thisavrou | [VIDEO] 001

[So, with much effort, the MID starts broadcasting a close up of...well, it's a very green eye.]

Is...Is this thing on? Does the light mean it's on? Please let the light mean that it's on...

[The figure pulls back to reveal...a face! Just a normal face, covered in...soot? Burns? One of his bangs might be on fire.]

Okay, so...first off, I guess I should introduce myself. My name's Darin Altway, Master Blacksmith. I'm new here and I guess my new job is mechanical engineer on the Ingress?

[Darin is pointedly keeping the camera close to his face. He looks nervous.]

So uh...full disclosure? I don't know what an Ingress is. Or half of what these things are.

Most of what these things are.

...Almost all of these things.

And I lost my blacksmith hammer, so I've kind of been making due with the tools on hand and hahaha...so, funny story, you can't just hit things with hammers to make them work? Crazy, right? So...if anyone who knows anything about...uh...any of these gadgets and gizmos could come on down to engineering and give me a crash course in...um... everything, I would really appreciate--

[He's cut off by what sounds like something backfiring and creating a much larger fire.]

GAH!! OW!! HOT!! HOT HOT HO--

[The video ends there.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Man, was that a compliment?

That must have really hurt you to give, huh?

... ... ...

Is a thick skull something to be proud of, where you're from?

Hey, it's the nicest thing I've gotten outta you so far, lady.

I'll take what I can get.

[He's laying casually on his side now, scratching at his head. It's almost as if the catastrophic rib trauma from a few minutes ago hadn't even happened.]

[Hey, buddy. Nasty princesses get things done.

... that is pretty strange, though, isn't it?]

How are you even still conscious? That blast hit you dead-on!

Well, if my mind doesn't get how the laws of the universe work, then my body should follow suit, yeah?

I'm literally too stupid to be hurt.

Ever.

[Yawn.]

[That's not how it works. That's not how any of this works.]

... you make it very tempting to test that theory.

Try if you want, lady. You know where to find me.

[He stretches then kicks his legs up and hops back into his feet. With that, he starts dusting himself off.]

But if you want a real answer to your question, I'm a lot stronger than I look. Things like that hardly affect me.

[So this raises a fascinating question for Allura: Is it human? Maybe she had jumped to an early conclusion based on the puny little ears. But the hair doesn't match what's she's seen of human pigmentation -- and that is a detail she pays attention to, for certain reasons -- and given how nonchalant he is about the level of damage he just took...

There is always the distinct possibility that he's from a separate race. One that's more brutish. And primitive.]

Consider this your first true lesson in space engineering, then: All the equipment around you is far more delicate than it appears. If you are doing anything that would risk bodily injury to yourself, then you've gone too far.

I'm confused.

[For a second, it almost sounds like Darin is about to ask for actual clarification.]

[Then he starts grunting.]

Rhythmic beeping relaxes Darin. Make Darin calm.

But flashing lights make Darin mad! Like electric tree from sky when clouds cry!

WHAT DO, LADY BIG-EARS??

Weren't you trying to convince me that you shouldn't be reassigned?

No, I was trying to convince you to give me a break.

Scrubbing toilets should be leisurely compared to the challenges of engineering. Don't you agree?

Oi! Don't go making these decisions on your own!

I'm an engineer! I'm not gonna scrub crap!!

It's a type of engineering. Bathroom engineering.

If you want the bathrooms engineered so hard, why don't you do it?!

What's your job anyway? Talking down to people??

I'm the newly appointed veterinary assistant, actually.

Informing others on how to keep their dangerous animals under control is part of my duties.

... ... ...

WAIT, ARE YOU CALLING ME A DANGEROUS ANIMAL?!

How long have you been here? You've already started fires and triggered an explosion.

You are exactly like a nervous animal that is chewing on the furniture.