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[The following is actually a series of three separate posts to the network; all three are posted in fairly quick succession, likely before anyone can reply to the first two, though they are open to comments.]

how do you make it so not everyone can read one of these things

[like thirty seconds later]

oh

[a couple of minutes later LOCKED FROM CERTAIN PEOPLE NAMED ELENA FISHER]

so a bunch of people use this system to pour their hearts out and get other people to do the same which usually seems weird to me. i mean just because you say it over the mid doesn't mean you won't run into people later and make it really weird and awkward. i don't know maybe that's just me.

except what the hell i'm pretty drunk right now so why the fuck not!

RIDDLE ME THIS, CREWMATES. pretend for a minute that you're a complete asshole who somehow got the most amazing woman in the world to marry you, fucked it up real fast like dropped a grenade on it bad BECAUSE you're a complete asshole, got her to take you back and start over and then fucked it up again.

what do you do? asking for a friend.

also the first person to make a suggestion that actually works can have some of my alcohol stash. everyone else can fuck off i'm not sharing.

[action options - feel free to go from a network thread to one of these]

[OPTION 1: DRUNK. Nate is pretty toasted as he wanders around the ship, but not so much than he has trouble getting around with just an occasional stumble. Alcohol tends to loosen his lips, so he'll gladly (well, not he's not real glad about anything right now) talk to anyone who makes the poor life decision to talk to him first.

[OPTION 2: DRUNKER. Jeez, he's getting to be a real mess now. Nate makes a trip to where the Mess Hall used to be so he can pour one out in honor of the lost bar. What a hideous waste of alcohol. Afterward, he visits the observation deck to drunkenly look at the stars, and will stay there.

[OPTION 3: DRUNKEST. Oh god he's so unhappy. Look at this complete wreck of a man who's making the observation deck a pretty unpleasant place to be. He is completely wasted. (Existing CR only for this option please—basically, if they've had at least one conversation, you're good.)]

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[She raises her arms up in a clear gesture of apology.]

Sorry. Didn't wasn't sure exactly how it ended. Married then. Didn't expect that one.

[After a moment, he just sighs.]

Yeah well. Still kinda up in the air if I don't fix things.

[He sighs.]

Do something sparkly.

Sparkles it is.

[She flicks her fingers and makes little sparkles of light appear in the air and fall to the ground like odd miniature fireworks.]

If you want to tell me what needs to fixed, I'm all ears. I'm one of those people that everyone wants to tell their life story to, apparently.

[Ooh. Pretty. He is captivated. Drunk and captivated.]

In that case I'll spare you. Just make up a reason in your head why I'm an asshole, it's probably close enough to count.

Well at least you're enough of a respectable kind of asshole to go and drink your regrets away instead of not caring.

[She idly taps her fingers together, creating small sparks. Hawke doesn't really have any advice. Marriage is something that she knows exactly zero about besides what she saw from her parents and married life on the run wasn't exactly the sort of idyllic life most imagine. But he really just looks so pathetically sad that it stirs up a strange desire to help.]

Though in terms of actually fixing things, drinking is unfortunately completely useless despite being such a great comfort. It's really one of life's great unfairnesses.

Yay me.

[As the sparks continue, he grows slightly less captivated by them, but he'll keep staring in idle wonderment rather than continue talking about more serious topics. Oh Hawke, if only you did the same.]

Lies. It's extremely useful right now. [...somehow.]

[That's okay, she totally gets it. Maker knows she hates it when people force her to talk about feelings. She's debated throwing herself off her own balcony to avoid it and considering the balcony here is into outer-space.... yeah. She'll drop it. Hopefully, she won't have to do any awkward roommate talks as well.]

True. Let's hope you either have an incredible stash of liquor or the bar will be back soon. Or else it might end up getting rough. For probably about half the ship. It's going to be a long week.

[Feelings!!! They suck!!! But Hawke is the best and he is happy she's dropping it. Shit. That's a feeling.]

I am not thinking past the end of this bottle. Maybe the next one. I'm good at short-term thinking.

[Spoken like that's something to be proud of.]

[Well. That's a relatable statement!]

I agree. Nothing good about long-term thinking anyway. It just leads to feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, and fuel for an existential crisis. Best to keep it in the moment.

Right! See, Hawke, this is why we're friends. You know exactly what I mean.

[Apparently they're friends! Is that a level-up chime in the distance? Nate doesn't know, he never plays video games.]

[Nathan Greatly Approves. Or something. She gives him a grin. Friends in a spot like this? Always a good thing. Plus Nate's a good bro who likes booze and bar fights so that puts him on her Good List.]

It's definitely my life philosophy. Thinking about the future, status, it's far too stressful. Why worry about it when you can have cold ale on a hot summer night in Lowtown?

So let's hope this ship isn't determined to make us think about the long-term.

