AUDIO / backdated a little

[notoriousdeathmonster]

Hey, so, if this thing really works like it's supposed to and it repeats whatever I say to it to everyone else... [SIGH.] I could kind of use some help. If anyone's by the feeding area? I need someone to go in there for me and get me something to eat, because whoever built this magic flying boat just HAD to cover EVERYTHING there in WOOD so I can't go in there without setting the whole thing on fire –

[She breaks off with a huff. She is really kind of embarrassed by having to ask for this – she does not like it at all. What's a good way to stop yourself feeling embarrassed? Oblique threats, probably. So:]

And, well, if nobody does go get me something, then I'll have to work out some other way to get food, and I'm pretty sure no one's going to like that.

Comments

[kickbancaboose]

[ what the fuck. on fire? either this lady's a pyromaniac, or she's got serious problems with woodwork. ]

Uh. Well. I like eating and I'm also pretty cool with not being on fire while I eat, so if you tell me what you want I can maybe swing by and grab something for you.

[niffin]

[ This sounds like a bigger problem than the immediate. She just...isn't going to ask why everything would catch fire, even if the question is burning (har) her up. It's probably just a matter of time before a sentient Bic lighter pops through the Ingress. ]

That sucks. Is there anywhere else in the ship you need to visit, and can't?

[scowls]

[ Fenris does not appreciate threats. ]

And I am quite certain that you will not enjoy the consequences of threatening me or mine.

[notoriousdeathmonster]

I don't care as long as it's meat – a decent amount of meat, not a tiny scavenger portion. Obviously it'd be best if I could hunt it for myself, but it doesn't look like that's happening any time soon.

[notoriousdeathmonster]

Not really. Like, I don't really want to go in the gardens or the library, so...

[notoriousdeathmonster]

[Honestly, Peril wanted to make a good impression here. She honestly did. She just. You know. Faced with something like this she can't not be a jerk.

Of course, it's not like she didn't start it...]

Oh, please. Isn't everything here some kind of tiny scavenger-human thing?

[scowls]

[ Very faint disgust shades Fenris' voice now. ]

I am no human.

[notoriousdeathmonster]

[Another dragon? No, she decides, she would definitely be able to tell...

She scoffs, channelling some of the condescending smugness she learned from Scarlet.]

Well, I'd be happy to eat something bigger than a human.

[scowls]

[ Smugness he's familiar with. That's ever magister he's ever met. Fenris sneers. ]

And I would be happy to rip your heart out if you tried.

[acerbic]

[ THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD BE EXCITING. Or dangerous. Because he's thinking she's probably some sort of rage demon. But, even if that's true that'll lighten up the day. ]

I'll bite. [ ha ha. ] What do you eat? [ There's only a beat of a pause before he continues, the interest barely restrained in his tone: ] And why would you set everything on fire? Angry? Boredom? Just like starting fires? Towering rage demon set to destroy everything in your path even though this place isn't so terrible?

[notoriousdeathmonster]

[She snorts. She's honestly kind of tempted to find this guy and start something – everything's been so much since she got here that she's itching for a fight.]

That'd be a great way to lose your hand.

[notoriousdeathmonster]

Meat. Any kind of meat. And... [She sighs, a little impatiently.] It's my scales, everything I touch burns whether I want it to or not.

[scowls]

[ Fenris laughs. Legitimately amused laughter. It takes him a moment to sober. ]

That isn't possible. But I thank you for the jest.

[notoriousdeathmonster]

[She sounds curious and irritated all at once.] Why not?

[acerbic]

[ Scales. Well. That certainly lends to something—but he's not getting excited just yet. ]

All right. Where are you? I'll plunder the kitchen for some meat.

[scowls]

[ Even though she's threatened people, she made him laugh. This one, he'll give her. ]

I'm solid only when I wish to be. If you tried to take my hand, I would become insubstantial.

[notoriousdeathmonster]

I'm just by the kitchen, I only found out I couldn't go in when I got there.

[acerbic]

All right. Sit tight, I'll be there shortly.

[ . . . ]

Anything I need to look for to know who you are?

i love this bc its like they're two assholes online trying to oneup each other's OCs' special powers

[notoriousdeathmonster]

Huh. [That's pretty cool, actually. Might even make for an interesting fight...

That thought trails off as she realises she's thinking of how much Scarlet would enjoy watching something like that, how it would make a worthy spectacle for her arena. Ugh. She sounds distinctly less interested after that.]

Well, it doesn't matter. You'd have to be solid to try to rip out my heart, and if you touched me, your claws would burn off.

[notoriousdeathmonster]

Well, apparently there aren't a lot of other dragons around here, so I'll probably be pretty easy to spot.

omg, I know! I love this!

[scowls]

[ He shouldn't be trying to pick a fight with this woman, but she's saying makes her sound like a rage demon. He isn't afraid of them. ]

You assume I fear such burns. Or that I'm slow enough to be burned.

[ He sounds only confident. In truth, he feels nothing but confidence. After what he's faced, little makes him afraid for his life. ]

I am not.

clasps my hand to my chest

[notoriousdeathmonster]

I think you're underestimating my fire.

this is the best cr

[scowls]

And I think you underestimate me, madame.

i cherish it already

[notoriousdeathmonster]

[Scarlet be damned, she wants to fight this guy.]

Maybe we should find out.

[acerbic]

[ !!!!

An actual dragon. One that talks! He doesn't even think Flemeth can talk while she's a dragon.

Be cool, Hawke. ]

Can't say I've seen too many around here, no.

[ And if this is going into action, he literally will be there fairly soon with a tray of various meats he "borrowed" from the kitchen. Hey, it's not like he knows how big she is or anything. Never hurts to give a little extra. ]