video; public/unencrypted; he didn't just say what i think he did; did he?; (forward dated)

[a_perfect_end]

Greetings!

[Did somebody order what looks and acts a lot like a greasy, glowing televangelist? Because that's what you've got, beaming and unctuous, and jittering with something suspiciously like nervous energy.]

Things certainly have adjusted around here recently, haven't they? Slap me with a harpoon and call me Ishmael.

...I mean, of course, that I welcome our new organic overlords with open arms.

Comments

video;

[hatesimprovising]

[ Wow, what a smarmy, slimy little-- ]

With a knife, maybe.

[ There's a smile, but it's taut. Mocking. Much more a sneer than a smile. He knows the geniality is all an act. Even if he didn't know who Clu was, he'd be uncomfortable just talking to him. ]

Right, clever. Give me the dictionary definition. Clearly I was being entirely literal about you not knowing the word. [ He'd roll his eyes, but he's too busy narrowing them. ]

And what, exactly, do you mean by consequences?

[ And he swears to god, if you define the word, he will hunt you down and punch you in that smug face of yours. ]

video;

[a_perfect_end]

[Just, arranging his face as though butter wouldn't dare melt on his tongue, so, so smooth; this is clearly irritating his new friend, and that's kinda fun.]

Pity. [With a hard click of the tongue.] Still, that's what I figured you were really after.

I mean, if you're dead set on it, I welcome you to try.

Just, please, call me first. Sneak attacks are so overdone--and I don't sleep, not like you, so please don't ask me to do it with an eye open.

[Clu just gets more and more and more genial until he melts down in a rage, and he has quite a long way to go there, considering he doesn't even know this dude's name. He grins like a bear trap, big and wide and too, too shiny.]

Consequences are the natural product of threats, Cheekbones.

...Are you not threatening me? You having trouble making up your mind?

video;

[hatesimprovising]

I wouldn't bother with a cliche line. Besides, I'd rather you were fully aware. Better if you know what's happening and why.

[ As though he expects Clu to lament on why he might end up under attack at some point in the future. Actually talking to him now? Wash is doubting that he's the type to do so. Especially considering he's welcoming the idea of a fight.

Doesn't mean Wash isn't still heavily considering it, though. ]

No, my mind is pretty damn made.

[ He'd really like to punch that creepy smile off Clu's face. Does anyone buy this guy as anything but unsettling and Not Good? ]

And I'm not particularly worried about any consequences there might be here. So, yeah, I'm threatening you. Seems about time someone did.

video;

[a_perfect_end]

No, I agree; I hate surprises.

[No regrets. Less than zero. However, new analytic vectors have presented themselves.

...It's better if those remain concealed for now.]

Babe, if you think it's my first time, I really don't know what to say.

video;

[hatesimprovising]

[ Wow, ew, do not call him that. ]

Oh, I don't think it's your first time.

[ That seems like it would be a massive misread. No, no, he's sure Clu has been threatened before. ]

I just think you're getting off easy around here.

video;

[a_perfect_end]

[What's with the face? Those good looks are not his fault.]

Easy? You say such interesting things.

There is one law here, and I have not broken it. How have I gotten off easy?

video;

[hatesimprovising]

There are a lot of us who are aware of the kinds of things you do.

[ Why go into specifics when you can be vague? Wash is fantastic at being cryptic. ]

I don't care if you haven't killed. All actions should have consequences.

video;

[hatesimprovising]

[ Rather that respond to the comment regarding having things to hide, Wash simply scoffs. Maybe he has things to hide, but it's irrelevant here. ]

Is there a better way of bringing them?

[ Answer: no. He has full intentions of bringing consequences Clu's way, though he has yet to go out of his way to do so.

Largely because of the one law on the ship. ]

Hopefully you're prepared; when we cross paths, I'm going to be a lot less friendly.

video;

[a_perfect_end]

[...Oh.

He has not had a volunteer for Games in a very, very long time.

The rule is very old, older than the ship and its one law, older than Clu himself, older even than Flynn's Grid.

It's half a process, code-deep, ringing down into the backfile: Best program I ever wrote. Dogged and relentless. No 'but'; that's for Users.]

Wonderful! You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.

...You've already seen what I can do. Believe me, I'll be waiting.