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[deconstruct]

[ well this has fuck all to do with either the holidays or cave spelunking, but here we go. ]

is anyone here a catholic priest? or any kind of priest?

or someone who can marry people, i guess?

asking for a friend.

actually asking for a friend. don't start having an aneurysm, alva, put up your wallet.

Comments

[heisenbitch]

Yeah
Totally
That's all I think about - some pedo Catholic priest marrying my sinful ass

[deconstruct]

i'll be your flower girl. seems like a job i could probably handle.

[heisenbitch]

[ Okay. Despite himself, that makes Jesse let out a snort of amusement. ]

You'd make one ugly ass flower girl

[ A LIE. Even straight (???) ol' Jesse can appreciate Andyr is a good-looking guy. But like he's going to be all gay about that. So. Macho hazing, it is. ]

[deconstruct]

[ he lies to amuse jesse pinkman okok ]

yeah well you get what you pay for [ and no one would pay anyone to have andyr prince show up with a basket of flower petals in a pastel little dress, ok, this is just the kind of tragedy that happens on its own ]

[heisenbitch]

You mean cheap and nasty?

omfg pretend that said *lives, wtf hands

[deconstruct]

A+, got it in one

smooches

[heisenbitch]

I'm touched that you'd wanna be my cheap and nasty flower girl
What a bro

o3o ugu

[deconstruct]

only the best for u, bro
or, well, the sub par, but with good intentions
whatever

[heisenbitch]

You gonna be a cheap and nasty flower girl for this friend of yours too?

[deconstruct]

nah, that shit's reserved for people who've had to deal with me bleeding on them
so you can marry alva - that'll cover all my bases and i'll only have to do it once

[heisenbitch]

Wow
How romantic

[deconstruct]

bc im just a soft, squishy sweetheart

[ this is a lie. he has murdered so many people, jesse. do not trust him and his lying liar hands. ]

[heisenbitch]

Know what else is soft and squishy?
Bullshit

[ Jesse has no idea how many people you've murdered, Andyr, but he knows the shit you've been through is hardly bound to make you a soft, squishy sweetheart. ]

[deconstruct]

im hurt, jesse
:(
see?

[ it's so true though. ]

[heisenbitch]

Weak ass pussy

[ Was it Andyr's intention to make Jesse smile? Because the idiocy that this conversation has devolved into is making him smile, something Jesse has kinda sorely needed, even if it's still lurking and gnawing in the back of his mind who the hell Andyr is asking about Catholic priests for. ]

[deconstruct]

[ it hadn't been the specific intention, no, but he does like jesse enough that he wants to see him at least amused, if not happy. andyr's getting a healthy amount of much needed snickers out of it as well, so it's mutually beneficial. ]

u wanna fight, pinkman? u really wanna get ur ass handed to you by a flower girl?

[heisenbitch]

Sure
What are you gonna hit me with?
A girly basket of flower petals?

[deconstruct]

u think i cant kill a bitch with a flower basket?
try me

[heisenbitch]

I might die laughing at you before you even get the chance

[deconstruct]

at least youll die happy

[heisenbitch]

You fucking weirdo

[ Jesse means that in the best way possible. Andyr has no idea how much he's actually cheered Jesse up with this stupidity. ]

[deconstruct]

tell me something thats news

[ 'Friends' isn't something that andyr's typically good at, for obvious reasons. mostly that he's a rude, creepy, morbid fuck who bites people in the face, but having such an easy time talking about stupid crap with jesse does more for him that can be said. he'd been important to him first for saving him, and now, for this as well. ]

[heisenbitch]

I got booze, flower girl
If you wanna hang
You can bring your girly basket of flower petals if you want
Does that count as news?

[deconstruct]

[ he's pretty sure he won't drink, but that isn't the appealing part of the offer. as antisocial as andyr is, he's grossly lonely, and pathetically eager to be around people who actually want him around. so, yeah, he's taking this up. ]

counts as something
maybe itll be news when i shove that basket up ur ass
but yeah
lets hang

[heisenbitch]

Kinky
My tent in ten?