text; + action options

[sketchycharacter]

[The following is actually a series of three separate posts to the network; all three are posted in fairly quick succession, likely before anyone can reply to the first two, though they are open to comments.]

how do you make it so not everyone can read one of these things

[like thirty seconds later]

oh

[a couple of minutes later LOCKED FROM CERTAIN PEOPLE NAMED ELENA FISHER]

so a bunch of people use this system to pour their hearts out and get other people to do the same which usually seems weird to me. i mean just because you say it over the mid doesn't mean you won't run into people later and make it really weird and awkward. i don't know maybe that's just me.

except what the hell i'm pretty drunk right now so why the fuck not!

RIDDLE ME THIS, CREWMATES. pretend for a minute that you're a complete asshole who somehow got the most amazing woman in the world to marry you, fucked it up real fast like dropped a grenade on it bad BECAUSE you're a complete asshole, got her to take you back and start over and then fucked it up again.

what do you do? asking for a friend.

also the first person to make a suggestion that actually works can have some of my alcohol stash. everyone else can fuck off i'm not sharing.

[action options - feel free to go from a network thread to one of these]

[OPTION 1: DRUNK. Nate is pretty toasted as he wanders around the ship, but not so much than he has trouble getting around with just an occasional stumble. Alcohol tends to loosen his lips, so he'll gladly (well, not he's not real glad about anything right now) talk to anyone who makes the poor life decision to talk to him first.

[OPTION 2: DRUNKER. Jeez, he's getting to be a real mess now. Nate makes a trip to where the Mess Hall used to be so he can pour one out in honor of the lost bar. What a hideous waste of alcohol. Afterward, he visits the observation deck to drunkenly look at the stars, and will stay there.

[OPTION 3: DRUNKEST. Oh god he's so unhappy. Look at this complete wreck of a man who's making the observation deck a pretty unpleasant place to be. He is completely wasted. (Existing CR only for this option please—basically, if they've had at least one conversation, you're good.)]

Comments

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

that so.

so you think that the lady wont fall for the same tricks? usually reminding them from the good times works.

[sketchycharacter]

that's probably true but we got together right after running for our lives from cursed zombie things so repeating that isn't the best idea ever.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

now that's first date material.
speaking of dates. tried to take her on one? could do wonders.

[sketchycharacter]

i did actually. it was great.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

so take her to another one. get her nice gifts.
or you know.. go and make your point clear. be straightforward that you want her. i mean shes your wife right?

[sketchycharacter]

if she's not then the wedding was a huge con job
that's not the point
she knows i love her and we went on the date to start over and things still went to shit
so i don't think the usual tricks are gonna work
that's why i'm drunk

1/2

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

you mustve fucked up things real bad then ha

well. i dont know. have you tried saying sorry?? or ever considered moving on? theres plenty fish in the ocean.
or in outerspace in this case

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

also yr drunk writing is good

[sketchycharacter]

yes and no. she's the love of my life not a random girl i dated. i'm not moving on from her even if she moves on from me.

[Geez this guy is pathetic.]

thanks. but to be completely honest the autocorrect function helps a lot.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

[pathetic is an underestimation here. ]

what

dont tell me youre not one of those guys wholl show up to girls house while being drunk and then shoots her and her new boyfriend?

[sketchycharacter]

what? no, jesus
i would just never love again
that's all

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

oh thats even worse.

trust me. no lady wants to have someone as pathetic as that around.

[sketchycharacter]

if she decides she doesn't want me anymore it won't matter if no one else does

if she doesn't then that just reinforces her pattern of terrible taste in men

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

you've lost me here

you want her to take you back but also think that's a bad idea???

[sketchycharacter]

yeah pretty much
she can do better than me but i can't do better than her
it was probably a bad decision for her to marry me in the first place but i wasn't going to object

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

okay so.

im starting to see why she'd dumb you. you're pathetic. please tell me you at least have some money on you or how did you manage to woo her in the first place?

[sketchycharacter]

yeah i know
and i don't know
rugged good looks i guess
and i'm pretty good in bed

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

right. i can kinda get behind the last part?

[sketchycharacter]

what can i say i try hard

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

so maybe you could try and fuck her senseless or something to see if it works? women love it.

[sketchycharacter]

i wouldn't be opposed but unfortunately for me she is not a shallow person and expects more from the person who claims to love her
also i did it already

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

you say you did it already but it didn't work out?
I say you might not be that good after all

[sketchycharacter]

she's certainly had a lot of praise
it's just that dick isn't enough
she can buy a vibrator that's less of a jerk than i am