Text, backdated to the 12th (about ... 5 minutes after Rinzler's post goes up..)

[capella_binary]

Hey there! I know things are really hectic right now and everyone's got a lot to do but I'd really like to borrow an ordinary flesh and blood human of reasonably durable constitution for a very short time.

Let's be straightforward: I want to hit you. I promise I won't try to kill you or anything like that, it's just once, and I'll get you something nice to make up for it afterward, I just really really need to hit someone who qualifies. Please don't be unusually fragile or something, I don't want to explain that to whoever might be in charge of organic repairs.

This won't take long I swear. And then we can go back to doing our much more important things!

Comments

1/2

[notglitching]

[.......]

2/2 text; encrypted

[notglitching]

[This was not the response he expected.

But it does, oddly, make sense.]

Share results.

ENCRYPTION WHEE

[capella_binary]

Sure thing!

text; encrypted

[capella_binary]

[It's delayed a while.]

I can hit a User! Caveat: with non-lethal intention. I don't know about KILLING one but I really don't think that'll be necessary any time soon. I'm not made for killing.

text; encrypted

[yorisearching]

Wait, why do you want that?

[Yori might not qualify, but she doesn't want to see Capella get into avoidable trouble.]

eventually encrypted

[capella_binary]

[it takes a minute for her to figure out this button.]

To see if I even can, before something comes up that qualifies as an emergency. Hopefully if I am upfront with my wishes, and no permanent harm is done, everything will be fine! If I can't, no harm no foul, if I CAN well I'll try to find them something nice they might wish to consume as an apology.

text; encrypted

[yorisearching]

[That makes more sense than Yori feared, but leaves her with no good argument against it.]

Sparring hasn't been a problem for me, but it's a good test if you find one to agree and you're polite.

Just don't hit them in the head, those are fragile and we can't afford to lose anyone useful right now.

Text

[notyourrookie]

Why?

And do we get to hit back?

Text

[capella_binary]

Because I'm not sure I'm capable of hitting human, and I'd like to find out before it becomes an emergency level 'I'm being attacked can I even fight back' sort of situation.

Sure you can! Fair's fair.

Re: Text

[notyourrookie]

Are we talking 'has never practised throwing a punch' not capable, or 'weird robot must protect organics' stuff?

text;

[a_perfect_end]

[New arrivals are not among those who would have received his warning text.

However, the request from this ID is so unusual that it takes priority.]

You wanna fight a humanoid, don't ask them. Get up to them, make a closed fist, and swing in front of you as hard as you can. Ideal target area on human beings: center mass.

If approaching from behind, aim above the hips. This is where their kidneys are located.

[Pause. The cursor flickers amber as he waits, and then:]

...Other human beings would know this stuff, by the way.

[How intriguing. And just who might you be?]

text;

[capella_binary]

I thought about doing that but it seemed like that'd make a whole lot of people really pissed off. And then it might suddenly become a lot more serious than I'm prepared for at the moment!

In my defense I know I'm perfectly capable of fighting my own kind. It's other kinds I'm a little unsure about, and I'd prefer a straight up human over vaguely human looking. I could probably tackle an Altean.

text;

[a_perfect_end]

...Maybe? It certainly teaches you who is capable of what under stress conditions, and is the quickest solution path.

...Are you really? [Leaving off the question of what are you, because even he can tell that's rude--and, to the point, he's too busy analyzing the logic of the request to care.]

So what makes the league of flesh and blood so interesting, then?

If you can hurt an Altean, you should do just fine. Base-humans are among the weakest lifeforms on the station.

Careful, though: they frequently augment with armor and weapons.

...Inquiry: sparring partner?

text; userid: flynn

[gridfather]

Is this really necessary?

txt

[capella_binary]

Vitally necessary. Potentially life savingly necessary.

txt

[gridfather]

Mind clarifying?

[callamities]

[...Damnit, Capella, he thought you were sane!]

Is this some kind of joke where you’re from?

[Because clearly she can’t be serious.]

[capella_binary]

I hate to say it but looking at the history of this station, everyone in it and the worlds everyone visits, it's really important to know what'll happen if I try.

[callamities]

Look, maybe this kind of experiment isn’t as suicidal here as it was on Earth, but you can’t just post, “I want to hit a human” where everyone can see it! What if the wrong kind of Creator takes notice?

video;

[nyx_it]

Why exactly do you want to hit someone?

STILL TEXT HAHAHAHA

[capella_binary]

Because I don't know if I can, and I really need to know before emergencies come up.

text;

[beautifulspaceraptor]

If any unexpected injuries should occur, bring your victim to the infirmary. There should be cold compresses and medi-gel available upon request there.

text

[capella_binary]

Hopefully I won't misjudge human durability quite that badly, he says he's a soldier and used to worse.

But thank you, if anything goes wrong I will.

text;

[sketchycharacter]

it's nice that you can be straightforward about your sadomasochistic needs but maybe keep it off the network
there are kids here

text

[capella_binary]

Why do kids matter in the context of hitting humans.