video;

[hatesimprovising]

[ Hello, crew of the Moira. If you look at your MID devices, you'll be seeing one baby-faced space marine covered in kittens. Well, not covered, but he's got three climbing all over him while he's piled under a blanket. There's a ginger one, a fluffy grey tabby, and a chocolate brown-almost-black one, all of which seem to be enjoying their new climbing post. Wash, meanwhile, has a wide grin on his face. It's been too long since he's been around cats, okay? And he loves the little buggers. ]

I'm guessing I'm not the only one who's noticed the kittens in the garden? And if I am, well, there're kittens in the garden. And they're pretty adorable. I'm not entirely sure where they came from, but if anyone else wants some, I'd recommend getting down there and adopting one or two. They could use some warm love in these temperatures.

[ To emphasize, he shivers a little, though his expression doesn't shift a bit. He's quite literally thrilled by this turn of events. Kittens, guys. KITTENS. ]

I stayed and played with as many as I could for a while to keep them active, but there's only so much I could do, you know? So I grabbed these guys [ he gestures with his shoulders to the kittens climbing in and out of the blanket hanging over him ] and brought them back to my room. Figured I'd give them a home.

And now for the other reason for this broadcast--I could use some name suggestions. [ He doesn't even look sheepish. He legitimately wants help with cat names and either doesn't care or doesn't realize how ridiculous that sounds. ] So, if you have any, maybe leave them for me?

Oh! And I'm Wash, by the way. Agent Washington, technically, but everyone just calls me Wash.

[ And there the feed ends, with Wash still grinning his stupid "CATS" grin and a kitten batting at his chest. ]

Comments

[hatesimprovising]

[ Wash huffs a little at the grin, because he's beginning to get the idea that the guy is fucking with him. Reminds him of York, in a way. ]

Okay. As long as they don't, like, start turning into fruit or sprouting or something, I'm good. [ Still looking a little put-out, but there's curiosity that crosses his face at. ] Art form? Really? Because I heard from another guy that they're... I dunno, that he doesn't like them. Made them sound...inhumane.

[forwardmomentum]

[ miles actually laughs at that, giving wash a manic grin. ]

Who, my cousin Ivan? Oh, he had a bad experience with one of those things a few years back. Really soured him on the whole idea. We did see it at an art show, though -- well, more of a competition -- a much bigger one, the size of a proper tree. I really thought it was one of a kind.

[hatesimprovising]

Apparently not. But for an art piece, I guess it's pretty impressive that it actually works.

[ Pondering this for a few moments. ]

...So would a properly-sized tree like this produce properly-sized cats?

[ Just curious. The teeny ones are super cute but now this whole thing has him interested. Well, it already did because cats were involved, but now more so than before. ]

[forwardmomentum]

Actually, I...don't think the photosynthetic gestation of cats was the point of the piece. It was more for the aesthetic value, as I understand it. Honestly, I didn't think they designed it to drop the kittens at all, but maybe it was just an inevitable fact of biology. But, ah, yes. The kittens we saw were more normal-sized.

[ he pauses, shrugs. ]

So, yeah. Go wild. Adopt a bunch of cats, Wash. They're ripe for the taking.

[ he grins. ]

[hatesimprovising]

...That makes no sense. I mean...how do you make a tree that's just supposed to be pretty, and end up with one that drops cats like fruit?

[ He just doesn't get it. Granted, they're from different worlds, so maybe that's almost a normal thing for Miles, but for Wash? It's just confusing.

The next comment makes Wash's expression fall. Makes it turn a little sour even. It darkens, and he grimaces. ]

That's a terrible joke. [ Considering what happens when they're not ripe? ] Just. Really awful.

[forwardmomentum]

[ miles' grin just widens, and he waves. ]

Have fun with the kittens, Wash. Try not to let them get too underfoot.

[ miles ends the call. see ya, wash ]