video;

[hatesimprovising]

[ Hello, crew of the Moira. If you look at your MID devices, you'll be seeing one baby-faced space marine covered in kittens. Well, not covered, but he's got three climbing all over him while he's piled under a blanket. There's a ginger one, a fluffy grey tabby, and a chocolate brown-almost-black one, all of which seem to be enjoying their new climbing post. Wash, meanwhile, has a wide grin on his face. It's been too long since he's been around cats, okay? And he loves the little buggers. ]

I'm guessing I'm not the only one who's noticed the kittens in the garden? And if I am, well, there're kittens in the garden. And they're pretty adorable. I'm not entirely sure where they came from, but if anyone else wants some, I'd recommend getting down there and adopting one or two. They could use some warm love in these temperatures.

[ To emphasize, he shivers a little, though his expression doesn't shift a bit. He's quite literally thrilled by this turn of events. Kittens, guys. KITTENS. ]

I stayed and played with as many as I could for a while to keep them active, but there's only so much I could do, you know? So I grabbed these guys [ he gestures with his shoulders to the kittens climbing in and out of the blanket hanging over him ] and brought them back to my room. Figured I'd give them a home.

And now for the other reason for this broadcast--I could use some name suggestions. [ He doesn't even look sheepish. He legitimately wants help with cat names and either doesn't care or doesn't realize how ridiculous that sounds. ] So, if you have any, maybe leave them for me?

Oh! And I'm Wash, by the way. Agent Washington, technically, but everyone just calls me Wash.

[ And there the feed ends, with Wash still grinning his stupid "CATS" grin and a kitten batting at his chest. ]

Comments

audio

[stompadour]

[Jasper determinedly replies via audio so that the small animals seeking warmth in her tremendous mane of hair are not visible, but you might hear the occasional squeaky little meow anyway.]

Kittens. Is that what they're called. They're very... fluffy. [It's kind of hard to tell if she disapproves or not.]

audio

[hatesimprovising]

Yeah, they are.

[ Wash is happy to discuss the fluffiness of kittens. Like, always. And judging by the squeaks, he's guessing she's got some kittens with her, too. ]

Some more than others. Are you adopting some, too?

audio

[stompadour]

[Jasper does personally favour the longer-haired ones.]

... No. I'm not. [A thoughtful pause.] You said they need to be kept warm, though..? Hm.

audio

[hatesimprovising]

Oh.

[ He's disappointed to hear that. However, he perks up when she continues, hopeful. ]

Yeah, just like the rest of u-- Er. Most of the rest of us. They'll die if they're left in the cold for too long.

Re: audio

[stompadour]

[She kind of scoffs, as if the idea of dying from cold is preposterous. However: one of her fingers is still stinging where one of these small creatures sank its tiny, needle-sharp fangs into her, and her bare arms have been subjected to a number of scratches from their newly-grown claws. They're distastefully tiny, but she kind of grudgingly respects them and their capacity to wound things.]

Alright, I guess I can make sure a few of them don't die. Not like it's a worse use of my time than anything else I'm supposed to be doing on this ship.

video

[forwardmomentum]

[ miles looks pretty surprised, but also, grinning in delight. oh, man. wait till ivan hears about this. ]

Ah, the tiny cats? Yes, those would've come from the kitten tree. I'm glad to see it's dropped its fruit.

[ it sounds exactly the kind of thing someone would say to string someone else along, except it's totally true. ]

video

[hatesimprovising]

...Kitten tree?

[ Immediately Wash's face blanks out. ]

Wait, these are fruit cats? They look like normal ones to me! Aside from maybe being a little on the small side...

Re: video

[forwardmomentum]

Oh, yes. They came from the kitten tree -- it's in the garden. Ah, but it's sort of on the small side, so it's easy to miss. That's why these cats are so small, you see. Bonsai kitten tree, miniature cats. They were in bloom when it got here, but I wasn't sure it'd actually drop the cats.

[ totally straight face here. ]

video

[hatesimprovising]

[ H...ow do you say that with a straight face????

For several long moments, Wash just stares. The kittens continue to wiggle around on him, ruining the effect to an extent, but he takes no note of this. Instead he just keeps staring. He's gullible, okay, but only to an extent. Gosh. ]

...You're kidding me, right?

[forwardmomentum]

[ miles' eyebrows raise slightly at that, as if in challenge. his gaze flicks briefly to the cats wriggling around onscreen, then back to wash's face. totally straight face, yep. ]

Do I look like I'm lying to you?

[ he is 100% telling the truth but also it's pretty hilarious to watch wash try to figure out if miles is yanking his chain. ]

video

[whatdidisay]

( those are some very small cats, and ivan knows exactly where they came from )

How many of them are there?

( oh god. )

video

[hatesimprovising]

I didn't really count, to be completely honest.

[ They were hard to round up, okay? He tried, but they kept scurrying off and they're so tiny and-- ]

Quite a few, though. Like, more than you can count on two hands, for sure.

video

[whatdidisay]

Well yeah, the tree had a lot of um. Blooms?

( that's the best way to put it.... )

video

[hatesimprovising]

And who knows how many kittens each bloom produced...

[ Wash shakes his head, but he laughs a little as he does it. ]

I can't believe we're talking about an actual kitten tree and being completely serious about it.

video

[whatdidisay]

It better be just one, or the Cetagandans are sicker than I thought.

