[VIDEO] 001

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[So, with much effort, the MID starts broadcasting a close up of...well, it's a very green eye.]

Is...Is this thing on? Does the light mean it's on? Please let the light mean that it's on...

[The figure pulls back to reveal...a face! Just a normal face, covered in...soot? Burns? One of his bangs might be on fire.]

Okay, so...first off, I guess I should introduce myself. My name's Darin Altway, Master Blacksmith. I'm new here and I guess my new job is mechanical engineer on the Ingress?

[Darin is pointedly keeping the camera close to his face. He looks nervous.]

So uh...full disclosure? I don't know what an Ingress is. Or half of what these things are.

Most of what these things are.

...Almost all of these things.

And I lost my blacksmith hammer, so I've kind of been making due with the tools on hand and hahaha...so, funny story, you can't just hit things with hammers to make them work? Crazy, right? So...if anyone who knows anything about...uh...any of these gadgets and gizmos could come on down to engineering and give me a crash course in...um... everything, I would really appreciate--

[He's cut off by what sounds like something backfiring and creating a much larger fire.]

GAH!! OW!! HOT!! HOT HOT HO--

[The video ends there.]

Comments

[patchricide]

Scrubbing toilets should be leisurely compared to the challenges of engineering. Don't you agree?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Oi! Don't go making these decisions on your own!

I'm an engineer! I'm not gonna scrub crap!!

[patchricide]

It's a type of engineering. Bathroom engineering.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

If you want the bathrooms engineered so hard, why don't you do it?!

What's your job anyway? Talking down to people??

[patchricide]

I'm the newly appointed veterinary assistant, actually.

Informing others on how to keep their dangerous animals under control is part of my duties.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

... ... ...

WAIT, ARE YOU CALLING ME A DANGEROUS ANIMAL?!

[patchricide]

How long have you been here? You've already started fires and triggered an explosion.

You are exactly like a nervous animal that is chewing on the furniture.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

... ... ...


You better hope I'm house trained.

[patchricide]

... ... ...



You wouldn't dare.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Try me.

[patchricide]

NOT ON THE FLOOR!!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You're welcome to try and stop me.

[patchricide]

I don't even know where you are!

[Guess who doesn't know her way around the ship yet. Thiiiis girl!]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Man, that sounds like a problem for not-me.

[patchricide]

When I find you, I'm going to make it your problem!

[She's on the move now!]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Uuuuuh huh.

Whatever you say.

[He's...He's not even listening now. He's just humoring her and it shows, because he's getting to work on straightening up.]