All This Shit is Weird: The Weirdening

[neverheardofhim]

You ever think that someone is writing our lives, and we're part of some comedy shitshow that the gods are playing out? If that's the case, then I'd like to have a talk with whoever's in charge.

Shadow demons? I can name at least five Thedosian books that played it better. Caught up on feelings and regrets toward people? There are better ways to damage a person. I can think of twenty bad memories that we didn't even touch on.

That's why, if you want good plot twists and thrilling concepts, you should subscribe to Tentacles and Shields publishing. This month we'll be producing a story about last month: The Shadow and its Paramore. Stay tuned for details.

Comments

[neverheardofhim]

Aw, Drake. Do you really think I'm that kind of man?

[neverheardofhim]

Real cute, giggles.

Leave the sass to Hawke though, won't you?

[neverheardofhim]

This is a legitimate business strategy, it's not weird.

[neverheardofhim]

If you wanted to make a better suggestion, you should've done it two months ago. I asked for feedback and everything.

[neverheardofhim]

Funny. You're asking about my gods, and Dr. Giggles is denouncing them.

Real interesting place, this is.

[neverheardofhim]

Someone has to keep everyone in good spirits. I find that laughter is the best way to do that.

You need someone to talk to. My place can be a bit crowded, but you're welcome to come over and rest your head.

[neverheardofhim]

I don't know about you, Sparkler, but where I come from, we're friends. Guess that's not the same on your plane of existence?

[liberaltus]

I've read all of your books cover to cover, that's practically love Varric.

[neverheardofhim]

I don't know what the whole truth is, only that somehow, some kid got caught up in demon summoning, or something like that. Nothing good ever comes from demon summoning, just so we're clear.

Anyway, between the damaged Ingress and the demons, we started getting shadows of ourselves popping up. They were unkillable, unless you either confessed to whatever feelings were driving the things mad, or if you gave up your memories of said thing.

It... got a little weird. A lot weird, really.

[neverheardofhim]

Here's something I learned in the guild: there's always someone that's willing to buy. You just gotta keep your ears to the ground.

[businessinfront]

I didn't know there was a deadline!

... And I didn't even see it!

[neverheardofhim]

And yet you mock me at every chance. You wound me, Pavus. You know how sensitive my constitution is.

[liberaltus]

Yes, you're quite the delicate flower. That aside, if I didn't like you I wouldn't bother mocking you, or your literature rather -- and you're not bad at returning the favor.

[sketchycharacter]

doesn't hurt to make sure. i could have artistic competition.

[prorenataa]

Certainly.

text -> audio

[toservelife]

[She can read perfectly well, but the holographic interface that taught to her to read didn't teach her to type.]

Sorry-- this is easier than writing. Ah, yeah, I'm not sure if weird covers all of that.

Where I'm from, a demon is...it's a giant machine. Or the corpse of one, from a thousand years ago. I get the feeling that's not what you're talking about.

And shadows of yourselves that had to be killed with feelings... [Beat, the sound of her taking a breath to say something, then giving up on that...then trying again.] Wait, you're not messing around with me, are you.

[neverheardofhim]

Didn't see it, or were too embarrassed to detail your fantasies?

[businessinfront]

I don't have fantasies.

[neverheardofhim]

[Though he made no comment about it, Varric didn't seem to mind the switch. Rather than sounding annoyed or put off, the dwarf sounded nothing more than vaguely amused.

His default tone, really.]

No, no. Not at all what I'm talking about. Weird to even think about demons like that if I'm honest. But uh... Guess the best way to describe them is spirits, or ghosts, only angry and evil.

[When the woman paused, so too did Varric. A grin coiled over his lips as realization appeared to dawn on her, one that he figured was obvious in his tone.]

I may be a habitual liar but here and now? I'm telling the Maker's honest truth. You're welcome to ask any of the veteran residents around here, if you don't believe me.

[neverheardofhim]

At least Nathan is at home, right? That has to be a small comfort, don't you think?

[neverheardofhim]

That's true, isn't it? But I figured I'd ask -- Neriel's got his panties in a twist more often than not over me. Wanted to be sure it wasn't the same with you.

Andraste's tits, though, look at me. Moping about like some lovelorn Chantry sister. You shouldn't have to see me like this, Dorian.

[neverheardofhim]

No better time than the present, if you ask me. And there's not much else to do here -- at least when shit isn't tearing itself apart.

Time to pick up an old hobby.

[tearsinajar]

Some. But it won't be the same. Everything will be different.

[neverheardofhim]

Right, and I'm not a dwarf.

[neverheardofhim]

You wouldn't know it, though.

[Andraste's chafed ass, she was right. This was a heavy subject.]