text; + action options

[sketchycharacter]

[The following is actually a series of three separate posts to the network; all three are posted in fairly quick succession, likely before anyone can reply to the first two, though they are open to comments.]

how do you make it so not everyone can read one of these things

[like thirty seconds later]

oh

[a couple of minutes later LOCKED FROM CERTAIN PEOPLE NAMED ELENA FISHER]

so a bunch of people use this system to pour their hearts out and get other people to do the same which usually seems weird to me. i mean just because you say it over the mid doesn't mean you won't run into people later and make it really weird and awkward. i don't know maybe that's just me.

except what the hell i'm pretty drunk right now so why the fuck not!

RIDDLE ME THIS, CREWMATES. pretend for a minute that you're a complete asshole who somehow got the most amazing woman in the world to marry you, fucked it up real fast like dropped a grenade on it bad BECAUSE you're a complete asshole, got her to take you back and start over and then fucked it up again.

what do you do? asking for a friend.

also the first person to make a suggestion that actually works can have some of my alcohol stash. everyone else can fuck off i'm not sharing.

[action options - feel free to go from a network thread to one of these]

[OPTION 1: DRUNK. Nate is pretty toasted as he wanders around the ship, but not so much than he has trouble getting around with just an occasional stumble. Alcohol tends to loosen his lips, so he'll gladly (well, not he's not real glad about anything right now) talk to anyone who makes the poor life decision to talk to him first.

[OPTION 2: DRUNKER. Jeez, he's getting to be a real mess now. Nate makes a trip to where the Mess Hall used to be so he can pour one out in honor of the lost bar. What a hideous waste of alcohol. Afterward, he visits the observation deck to drunkenly look at the stars, and will stay there.

[OPTION 3: DRUNKEST. Oh god he's so unhappy. Look at this complete wreck of a man who's making the observation deck a pretty unpleasant place to be. He is completely wasted. (Existing CR only for this option please—basically, if they've had at least one conversation, you're good.)]

Comments

[keelahselai]

I know, it's my biggest talent!

What did you...r friend do to screw up? the one you're asking for.

[sketchycharacter]

was a total asshole can't you read
i mean if you want a comprehensive list maybe make some popcorn first it'll take a while

[keelahselai]

there's a lot of subcategories to being an asshole. the kind you're being right now is probably different to the kind your friend was

I don't know what popcorn is, but pretend I made some already. shoot.

[sketchycharacter]

good point
wait hold up forget my issues
why don't you know what popcorn is

[keelahselai]

I'm an alien, remember?
...you're drunk, maybe you don't remember. well, I'm an alien. We don't have your weird human rituals

[sketchycharacter]

it's POPCORN. that should be a universal constant.

[keelahselai]

I think you're getting a bit off topic here. Just a little

Is popcorn food? It's food, isn't it

[sketchycharacter]

i don't care this is important

YES IT'S FOOD. it's the best food covered in butter and salt. what kind of hell planet do you come from that doesn't have popcorn.

[keelahselai]

Is it really?

No planet - I grew up in space. You'd be surprised how much food isn't available in space!

[sketchycharacter]

yes it's extremely important

what like just floating around? how did you not die
is it some kind of alien pys
pysiol
body thing

[keelahselai]

...in ships...
and in environmental suits - like space suits but smaller. We were in those all the time

[sketchycharacter]

you still have to have plenty of food to survive in ships in space and corn is a staple
i can't believe no one ever popped it for you
that's a crime

[keelahselai]

you know how I said we all wore space suits
it's hard to eat solid food in those, if you know what I mean

unless popping corn means liquidising it.

[sketchycharacter]

so you ate with what, feeding tubes? all the time?
that sounds gross and awful
the moira must be a step up for you

[keelahselai]

not quite... I carried straws everywhere.
but sure, in terms of food it's a pretty big improvement

...Just not in terms of most other things

[sketchycharacter]

i'm trying to think of what could be better in a space floating life and coming up with nothing
well
i guess not getting turned to glass is pretty good

[keelahselai]

not getting turned into the glass or being boarded by the people whose planet you broke by accident once. those are good.
but I can eat chocolate here and there's a tree that grows kittens, so it all balances out.

[...maybe that sarcasm doesn't carry by text. Oh well.]

I remember when this conversation was about marriage problems

[sketchycharacter]

[He's about to acknowledge her point but then]

what
there's a cat tree?!?!
you're fucking lying

[...sounds cool though.]

i remember that too but i'm pretty glad it isn't anymore

[keelahselai]

I'm not. it's in the garden, go and look!
...Actually, maybe it's not in bloom right now. I don't know how often cat trees bloom.
I still have my cat blanket, does that count?

[Look, some people here - space russians - came from some really weird places.]

And here I thought you wanted my good advice

[It probably wasn't going to be good, she's just nosy.]

[sketchycharacter]

maybe when i'm sober and can be sure i'm not hallucinating
and no it doesn't
also if you made a blanket out of cats you're a sick fuck

[He's never had a pet, but come on, they're cats.]

start giving some and i'll reconsider

I know what punctual tagging is, I swear

[keelahselai]

I didn't MAKE a blanket out of cats
It's genetically modified or something. I don't know, I got it third hand. It purrs and you charge it up in the microwave and

Look, it's really comfortable

and I can't give you advice if I don't know the problem. hint hint.

No worries!

[sketchycharacter]

that only makes it a little bit better just so you know
it's still kind of creepy
but as long as you didn't murder kittens for it that's fine

i thought i was pretty clear about the problem in my post
namely that i am the mayor of fuckupville population: me

[keelahselai]

I'm ok with being creepy as long as I'm warm. It was an easy choice.

Why don't I just be honest and tell you I'm just really nosy.
anyway, you're not screwing up on purpose because you're actually trying to hurt her, right? If that's not it, figuring out why would be a start. Or maybe you're just an idiot. I don't know, I'm just brainstorming

[sketchycharacter]

as long as you're at peace with your life choices

oh i already figured that out
no of fucking course i'm not, jesus
i am definitely an idiot though