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[Ah, here we have the not-so-illusive Sideswipe. Fresh, red hot angry teenager for you, Moira. All those blue lights on his armor glowing hotly. Here is a robot child with a bone to pick.]

[He's standing outside his room -- if anyone knows for sure where that is, and... bristling. As much as a guy covered in armor can bristle.]

Okay! So, hey, are we done arresting each other for stupid stuff?

[Sideswipe 'mutiny' isn't stupid--]

Because, I gotta say, if anyone else has a problem with Riptide? You're gonna take it up with me! That's right. Me.

[A guy who looks more like a beanpole than a warrior.]

The great Earth-Cop Sideswipe! Team Bee's finest! And Riptide's mine to handle, so there. No one else gets any other ideas about dragging him anywhere, no matter your universe. Unless you want to get sideswiped.

Out the airlock.

...

Oh yeah also, if you're tiny and organic and some idiot the size of a building starts throwing down? Page me. I'll be your one-way-ticket out of smashville.

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... Like a lot? Dude, I don't know. Go ask Ultra Fatness.

[Sorry human bro, the inter-robot-issue train is pretty much parked in his station right now. But anything to shame Magnus, at this point. Or, you know, toss him out into space for a bit to cool off.]

Also yeah. Why?

Who doesn't know how much they weigh? Not even a range? That's not really his name, is it?

[ because this dude is named 'sideswipe', which is weird enough, so maybe? talk about shit luck on the naming scale, though. ]

...Sort of lame but sort of awesome. Is there a robot named 'Dropkick'? [ because if not, he wants to take that one, pls and ty. ]

A lot a lot? I'm not kidding when I said he's like building sized, man. And it's something stupid like Ultra Magnus. He can't even just be 'magnus' he has to go and try to be cool with 'ULTRA' in front of it.

[HUFF HUFF ANGRY TEENAGE FEELINGS.]

... Uh. I think so? I might've raced someone like that back home once.

A lot's not a number, man. I need something between 1,000 and 2,000 pounds. Do you guys, like, detach or something? Could I borrow an arm off him or is that weird? [ Look he's not sure how robo you robo guys are, okay ] You jealous of him?

[ because you sound jealous. ]

Shit. Do you get to pick your names or does someone give 'em to you? Are you born from robot parents? [ so curious, what is all of this. ]

Edited 2016-08-06 22:41 (UTC)

Okay but conversions and stuff? Don't translate very well. You could ask him? Or try to, if he's not on some stupid revenge kick. [He makes a face.] No way! He almost killed my boyfriend, dude! i hate him!

... Honestly, I don't remember? I think I picked it.

Buuuuut hey! Direct all Cyberbiology Q&As to Ratchet! He's probably bored!

Robots have boyfriends? How's that even work? [ andyr you don't just ask people that omfg. ] Is Riptide the one that's your boyfriend?

[ since you seem very protective of him?? okay but asking cyberbiology questions to this one has been so much more fun. he seems more excitable than the other sassy robots. ]

What's up with him anyway, why're all the other robots pissed at him?

Dude, I totally looked it up. I'm a 'he', he's a 'he'. And we like each other sooooo... that's what you say when that happens, right? [He tried, man, he really did. His exposure to human culture is like 99.999% TV and movies.] Yeah. That's him.

[He's more excitable because he's like the teenager to everyone else's grouchy old man.]

He... did some stuff in the future. And it was bad stuff. So they're mad at him even though it hasn't happened for him yet.

[He holds up his hands in an approximation of jazz hands.]

Timelines~!

Yeah, but how do you kiss or have sex? Just smash metal pieces together? [ n o, stop. As for the confirmation, Andyr nods, this making more sense now. ]

Makes you kind of biased, though, as his warden or whatever.

[ he sort of hates the timelines thing, mainly because there’s someone he knows from a different time and her being here kind of sucks a lot. ]

So they’re trying to punish him for a crime he didn’t commit yet? How the fuck’s that make sense?

Uh, kissing with mouths? Which we've got? C'mon dude.

[Don't ask about the sex part you won't get an answer despite how much this idiot postures.]

So? No one else is doing anything to help him! [He's also not backing down on this part.] I dunno! That's why I'm here! Making sure he's gonna be okay!

Do you have lips though?

[ he'll leave the sex part out of it, but still, very curious, what even are you, angry robots? it is a mystery. ]

I'm just saying, they're not likely to listen to you. [ because of course you're going to defend your boyfriend. ] Isn't this crap something the captains should be deciding, not a lynch mob crew?

... Yeah? What do you think is here on my face, dude?

[He says it like it should be obvious.]

I don't care -- I -- he's already died here! I can't just do nothing. [He might be sounding a bit frantic here.] They haven't done anything before! Why would they start now!

Like a... metal gap? It's hard to tell.

[ look usually lips look different from the rest of your face ok, he's trying here. sort of. not much. ]

They killed him? Sounds more lynch mob than justice serving. Or monarch kinds of 'off with his head'. Do robots have a robot king?

... lips. I have lips. Okay?

[Geez dude. Pay attention to your nonexistent robot biology education.]

One of them did. Before all this even happened.

And nah, man. No robot kings.

Okay, you have lips.

[ whatever homie, whatever you say. ]

For the future crime or just because?

Thank you.

... Just because, I think.

You’re welcome. [ isn’t that the response that goes there?? Sure. ]

Fucked up, man. They psycho robots or something?

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