text | pancho vanilla

[beeped]

have you seen this baby godzilla?

[There's a photo of a small, mini-Compsognathus. It's clearly a young one, barely the size of a chick.]

now you have and he's the cutest fucking thing and i'm keeping him forever. i saved him from all that grey water, it was such a shitty situation.

anyway, the thing is that little teddie here isn't like littlefoot and doesn't give a shit about tree stars

so what's a fella to do? i tried the soylent crap and he got kinda bored with it. i figure he must like the taste of people directly and not processed or whatever. does anyone have a bug or mouse problem? teddie is down to be pimped out for live eats. or i at least think he might like that better.

also if anyone's got stuff i can use for a leash and collar let me know. if he's anything like me i'm going to need it

Comments

private

[beeped]

maybe but think of how macho it'd make me

[He has to take a moment for himself. Be still, heart.]

you think so?

only because the photo they see is of both of us


it's probably why i'm blind and look funny
maybe that's the reason why i'm alone in the future

private

[clussy]

(Oh well. See this had been fine through text and everything, but that last part makes Eddie's everything go on high alert.

Richie Tozier wasn't allowed to be self-deprecating around him. So Eddie's voice comes out instead of text.)

Excuse you. You are not funny looking. I wouldn't let a funny looking boy carry me around, you know. And you're only alone in that future because you don't have me. If you did, I'd be there with you while you got famous. I'd be front row at every show. Your biggest fan. So shut up.

That future's fucked up. It's not our reality.

private

[beeped]

[It was self-depreciating joke, but it had been just that. He's not surprised that Eddie switches to voice to tell him off. If anything, he likes it.]

Aw, Eds. I didn't really mean it. I know the future's fucked up, and it'd be different if it went how it was supposed to. [Which begs to question what that's supposed to be, but he knows it's the opposite of everything they saw.]

I'd rather you be backstage.

private

[clussy]

Uh-huh. (Eddie doesn't care if it was a joke. He didn't like those jokes.

He almost asks how it's supposed to be, but then there's that and he finds himself tipping his head.)

Why backstage?

private

[beeped]

You're my friend. I don't want you to be my fan.

[It's not really connecting that Eddie could be both.] If you were backstage we could hang out beforehand and stuff. And then we could go to after parties together. Or if it's like a comedy tour or something we can just roadtrip everywhere.

private

[clussy]

(Eddie was about to say he was both, but he's lost in the fantastic idea of being on a roadtrip with Richie.)

That would be really fun. We could see a lot more than lousy Maine. I guess we technically already have with the space travel and everything, but that's different. I've never really been to a party before.

private

[beeped]

Wouldn't it? We could see all sorts of places. Like the Grand Canyon. And like every other place in the world.

Me neither, but they could be fun? I dunno, I think you have to like them if you're famous.

private

[clussy]

I've always wanted to go to New York City.

Maybe. I don't know if you have to like them, but you probably have to tolerate them.

private

[beeped]

Then we'll go to the Big Apple and check out all the cool places.

I guess we'll both find out if we like them. If we don't we'll just sneak away and go do funner things.