video;

[sketchycharacter]

[Nathan looks utterly disgusted when his face appears via MID today, and that miiiight have something to do with the IKEA-esque furniture pieces scattered about his quarters. The canny eye might spot that they appear to be pieces of a queen-sized bed.]

Okay, we all know that the Ingress can be a dick, but this is outright sadistic. I'm glad Elena and I won't have to share a twin bed or shove two of them together for space, but sending me a disassembled bed with no instructions through mail drop isn't a lot better.

[He tosses a few stapled-together pages over his shoulder.]

Actually, there are instructions. But Swedish isn't one of the languages I speak. If anyone thinks they can put this shit together blind, let me know—I'll owe you one. I'd offer to trade you this thing for some help [he pans over to show the taco cat bespread] but Elena's already claimed it.

I didn't marry her for her good taste in décor.

[Sorry honey.]

Oh, yeah. [Apropos of nothing, Nate grins.] My best friend Sully came through the Ingress the other day too, so I guess it doesn't completely suck. Anyway, I would ask people not to tell him any embarrassing stories about what I've been up to here, but a lot of you are assholes.

[He says that with affection.]

Just remember I've probably seen you do some dumb stuff too, and if your friends show up, I won't hold back.

Comments

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

[Hey look, it's the mute girl who's sassed him with text..... who's currently laughing at him very audibly. ]

Have fun with the furniture hell.

[Guess who also got bunch of stuff from same company with no manuals several months ago.]

video;

[otiosity]

Well that ought to keep you occupied for a bit. Like giving a dog a bone.

[Oh look who's recovered and looking mostly cheery and foolishly innocent of all that's coming.]

Though, I can't believe someone so charming hangs out with such a scoundrel like you. But now I ought to know what to ask him over drinks at the bar. "Embarrassing Nathan stories" should keep us occupied for a few good hours at least. And Fenris probably doesn't even know how to tell a good embarrassing story so I'm safe.

video;

[sketchycharacter]

[At least bones are presumably enjoyable to the dog.\

Oh, so you've met! Good to know. But the thing is, Hawke, your pal doesn't have to know it's an embarrassing story; I'm sure you've done enough embarrassing things that they'd just come out in the regular stories.

[sketchycharacter]

[Oh, hey. He blinks in surprise at the sound of her voice, then smiles.]

'Fun' probably isn't the right word, but I'll do my best.

[otiosity]

I don't think Fenris has the cadence for a good embarrassing story.

[sketchycharacter]

I'll be the judge of that. Alternatively, you could just ask Sully for stories not about me.

video;

[arcreact]

The Hell portal sent you an IKEA bed?

[ ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. ]

video;

[sketchycharacter]

Apparently. Strikes a nice balance—thoughtful, yet a pain in the ass.

text;

[a_shadow]

You actually look at the instructions for those things?

[otiosity]

Good luck getting him to tell you without getting punched in the face. Or he'll mostly just tell you how much he hates mages. [Fenris is a special soul.]

And where's the fun in stories not about you?

video

[lethen]

That blanket is an eyesore.

[Just saying it like it is.]

video;

[deconstruct]

That thing is ugly as fuck. I want it.

[ andyr also likes goats specifically because they're assholes, so his taste is also questionable. anyway - ]

Shepard and I got a ton of aquarium tanks with the same crap foreign instructions. Didn't know they were Swedish, though. I think I might've learn some words. [ maybe. they have the tanks together now, at least. ]

video;

[sketchycharacter]

You'll have to fight Elena for it.

[He wouldn't bet on Andyr.]

I don't want to swim with the fishes, or I'd get you two to come here and work on this. Maybe I should hit you up for vocabulary lessons, though.

video

[sketchycharacter]

I agree completely, but it's also not the hill I want to die on.

text;

[sketchycharacter]

not looking at them isn't working so far

[sketchycharacter]

[Wow why would he hate mages? Hawke is an awesome mess.]

There's got to be something interesting about them. Otherwise humanity would be super boring until I came along.

[otiosity]

Interesting but useless in my goal to make fun of you in the future.

Though I am currently distracted by that blanket. I hate cats and yet it's somehow horrifically charming.

text;

[a_shadow]

Does the instruction booklet have an expanded schematic in it?

That's the only thing you need really

text;

[sketchycharacter]

and yet this still isn't going together right
maybe it's just me

[sketchycharacter]

It's just horrifying, period. I'd give it to you if I could.

[otiosity]

Sorry. I avoid all things cat even if I find it amusing for my personal health. It's yours forever and you can't pawn it off on me.

Though... what are those things it's holding?

text;

[a_shadow]

Probably

I guess I do have a bit of an advantage reading these things considering

You want help?

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Now now, don't be like that. In my experience dealing with the European products like these can be an adventure.

[lethen]

[He's glad he'll probably die single. Marriage is horrifying.]

Is it eating... food?

[sketchycharacter]

What do you have against cats?

[He thought Hawke liked...you know what, no.]

Tacos and pizza.