AUDIO / backdated a little

[notoriousdeathmonster]

Hey, so, if this thing really works like it's supposed to and it repeats whatever I say to it to everyone else... [SIGH.] I could kind of use some help. If anyone's by the feeding area? I need someone to go in there for me and get me something to eat, because whoever built this magic flying boat just HAD to cover EVERYTHING there in WOOD so I can't go in there without setting the whole thing on fire –

[She breaks off with a huff. She is really kind of embarrassed by having to ask for this – she does not like it at all. What's a good way to stop yourself feeling embarrassed? Oblique threats, probably. So:]

And, well, if nobody does go get me something, then I'll have to work out some other way to get food, and I'm pretty sure no one's going to like that.

Comments

[notoriousdeathmonster]

I'm a SkyWing. A dragon. Let me guess... you're a... "human", right?

[kickbancaboose]

Uh, yep. Well, kind of. I guess. It's a long story. [ a long pause. ] Look, I don't want to sound like a dick or anything, but how big are you?

[ is that a rude question to ask a dragon he literally does not know ]

[notoriousdeathmonster]

Uhm, bigger than you, probably. [She gives a little snort of laughter.] I don't know, humans usually come up to, like... my shoulder?

[kickbancaboose]

Oh, that's — uh, well, that's not as bad as I was thinking. [ oops, did he say that out loud? QUICK SUBJECT CHANGE GO. ] Do you normally not deal with a lot of humans where you're from?

[notoriousdeathmonster]

Uuuhhh, well, I've fought a lot of them – I mean, if you can really call it fighting, it's not like they really put up much of a fight... [Wait. Wait, that's probably not the right thing to say here? She's supposed to try not to be threatening? Okay.] Or, well, I mean, yeah, I don't exactly see them around day to day, you know? And last time I saw one I totally didn't even kill it.

[kickbancaboose]

[ oh, god. ]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That was very . . . generous of you? [ and then so casually: ] So you don't normally eat humans, right? 'Cause we're too bony? And totally don't taste like pork?

[notoriousdeathmonster]

[Extremely magnanimously] I'd totally rather have a cow.

[kickbancaboose]

I hear you. Cows are pretty fucking good.

Anyway. I guess I can scrounge something up for you, as long as you promise not to set me on fire.

[notoriousdeathmonster]

I'll do my best.

[kickbancaboose]

Where can I find you to drop this shit off?