text | pancho vanilla

[beeped]

have you seen this baby godzilla?

[There's a photo of a small, mini-Compsognathus. It's clearly a young one, barely the size of a chick.]

now you have and he's the cutest fucking thing and i'm keeping him forever. i saved him from all that grey water, it was such a shitty situation.

anyway, the thing is that little teddie here isn't like littlefoot and doesn't give a shit about tree stars

so what's a fella to do? i tried the soylent crap and he got kinda bored with it. i figure he must like the taste of people directly and not processed or whatever. does anyone have a bug or mouse problem? teddie is down to be pimped out for live eats. or i at least think he might like that better.

also if anyone's got stuff i can use for a leash and collar let me know. if he's anything like me i'm going to need it

Comments

[januaryember]

somehow i doubt that

so is marvin! how is that even fair?

[beeped]

how pessimistic of you

it's fair because i lived here first so by virtue of that teddie's got dibs

[januaryember]

only when it comes to you, richie

that's bullshit! Eddie's got a vegetarian dinosaur too. Are you gonna make his dino stay in his room?

[Beverly has the potential to actually get non-jokingly mad about this. Tread carefully.]

[beeped]

what the heck
why

teddie and eddie's dino are going to be best friends so it won't be a problem

[The logic here? He and Eddie are best friends. Surely it'll be the same for these animals.]

you're the one who's so worried so it's your responsibility to keep yours out of the way

[januaryember]

that's such bullshit!!

[Which is why Bev grabs the first hurlable object she can find and stalks to Richie's room. Talk shit, get hit Tozier]

[beeped]

it's logic, dipshit!

[When Bev enters his shared room with Eddie, Richie's laying on his back on the floor with a piece of one of the nutrition blocks secured between his teeth for Teddie to nibble at. When he sees her, he spits it the side, and the small compy immediately scurries after it.

He looks up at her, frowning as he notices the object in her hand.] What do you want?

[januaryember]

[Beverly's brow is heavily creased. when she sees Richie, she wastes no time in tossing the small piece of space junk at his head. It's not as hard as she did when she clocked Bowers, but her aim is true.]

I want you to stop being an asshole!

[beeped]

[Richie's screeching, rolling around the floor.] Man down! Mayday, mayday! Charlie's out of the bushes! Charlie got me!

[And then he stills, making a show of playing dead. He tries to push his stomach out as much as he can to look bloated, tongue sticking out of his mouth. He holds it all of half a minute before he's peering back up at her.]

Sorry, toots. It's part of my contractual obligation. [He's got them high speed on a train toward a fight, but this is more of him taking things too far than him actively gunning for it.]

[januaryember]

[Beverly Marsh is not amused. In fact, his dead and bloated act is really only pissing her off further.

She waits until he drops the act before she delivers a swift kick to his shins.]

You are such a jackass! [Richie never takes anything seriously. Which was part of his charm, but also bound to get him in trouble. As it was right now.]