he thought the cetagandans were bad. )

And they sure think they need eight of them. Tried to make Barrayar their ninth.

[allyisun]

It turns out that if you give someone godly powers, apparently they get super greedy.

[She blinks a little at that.]

Barrayar... That's your planet, right? [Has he mentioned that? She forgets.]

[whatdidisay]

Not surprised in the slightest. Our Emperor does alright with nearly unlimited power.

( see gregor? he loves you. please don't die and put him on the campstool. )

That's right. It's a three planet empire, but that's known as the Barrayaran Empire. If you want to speak of the people in it, then it's the Imperium.

[allyisun]

Me too, I hope... [That bit's mumbles under her breath.]

I'm probably going to forget most of that. [She's going to be honest and warn you about that, Ivan.]

[whatdidisay]

( he heard that )

We've had worse, which doesn't really do him any favors. I mean, he hasn't thrown out his privy council through a window or ordered the massacre of his relatives, so the bar is pretty low as is.

( "NOT AS BAD AS MAD EMPEROR YURI VORBARRA" probably the worst star for anyone to get. )

It's okay, it's only important if you're from my universe.

[allyisun]

[Don't worry, Ivan, she's just got the power of God in her forehead.]

Man, no offense, but your universe doesn't really sound like a place I'd want to visit.

[Creeper roses and emperors throwing people out windows and what. Not that where she popped over from was much better, but...]

[whatdidisay]

( that's not reassuring )

Well that's only a few planets -- the Nexus is huge, and there's something for everyone eventually. Mostly on Beta Colony.

[allyisun]

[It's okay, she's a good.]

Oh yeah? What's on Beta Colony?

[Does not sound convinced.]

[whatdidisay]

The Orb for starters.

( oh boy, allison, you wanna hear about legalized prostitution and LSPs? )

[allyisun]

The what?

[She really doesn't but he's probably going to tell her anyway.]

[whatdidisay]

The Orb of Unearthly Delights! I've never been, but I want to go, just once, y'know?

( i'm so sorry allison )

[allyisun]

Um. [Having sudden flashbacks to the Gilded Cage here.]

I'm not sure I want to ask more...

[whatdidisay]

What? It's perfectly fine -- you just take a few tests and they try to customize your experience. It sounds amazing.

( sorry allison. )

[allyisun]

Uuuummm...

[Don't ask, Allison, don't ask...]

...what... Sort of custom experience are we talking about here...

[Dammit.]

[whatdidisay]

A sexual one, what else?

[allyisun]

I was worried you'd say that.

Why.

[Why would you talk to her about this.]

[whatdidisay]

Why not? A whole building full of a customized sexual experience for any age.

( HE WANTS TO GO SO BADLY, ALLISON. SO BADLY.

he will never go in his entire life. )

[allyisun]

Because... Ugh.

[Why is she talking about this.]

What about the people that have to provide it?

[whatdidisay]

The LSPs? They've got degrees in that sort of thing, they have to, and they're all perfectly happy to help you and a partner or you all by yourself.

( he will, eventually, consider running away to beta colony to become a male prostitute. because ivan vorpatril. )

[allyisun]

[Allison purses her lips looking something between surprised and suspicious.]

Like, college degrees? Respectable ones? And they're all, like, safe and consenting for real?

[whatdidisay]

Yeah. I don't think a Betan knows the meaning of sex that doesn't have explicit consent.

( ivan sighs, having had his taste of betan sexual freedom once when he was seventeen. she had been wearing a topless sarong and he'd ditched his military transport for a quick experience that he wasn't likely to get anywhere else. miles had pointed out that she was probably trolling for galactics and wanted to cross off barrayaran, but it had been worth it.

of course, it had also been worth it because the military transport had been sent off to certain death with the intent of killing off ivan and he missed it. but. details. )

[allyisun]

What, really? Huh...

[That was starting to sound... Not so bad. Losing your virginity to a certified professional sounded nicer than Zaid's awkward fumbling. Then again, she was probably the awkward one in that situation.]

...probably costs a fortune...