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[whosthemonsternow]

> Alright so
> I know some of you have dinosaur babies
> and I have a mighty need for some dino teeth
> sharper the better
> DON'T PULL THEM OUT MY GOD just ones that fall out on their own
> if you hurt a dinosaur I'll find you and you'll very very much regret it
> Anyways. 
> Dono how much I need
> As much as possible? 
> Can trade physical labor
> like moving shit or something
> Don't really have many items right now but
> i'll work a half hour a tooth 
> also any shaving cream or conditioner 
> or even baby oil idfk
> hit me up

Comments

[brokeassgoing]

cant get your hands on nair? put em in a tub of it and just walk away? lotta work

[whosthemonsternow]

>that sounds bad for genital areas
>and if there was nair here I'd just slather that on them
>i can't even find a sharp knife
>thus dino teeth
>DO YOU HAVE NAIR OR DINO TEETH OR A SHARP KNIFE

[brokeassgoing]

i wouldnt be too worried about their balls if i were you
ive found some dino teeth yeah

[whosthemonsternow]

>it's more uti's and shit like that really
>okay what do you need for them?
>i can move furniture
>lift heavy stuff
>look amazing where you can see me

[brokeassgoing]

ARE THEIR BALLS THAT TANGLED WITH HAIR? JESUS FUCK no nonon i dont wanna think about this
im not in the furniture need rn but if things go sour can you do me a solid and get someone out for me?

[whosthemonsternow]

>THEIR BALL FUR CAN STAY
>IT'S THEIR FACE FUR THAT HAS TO GO
>MY MY GOOD FUCKING GOD
>WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THEIR BALLS
>listen, yeah, i can owe you a solid with getting someone out of? something? sure? or punching someone's face off their face...
>i just need teeth and conditioner
>this is where i should say 'please' but i think it's implied

[brokeassgoing]

YOURE THE ONE THAT DOESNT KNOW HOW TO MANSCAPE IN THE WILD OK DONT BLAME ME
id be grateful if you could watch over someone for me if things get dicey yeah
where are you at rn i can get the teeth and conditioner

[whosthemonsternow]

>i can to
>that's why i'm getting teeth to shave them
>wild manscaping
>nair isn't wild manscaping
>okay
>okay whatever forget that
>yeah sure i can baby sit someone for you
>i'm near the cafeteria

[brokeassgoing]

a tub of nair is practically feral shit ok
dont tell her i said that she'll be pissed
i can meet up with you in a few

[whosthemonsternow]

>oookay i won't tell her?
>wont it be obvious tho when i'm like. near her
>yeah yeah i'm waiting

[brokeassgoing]

hey you might have one of those faces thats like a good samaritan face
ok ok ok

Action

[whosthemonsternow]

[She just waits now, somewhat patiently- well, okay, she's tapping her foot and leaning against the wall. Patient enough.

As soon as she sees someone who looks similar to the icon she'd been talking to, she straightens up]

I dono, do I got a "good Samaritan" face?

[brokeassgoing]

[he hadn't been overly in a rush but he made sure not to be too late either

under one arm he carries a paper bag full of the promised items]

Hmmmm...

[takes a comical moment to 'examine' said face]

Yep, think so.

[whosthemonsternow]

[She rolls her eyes but does crack a small smile, mostly because she's always saying she has a good person's face, not just attractive but she's an absolute angel- and of course that's whats being confirmed now, right? Yes.]

You gotta be sure to tell my brother that, don't think he'd believe it from me.

C'mon, lemme see the goods.

[brokeassgoing]

Brothers ain't supposed to believe it-- they know your face and how much of a little shit you can be better than anyone.

[mouth quirked into a soft grin, he holds the bag out to her]

Makin' it feel like a drug deal.

[whosthemonsternow]

I've never been a shit in my life, okay. And- this is pretty much a fucking drug deal, when they wont let us even have razors, the next best thing is about as contraband as drugs.

[She insists, taking the bag and peering inside, fishing around to poke at the teeth and nodding in approval at the sting it leaves]

Alright, now, exactly what did I agree to? Full details.

[brokeassgoing]

[the look he gives her is pure that's-bullshit; he snorts]

Pretty sure you're a shit. But true, true, this is the worst drug deal ever.

[a sigh]

Girl named Nill. Blonde hair, this high, wings. Can't miss her. If shit goes bad, and I can't help her, she needs to get out.

[whosthemonsternow]

I'm a literal angel.

[She just nods, then listens a moment, fishing a pen out of her pocket and scribbling the info down just in case she forgets]

Literally coulda just said blonde with wings, not sure I'll see a ton of those around. I'll make sure she gets out if it comes to it- but what is she, like, your girlfriend or daughter or something?

[brokeassgoing]

And my farts are the beating of angel wings.

[puh-leaaaze]

Hell no, she's not-- she's a friend from home, that's all. Christ, she's just a kid.

[whosthemonsternow]

That's. Weird.

And hey! I included the option of sister in there, jeez. Also, didn't know she was a kid. So. That's on you. But yeah, I'll get the kid out, sure.

One question- does it have to be me personally? Or can it be someone I trust? Cause if shit's going down, I'm going on a rampage. But I have plenty of people I trust with my life. She'll get out without a scratch either way

[brokeassgoing]

That's all you had to say, jeez. [he rubs a hand over the back of his neck]

If you're this good, and they are too then...yeah. That'll be fine. Just don't get too fucked up yourself.

[whosthemonsternow]

Me? Get fucked up? I know you don't know who I am, really, but trust me. That won't happen. I'm unstoppable- so are my friends, my team. Don't worry about us or her.

[She gestures with the bag and gives a grin]

Thanks again.

[brokeassgoing]

I'm not that worried...just cautious, is all. I'll believe it more when I see it...but seeing it in a shitty situation's gonna suck? We're all boned.

[a nod]

No problem.

[whosthemonsternow]

Nah, not boned. Not in a bad way anyways- this is nothing, relax.

[She eyes him, cocking her head to the side]

Seriously, this isn't a big deal

[brokeassgoing]

Fake realities ain't new to you? Guess we're in good hands, then.