[Wrong series installment, Hawke! But it's cool, he's from the wrong genre anyway.]

I don't know where Lowtown is but cold ale sounds awesome. You should have brought some cuz I've been here long enough that all of my stuff is warm.

[The first step to avoiding thinking about the long-term: not talking about thinking about the long-term.]

Lowtown is in Kirkwall back home and the Hanged Man is my favorite little haunt in the city. Smells like piss and there's always a fight but the ale is strong and cheap and the people are interesting. Which makes me nostalgic and charitable tonight. Give it here.

[She reaches over and presses a finger onto one of his bottles and the entire thing ices over.]

There. You'd fit right in at the Hanged Man.

[Oh right. He forgot she can do that, even though she literally just did it a few minutes ago.]

Sounds like my kinda place. Too bad it's back in your world and not here, with the bar going whoosh. Maybe we can rebuild and use it as a model.

[You're wasted buckaroo, it's fine.]

Oh, I like that idea. It could be all wood and rotting instead of medal just to make sure we get the right charm. Especially because I wouldn't bank on them allowing us to take a field trip back home.

Prooobably not. Why would anyone come back if they could visit home?

[He takes a frosty sip, contemplating it.]

Unless their home really sucked. Mine doesn't. I mean, I don't really think of myself as having a home, but my world is all right. There's cool stuff in it.

Met a guy who didn't want to go back. But then again that was when we were on the beach instead of partially made of glass so that might have given a bit of a false impression. My home is a shithole of a city but... it's home now. The closest to one I've ever had.

[It kinda has to be your home when you get made city Champion. She leans against the dog, who sight softly. Normally, she'd be jealous of Nate's state of inebriation but just looking at him makes her feel a little hungover.]

Yeah? What sort of cool stuff? I love cool stuff! I wish I dealt with more cool stuff instead of slavers and highwaymen.

It was sort of a bait and switch, huh.

[Which he had seen coming, honestly. Something too good to be true always is. There is always a catch. There's no such thing as a free alien lunch.]

Well, it's not hard to beat highwaymen. But I'm a treasure hunter for a living—I track down artifacts, retrace the steps of old explorers. Found a few lost cities.

[The talk of his raison d'etre actually seems to revive him a bit and make him slightly more sober.]

You're a-

[She gives him a once over and then waves her arms as if to erase her exclamation.]

No it fits perfectly. That's exactly what I would peg you as now that I think about it. I went treasure hunting once and ended up trapped in a cave for two weeks. [And down one sibling.] So I'm not exactly sure it's my calling but it was very adventure-y and great to tell stories about.

Basically, I'm hinting you should tell a story.

Well, that's not ideal.

[He went on a treasure hunt once and ended up trapped in a prison and down a sibling! How much they have in common.]

A story, huh? How do you feel about cursed gold?

Not at all. I'll never be able to stomach another deep mushroom again.

[Man they have so much to bond over! Too bad they also bond over NEVER SHARING FEELINGS.]

Isn't cursed artifacts the best sort of treasure story there is? It's quintessential. Let's hear it.

[Bonding over never sharing feelings is, like, triple bonding though. It counts for more.]

All right, all right. Soooo my wife had this archeology TV show—she wasn't my wife at the time, we'd never met before—and I basically conned her and her producers into funding an expedition to retrieve the buried-at-sea coffin of Sir Fr—uhhh, this really famous explorer. My ancestor.

[...sort of. Maybe.]

But! He actually faked his death, which I'd counted on, and left clues to El Dorado, the mythical city of gold. So my partner and me ditched her to go find it. Except it wasn't a city, it was just a huge fucking gold state, which is still pretty great.

Because I enjoy your company, I'm going to refrain from commenting on "conning your future wife and then ditching her" thing and go onto the adventure part of the story.

[She waves a hand because... dude. That's not something you say casually! Okay, it might be something she would say casually but then Aveline would yell at her and call her an ass. So. It's probably bad.]

And what happened? When you found the city, did you ransack it like a pirate gone mad? Or is it about the thrill of the chase?

Hey, it's not like I knew.

[At the most, he'd considered trying to get into her pants for a one-nighter. But really, he'd been far more focused on the trail of El Dorado.]

Not a city, remember. 'cept we did find the secret island it was on and it was kiiiind of a city? Had a lot of ruins. Bunch of Spanish explorers went there hundreds of years ago. Except you know what?

[He leans forward and speaks in a low, conspiratorial tone.]

They never left.

[Ooh. Eyebrows raised. Now that's the sort of exciting thing that she loves! Plus his tone makes for a good dramatic story. You're a good man for this Nathan Drake.]

Never left? If it was us, I'd say it sounds like something demon-y. Do you have demons where you're from?

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sketchycharacter - 2016-07-16 05:14 (UTC) - Expand

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