( he has a personal investment in this. sort of. kind of. )

It's from my universe. ( he says with a shrug, and then feels like he has to defend himself/his planet a little. ) Not my planet, though. That sort of thing is liable to make even the most forward thinking Barrayaran jumpy.

voice;

[soldiergenes]

[ With the situation that they're in right now, people need to try and find morale boosts wherever they can. If that comes in the form of kittens, then why not? Wash is proving himself to be just as much the rookie that Snake had pinned him as, but everyone has to start somewhere. So far he's worked out just fine as a roommate. And animals, even ones as small as these, will provide some body heat.

That being said, Snake should still make sure Wash doesn't go completely overboard. (This coming from a man who used to live with fifty huskies in a cabin in Alaska, but no one here knows that. ) ]

Just how many are you bringing in? [ He doesn't sound accusatory, simply curious. ]

voice;

[hatesimprovising]

[ Oh, hey roomie. Wash was just worrying about Snake's response to him bringing in pets without asking if it's cool. It's a small sense of relief to hear that his voice isn't annoyed, or anything along those lines--that's a good sign, if anything. ]

Only three. There were a lot more, but I didn't want to overwhelm you, or anything.

[ Pause. ]

...You don't have a problem with some cats in the room, do you?

voice;

[soldiergenes]

[ "Only three." Snake would be amused except for the part where he absolutely can't judge. Besides, their room is large enough to hold a whole other person. Some small cats won't be that much of an imposition. ]

Not allergic or anything, so no. [ He isn't exactly a cat person, but he doesn't have anything against them either. It's probably better than letting them wander around the ship. ]

Do we have any idea where they come from? Or did they just appear?

[ It's an eerie thought, but there's a lot about the Moira that doesn't add up. ]

voice;

[hatesimprovising]

Oh, good.

[ Wash heaves a sigh of relief and his face relaxes into a smile. He'd been genuinely worried that Snake was going to make him get rid of them, okay? And he's already attached. He's a natural cat mom. ]

Yeah! Apparently they came from this bonsai tree in the garden? I guess it's been blooming for a while and...finally bore its fruit. Which happens to be tiny cats.

[ His expression goes a little funny here, because he doesn't want to look like he's joking--he wants to wear a straight face, but it's just as weird a thing to repeat as to hear, so...he kind of fails at looking like he's joking and that he's not. His face is somewhere in between. ...Not that it matters much if Snake can't see him. ]

voice;

[soldiergenes]

[ Snake can hear in Wash's voice just how relieved he is, and it's almost endearing. He'd been concerned that he would have been a strict roommate and banned him from keeping a few pets. Snake realizes how he can come across, so he's not exactly surprised by the reaction.

The somewhat questioning tone in which Wash explains about the tree indicates that he's just as baffled by saying it as Snake is by hearing it. ]

A tree that sprouts cats? [ He shakes his head to himself, which might cause some static on the line. ] At this rate I feel like I need to make a list of the things that are actually normal around here. [ And it would be a pretty short one. ]

video;

[heliakal]

[ Clark has just finished rounding up the remaining kittens and herding them into a makeshift nest of blankets and solar lamps, just visible behind him. One of the kittens is sleeping curled up on his shoulder - he doesn't have the heart to move her.

It's good to know where the kittens who are unaccounted for have wandered off to. Wash seems like a nice guy, and he seems genuinely concerned, so Clark is happy to see that he's taken some of them. This is really the worst time for them to get lost somewhere in the ship. ]

Hey, thanks for taking some of them in, and for letting the others know. [ He smiles. ] Any luck with the names yet?

video;

[hatesimprovising]

Yeah, no problem! I felt bad just leaving them there... I mean, I still feel bad leaving them all there, but I don't think my roommate would like a whole herd of kittens moving in so I had to lower the number.

[ He laughs sheepishly and strokes one of the kittens that's settled into his lap. Over Clark's shoulder, Wash can see the other kittens have a nice setup now though, so he doesn't feel quite so bad--he just wishes he could have done something like that for them. ]

But I did figure that there might be others around willing to take some in, too, which would help. I don't know that anyone else has been by, though. [ He hopes so, but...who knows? ]

Names? Not yet. I've got a couple ideas, but I'm not great at naming things, so I don't necessarily trust them.

[heliakal]

Don't feel bad - you did what you could. A few people have been through to take them in, too. [ Clark rubs the side of his neck that isn't currently occupied by a kitten. ] And they're sort of my responsibility -- I just didn't know they would ever separate from the tree.

[ Clark laughs a little. ] I'm sure the kittens won't mind what you name them. It looks like they're just happy to be warm.

And speaking of names... Agent Washington sounds like a codename. Is it the only one you go by?

[hatesimprovising]

Oh-- I didn't know they were anyone's responsibility. I would have asked to make sure it was okay before taking some in that case. ...Why are they your responsibility, anyway? Didn't they come from someone else's world?

[ Wash chuckles a little himself, though it's slightly embarrassed. ] I guess that's true, yeah. I just don't want to pick anything bad, you know?

And oh, uhm. Well, kind of. I mean, usually I just go by Wash, but that's still sort of only going by my codename, isn't it?

[heliakal]

It's not like that -- they got dropped on my doorstep by mistake to begin with, and most people found them a little unsettling when they were attached to the tree so I just... [ He gestures vaguely. Ivan had taken them while his roommate was still threatening to kill them, thankfully, and after Bucky had left it didn't matter as much. ] And I ended up in charge of the gardens so it all sort of worked out.

[ Clark rubs his chin. If it means that much to Wash... ] Well, I don't know. Where I come from people usually name them for their coat patterns, like Ginger or Mr. Panda.

[ He inclines his head. ] I take it you're a soldier of some kind back home? I don't mean to pry if it's classified, it just feels a little strange to address people by codename.