☂ Lup ☂ (
chaoticluptral) wrote in
thisavrou2017-07-05 09:28 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
01 ☂ Voice; (backdated to sun's out, fun's out event)
[A woman's voice comes over the network. She sounds annoyed. Like she's been waiting and waiting for something and now that it's finally happened, she has to collect herself.]
Yes, hello? Is this the Customer Service line? I've been trying to call your shit for days now. I know that the sun is out and everything but that doesn't mean you can not answer the phone! If the sun goes out, who else am I gonna call? I've got to report this service outage to someone. The sun going out is also kinda unprofessional. I'm not exactly feeling confident in you guys here.
Anyway, my complaint is as follows. I need to get off this plane of existence like right fucking now. And I know that it's probably not your fault who you pick up and drop off here, it's just policy and blah blah blah but it's very important that I get back to the plane of existence I was on before. I want to return this kidnapping for a full refund.
I hate to show up and run without wrecking any shit as is my thing, but this is kind of getting in the way of what I'm trying to do. Which is literally ONE JOB. I had one fucking job and this makes it look like I can't do one job. So for the sake of my resume and the universe, send me back.
Also some asshole owes me 15 dollars and I need to collect. Priorities and all.
Yes, that's it. Thank you for your time. But next time if this complaint doesn't go through, I'm gonna ask for your goddamn manager!
((No TAZ spoilers really in the post but some might always appear in the comments, I will try to warn for anything in the subject head!))
Yes, hello? Is this the Customer Service line? I've been trying to call your shit for days now. I know that the sun is out and everything but that doesn't mean you can not answer the phone! If the sun goes out, who else am I gonna call? I've got to report this service outage to someone. The sun going out is also kinda unprofessional. I'm not exactly feeling confident in you guys here.
Anyway, my complaint is as follows. I need to get off this plane of existence like right fucking now. And I know that it's probably not your fault who you pick up and drop off here, it's just policy and blah blah blah but it's very important that I get back to the plane of existence I was on before. I want to return this kidnapping for a full refund.
I hate to show up and run without wrecking any shit as is my thing, but this is kind of getting in the way of what I'm trying to do. Which is literally ONE JOB. I had one fucking job and this makes it look like I can't do one job. So for the sake of my resume and the universe, send me back.
Also some asshole owes me 15 dollars and I need to collect. Priorities and all.
Yes, that's it. Thank you for your time. But next time if this complaint doesn't go through, I'm gonna ask for your goddamn manager!
((No TAZ spoilers really in the post but some might always appear in the comments, I will try to warn for anything in the subject head!))
voice;
Oh yeah? Well, turns out, I am the manager, and we don't give away the sun to just any old customers. So I want to speak to your manager. Put them on!
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[He sounds completely taken aback.]
What gave me away?
no subject
no subject
[The problem here, with this interaction, is logically right now Magnus would ask her name, demonstrating he doesn't know who she is. Unfortunately, Magnus is a very rude boy who never asks anyone's name.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
voice;
Something in this voice is really rattling Taako's cage, but he can't quite put his finger on it. He's barely even paying attention to what she's saying - did he eat something expired, is he experiencing gastrointestinal comeuppance? Is thinking too hard about stomach distress ruining a potentially emotional moment? Either way it's weird, and he hasn't actually heard a word she's said. Whoops.]
Uh, yeah, kemosabe, turns out - fun fact! - they don't give a crap. Seriously, I've tried, but it is a shitshow here. Start-ups, what can you do? Don't bother. Trust me on this one, they won't even give you coupons for staying on the line.
no subject
And you actually thought of calling the customer service line? ...I'm impressed at your meager showing of problem solving skills. Good job, bro. Savor this moment.
[SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE.]
no subject
Oh! A fan! Wowza, just from my voice too - now that's, uh, dedication. It's great, great to hear from the folks at home, you know? I'm glad I could be an inspiration. Listen, I just got new 5x7s, I'll send you one. Might make up for the whole Sun-being-out thing? Brighten your day? Tell you what, I'll spring for the 8x10. What's your name, I'll make out a dedication.
no subject
Bro. I'm sorry but this isn't one of your better jokes. A solid 3/10 at best.
Also no one ever wants an 8x10. 5x7 is the ideal pocket size.
no subject
[ It's probably not decisive yet. He's pretty good at straightfaced deception, but he does seem a little weirded out. ]
no subject
...What are you selling your pictures for anyway? No one is going to r͠҉̷̴͔͈͉̬̦͕̤̙̰̹̫̩̟e҉̧̧͔͙̩̙͔̪͎̞̬̞̬̠̳ͅm̕͜͠͏͖̠͖̲͙̻̮̠e̸̛̛̮̖̭̩̜̗̯̹̥̘̩͉̦͘͝m̶͍̺̰͙͈͕̱̩̲͕͎̪̮̀ͅb̛̻͎͖̠̳͚͎͢e̸͏̸̡̼̬͙̯̦̖r̡͖̟̹̲̣͢͟ ҉̧͕̯̬̜̘̺̞̪̫̝̲̹͍͇̱͚͖͠ư̫̦͎͇̥̮͇̕ͅs̡̫̞͉̖͍̠̲̲̯̝̬̕͡ ̡̢̜̘̘̫̠̞̯̜͓͎͚̦͕͈̳̥̺͢͢ͅa̶̴̲̥̞̱͍͇̞͓̼͓̘̦̬̪̰̮̩͓̕͘͢f̵̞͓̻̦̲̦̣͕̞͖̹̭ͅͅt͏͘͏̛̹̙͙̯̟̮̹e̢̖̘̼̖̺̕͡r҉̶̛̰̮͉̤͇̞͚̤͍̹͚͉ ̡͏͔̪͔͖̭a̴̪̜͔̦͠ ̛͜҉̲̹͖̲̣̪̖͔̼̞̟̞͖͎̺̱̲̩y̡̠͎̘͈͈͇̙̼̣̳͕̩̫̖͔͜͟͠é̷͓͙̱̱̕͠͝á̢̲͎̹̬͍͍̱̝̻͍̖̠͖̬̪͍̹̹̀͘ͅŗ̸͈̦͈ ̛̥̳̤̙́̕͜͞o̵͙̰͈̘͈̟͉̝̰̬̖̗̫̙͢͞͝ͅņ͍͇̯̘̙͇̠͖͕͉̗̟̙̮͉͝ ̷͘͏̙̤͉̻̣̮͟t̷͏̶͕̝̫̱̺̱̖̗̤̘̟̲͔ͅh̢̭͍̮͉̜͈͓͇͙͓̻̬͍̼͍̞̀i̢̡̖̰̮͞ͅs̬̼͔̯̙̕͞ ̸͏̶̧̧͉̯̤̜̬͖̹̳̥̻̦̼̭̙̖̘̫ṕ͏̸̱͈̠͉͎͙̰̹͍̺͎̭͚̻̞̲̝͓͞ͅl̴̨҉̱̠͚͙̺͉̤͙̹ą̡̮̠̬̥͔̠̪͉c̗̦̳̦̣͉͈̫̙̫͔̹̺͢ȩ͓̞̰̻̺͙͍̫͔̻̤̙.̛̦̯̫̺͎̙͔̪̖̦͖́́͞
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
audio -> video
voice;
I owe at least three times that much and I'm doing a-okay.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
no subject
no subject
What kind of big stakes?
no subject
End of all the worlds actually. Not to sound self-important but I'm pretty important.
no subject
And probably powerful?
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
backtags you into the sun