text

[diamondslap]

Hello.
This is Aurelia Hammerlock, Baroness and one of your new Arbitration Officers.
I've only been here for several days, but it's plain to see that all your problems are entirely, completely and obnoxiously boring.

[speaking of obnoxious...]

If you have such a severe lack of common sense that you actually require my services, please ensure that it's for something interesting.
Anything else will be disregarded and most likely laughed at.

Comments

text;

[commontype]

What counts as interesting? Lovers spat? Two of the crew arguing over the last biscuit in the mess hall?

[Please, give him examples so he can tease.]

Re: text;

[diamondslap]

To list them off on a dime...
Revenge plots.
Murder mysteries.
Perhaps a problem that can by solved by me shooting one or both of the morons involved.
I'm keeping an open mind and not putting that last one under "all of them."
You're welcome.

text; 1/2

[commontype]

hmmmm. so.

you just missed your time on the murder mysteries, yeah? cause there was captain who'd died and nobody knew how. as for revenge plots, ain't heard anythin' yet. but im sure on a shit this size, somethin's bound to happen.

text; 2/2

[commontype]

*ship oops, my bad.

Re: text; 2/2

[diamondslap]

I find myself inclined to agree with you, darling.
A dead captain? Heavens, I'm sure that's not the sign of an incipient mutiny.
How fun that would be!