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[diamondslap]

Hello.
This is Aurelia Hammerlock, Baroness and one of your new Arbitration Officers.
I've only been here for several days, but it's plain to see that all your problems are entirely, completely and obnoxiously boring.

[speaking of obnoxious...]

If you have such a severe lack of common sense that you actually require my services, please ensure that it's for something interesting.
Anything else will be disregarded and most likely laughed at.

Comments

[skelepun]

i'm trying to figure out what's big, gray, and doesn't matter. help me out?

[diamondslap]

No.

1/2

[skelepun]

wait nevermind, i just remembered.

it's an irrelephant

2/2

[skelepun]

get it?

[diamondslap]

Look at that.
You did a pun.

[skelepun]

heh, i know. i'm pretty impressive.

comedy is just one of my many virtues, if you can believe it.

[diamondslap]

I cannot think of anything more useless.
Perhaps see if there's an awards distributor around.
Maybe you can get it engraved.

[skelepun]

"most funny" or "most useless"?
don't get me wrong, i'd wear both with pride.
then again, i'd hate to make people jealous. then you'll have even more problems that need your wisdom to solve.

[diamondslap]

I think that would be grounds for "being fired out the airlock to collectively raise the ship's IQ level."