video;

[sketchycharacter]

[Nathan looks utterly disgusted when his face appears via MID today, and that miiiight have something to do with the IKEA-esque furniture pieces scattered about his quarters. The canny eye might spot that they appear to be pieces of a queen-sized bed.]

Okay, we all know that the Ingress can be a dick, but this is outright sadistic. I'm glad Elena and I won't have to share a twin bed or shove two of them together for space, but sending me a disassembled bed with no instructions through mail drop isn't a lot better.

[He tosses a few stapled-together pages over his shoulder.]

Actually, there are instructions. But Swedish isn't one of the languages I speak. If anyone thinks they can put this shit together blind, let me know—I'll owe you one. I'd offer to trade you this thing for some help [he pans over to show the taco cat bespread] but Elena's already claimed it.

I didn't marry her for her good taste in décor.

[Sorry honey.]

Oh, yeah. [Apropos of nothing, Nate grins.] My best friend Sully came through the Ingress the other day too, so I guess it doesn't completely suck. Anyway, I would ask people not to tell him any embarrassing stories about what I've been up to here, but a lot of you are assholes.

[He says that with affection.]

Just remember I've probably seen you do some dumb stuff too, and if your friends show up, I won't hold back.

Comments

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

[Hey look, it's the mute girl who's sassed him with text..... who's currently laughing at him very audibly. ]

Have fun with the furniture hell.

[Guess who also got bunch of stuff from same company with no manuals several months ago.]

[sketchycharacter]

[Oh, hey. He blinks in surprise at the sound of her voice, then smiles.]

'Fun' probably isn't the right word, but I'll do my best.

video;

[otiosity]

Well that ought to keep you occupied for a bit. Like giving a dog a bone.

[Oh look who's recovered and looking mostly cheery and foolishly innocent of all that's coming.]

Though, I can't believe someone so charming hangs out with such a scoundrel like you. But now I ought to know what to ask him over drinks at the bar. "Embarrassing Nathan stories" should keep us occupied for a few good hours at least. And Fenris probably doesn't even know how to tell a good embarrassing story so I'm safe.

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[sketchycharacter]

[At least bones are presumably enjoyable to the dog.\

Oh, so you've met! Good to know. But the thing is, Hawke, your pal doesn't have to know it's an embarrassing story; I'm sure you've done enough embarrassing things that they'd just come out in the regular stories.

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[arcreact]

The Hell portal sent you an IKEA bed?

[ ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. ]

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[sketchycharacter]

Apparently. Strikes a nice balance—thoughtful, yet a pain in the ass.

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[a_shadow]

You actually look at the instructions for those things?

text;

[sketchycharacter]

not looking at them isn't working so far

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[lethen]

That blanket is an eyesore.

[Just saying it like it is.]

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[sketchycharacter]

I agree completely, but it's also not the hill I want to die on.

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[deconstruct]

That thing is ugly as fuck. I want it.

[ andyr also likes goats specifically because they're assholes, so his taste is also questionable. anyway - ]

Shepard and I got a ton of aquarium tanks with the same crap foreign instructions. Didn't know they were Swedish, though. I think I might've learn some words. [ maybe. they have the tanks together now, at least. ]

video;

[sketchycharacter]

You'll have to fight Elena for it.

[He wouldn't bet on Andyr.]

I don't want to swim with the fishes, or I'd get you two to come here and work on this. Maybe I should hit you up for vocabulary lessons, though.

[prorenataa]

What concerns me most about this entire announcement is the idea that disassembled beds are something you encounter regularly?

[ No comment on the taco cat or Elena's taste in decor. Adrien has to have his back to her when she has access to scalpels and hypodermic needles; he's protecting his own ass here. ]

[sketchycharacter]

I wish. Well, not really, but if I did, I'd probably be better at this.

voice

[deadthing]

That blanket is a work of art.

[He sounds awed. He wants one.]

voice

[sketchycharacter]

In the sense that paint splattered randomly across a canvas is also art, I guess.

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[nofluffybunny]

Why don't you sneak the taco cat off to the kids?

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[sketchycharacter]

[He snaps his fingers and grins.]

That's a great idea. You're a genius.

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[tearsinajar]

That's right, share with the ship how great my purrito blanket is. Show them all just how jealous you are.

[ Jackass. ]

Video

[sketchycharacter]

We sleep in the same bed. Why would I be jealous of something that's basically mine too?

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[oldforthis]

Looks like you got your hands full for a while, kid. Instructions or not, those things are more trouble than some of those puzzles your friend Drake put us through.

[Helpful observation is helpful. He's grinning though so he must be amused at Nate's struggle here.]

So, you wanna spare yourself the embarrassment yourself or should I start asking around on these things?

Video

[sketchycharacter]

[Yeah, no kidding. Drake's puzzles were tough, but even in Yemen it was like part of him wanted someone to follow his path, see what he'd seen, despite the warnings. Nate's not sure the makers of this bed ever wanted anyone to actually build it.]

Oh, no, don't waste your time. I was talking about hypotheticals. Of course I haven't actually done anything embarrassing here.

[VIDEO]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Need help putting something together?

I can probably do it. I'm sure I'd have better luck with that then working on the Ingress.

[VIDEO]

[sketchycharacter]

I think I've got it covered now...that, or I'm going to set it on fire. I call that results either way.

Video

[iattractmushi]

Does that happen a lot? Just... getting things randomly, I mean.

Video

[sketchycharacter]

Once a month or so, I think? I've gotten a few things from home, too.

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[meetmyblade]

So you're trying to trade your wife's blankets in exchange for help with building a bed.

[...that. That sounds counter productive.]

Are you sure that sort of behaviour's not going to get you kicked out of the bed once you manage to build it?

video;

[sketchycharacter]

Oh, I know better than to try to do that. I only wish I could.