text

[knaval]

hi there!! my name is riptide and some of you might now me as the guy who got punched in the face by magnus a couple of weeks ago
i haven't been out much recently but i guess there's a load of new people!! hi!! again!!! i'm one of the giant metal guys
i turn into a boat and yes i will totally show you if you want
and also, yes, i am aware of the irony of being a water vehicle in space
its been three million years, i've heard all the jokes OKAY

ANYWAY... i come to you all asking a favour
i have to do something for someone but i'm missing some key artefacts with which to complete this
i need:

-plastic wings. big ones please
-the entire collection of enya and sinead o'connor
-a strong chain
-super glue

if anyone has any of those or some ideas for substitutes, let me know!! :)

Comments

[squadgoals]

Sounds like a killer party. Am I invited?

[knaval]

MAYBE

private

its no a party so much as I'm going to set up my CO'S. I'm 90% certain they're in love




Okay 30 but

PRIVATE

[squadgoals]

30% sure is pretty unsure, Riptide. What if they don't take kindly to the dating game?

Re: PRIVATE

[knaval]

then itll be a fun show for the rest of the ship
ones a warlord who's killed trillions and the other is a cop.....

[squadgoals]

[jesus f christ nO]

Right.

It's all fun and games until the Moira is severed in twain and we simple organics are asphyxiating in space.

[knaval]

they already get along though
like weirdly well

[squadgoals]

So does fire and paper products.

Well, at least it'll make a good romcom vid.

[knaval]

They're two of the most mature cybertronians aboard
That sounds like it's not a huge deal but it is

[squadgoals]

Mature? [Wait, Cybertronians can get seriously old. In years? Or otherwise?

[knaval]

both
actually idk how old they are but I assume both

[squadgoals]

[wait

chain

wings

glue

what she can only assume are shitty romance songs]

Stop me if I'm totally off course here, but: are you planning to hang above them dressed like an angel of love.

[knaval]

ME??????? dont be ridiculous im far too big
im gonna ask talegate

[squadgoals]

Is there anything I can say to convince you not to go through with this.

Because if there is, I'll say it.

[knaval]

no sorry its happening shep

[squadgoals]

Please don't get killed. [SIDESWIPE WOULD BE EVEN SADDER SO PLEASE. DON'T.]

[knaval]

NO PROMISES

[squadgoals]

I'm not budging on this one. You're going to have to meet me at least half-way.

[knaval]

or what

[squadgoals]

[He's got her, there. Not a lot to threaten with. Unless...]

Or your secret stash of embarrassing text messages gets posted on the network.

[It's a shot in the dark — if he's never made any, it's hard to threaten — and she doesn't have any. But hey, give them an inch, and they'll take a mile — minds are a creative, imaginative place!!]

[knaval]

SHOW THEM TO THE WORLD SHEPPER I'M NOT EMBARRASSED

[squadgoals]

[teenagers are the literal worst]

ALL of them?

[knaval]

even the sexy ones

[squadgoals]

Bold.

I've got to say, I'm impressed. Isn't there anything you're afraid of?

[knaval]

ive been aliove longer than humans have been a species
so obviously only spiders and gross slimy things

[squadgoals]

Naturally.

Hey Riptide, guess what?