thisavrou | video.

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GUESS WHO'S NERVOUS

also second, "guess who" but more literally, because this message contains only the TAB signature of one lady hawke - peter knows better than to connect his own TAB to his spider-man stuff, okay.

third guess (the charm) who's totally playing it off by being a cool guy, having totally hit record on the TAB remotely, so he's already squared off inside the video feed. congratulations to a head-and-shoulders view of some person in tight red and blue, head-to-apparently-toe spandex. as though spandex has any other possible adjective but 'tight'.

still, the same adjective could be applied to the posture, or at least what's visible. it's at least a... loose kind of tight? or something??

anyway, there's the kind of wave you do when you're either about to start a school project, or your great aunt josephine is giving you a thumbs up from afar for whatever weird family reunion cousin sack race you're about to do. ]

Hey everyone!

This is - [ uhh ] - just me. Spider-Man. Just saying, like. I think some people might have had some stuff missing when they evac'd, or whenever they tried to move around, I guess. Or maybe not, I - it's not like I talked to everyone. Either way, like. If you need stuff - your own stuff, please - moved around, or you want someone to keep an eye out for something, or you just need stuff - I can help with that! Or like if you need help getting here to there specifically, or have to move something really heavy, or - now I'm rambling, sorry. If you want help in general. I can't promise everything, but I can promise I'll try. At least, as much as I can.

[ that's what being a superhero is all about anyway, right? he's been slacking since he got here. ]

...........like, not just right now, I mean. All the time. I can be helpful all the time. This was a weird time to do this, wasn't it?

[ the feed cuts off a handful of hurriedly-over-analyzed seconds later. ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

well honestly. your voice is high and squeaky enough. and hawke doesn't have tits to speak of and is into weird things so. who even knows. right. so what is it if not spandex?

Yeah... [ the guy isn't wrong, it's just. are you helping someone because you want something out of it or helping them genuinely to be helpful? ]

What if I carry a tip jar?

Does it really help? Because I've heard that and I don't think I've ever understood it because isn't talking to someone who's naked just, way weirder? It's - I mean, I don't know for sure, but it seems like it would just be super awkward and worse than if you just don't know them. There's that whole vulnerability thing, sure, but there's also the whole...[ incredibly vague hand gestures go here. ] "What do", thing...

[ oh no did he just call her old by mistake ]

It's not! Well, I mean, you look great! Just tired, maybe. You seem kind of tired.

[ well that just sounds like a terrible piece of advice, even though it sort of makes sense ]

Somewhere else?

[ that felt like it might have been sarcasm but peter's choosing to take tony at his word bc it makes him feel better, okay ]

tysm mr stark!!
i'll do my best okay
whatever you need

I'm being careful - that's not stupid!

My voice isn't squeaky!

Idk my first suit was sweatpants. I didn't make this one myself
I guess it might be spandex I just assumed it wasn't bc of who made it

No attack.
No [he goes back to insert a word] external theft.

Caution unnecessary.
Stupid.

uhhuh. it just didn't scream puberty. pretty generous seamstress you got there. though i have to question your both fashion sense. even if it's not latex.

Ofc it looks stupid if there's nothing happening that's why it's being CAREFUL
If smth was happening then it wouldn't be caution
It would be reaction
Totally different tion

Current event: theft.

Yours.

[Congratulations user something's happening.]

[ ....yeah well that's. nothing he can control. fifteen is a really annoying age to be, okay! ]

I wasn't screaming anything so that's fine I guess

Spandex
Wait is spandex latex?
It is, isn't it?
Also yeah they're great

What
Nobody stole anything from

[ oh wait. .......gdi he hit enter again instead of backspace! ]

I just borrowed it! I'm giving it back!!
I just needed it to make this post and then I'm returning it, okay?

Vocabulary error.

defensive much? and sweetie spandex isnt the same as latex but good try terrific im sure. handy to have benefactor like that

Is your name brick wall
what is it now

No.

"Borrowed": implies removal with permission.

[ don't call him out like that!! also you told him he was defensive so he's not going to comment on it at all bc that's not obvious either ]

Thanks?

Did you know 'spandex' is just an anagram of 'expands'?

And yeah idk how it really happened tbh
It just sort of did
Whether I was prepared for it or not

She
I borrowed it from the person I know who was least likely to care??

[ wait, shit ]

Know of*

[ Nailed It™ ]

*Stole

[While we're correcting things!]

No
BORROWED
Look okay I've been reading up on law stuff in the last [ uh ] several months and just taking something doesn't necessarily mean you stole it
It's concentric circles
I mean there has to also be intent to NOT return it
And I fully intend to!!
I've even already told the person I BORROWED it from!

Huh. [He considers it for a second.] That could work.

Enhanced human? I take it that means you have abilities beyond the normal scope of human capability. [color her interested. also:] I still do not understand. Where I am from, all are proud of who they are and what they can do.

No.

[Lbr, it wouldn't be the weirdest thing Liz has done-- sitting next to Spider-man while planning curriculum.]

Oh they do-- I couldn't go to any of them, though-- I was locked in a tower until I was twenty. So I just read until I understood.

...Isn't middle school somewhere around eleven or twelve years old? How is anyone thinking of college at that point in their lives?

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