thisavrou | audio | locked from Riptide

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audio | locked from Riptide

Okay, yeah, I know, bad timing Sideswipe, and we've got bigger problems, Sideswipe.

But... a lot of Not So Awesome stuff is going down with a friend of mine. And ... I...

[Some of the flippant nonchalance in his voice cracks. He goes quiet. This is really hard to admit, and yes, he KNOWS there's a lot going on right now. But it's been beyond him for a long time.]

[Too long.]

I don't know how to help. I wanna.

But I don't know how.

So if anyone's got a sec? Appreciate some feedback here. Y'know, anyone who isn't gonna yell at me for bringing this up right now. That'd be great.

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It... yeah. He was scared of Tarn, too. Way before this happened... really scared. Enough to tell me to keep away from him.

[He shrugs a bit, drawing himself in tighter. He doesn't know the details. He hadn't asked, because... well. He'd been shaken too. Much less than Riptide, but--]

Both, sort of. Told me not to look in a box, because there was something bad in it. Later he... freaked out.

More than he's ever done before. Something about a spine, and... it was moving. He thought.

... pretty sure somebody's in there. Or... something that was somebody.

Ah.

[It's a grim picture. Things that came through the mail made about as much sense as any of them arriving on the ship in the first place, but that didn't make their presence feel any less prophetic from time to time.]

Y'know... sometimes people yell and hide things because they're scared, like you said. But sometimes it's not because they're just scared for themselves, but scared for the person they're yelling at.

I think he wants to keep you out of trouble, kid.

... Yeah, I. I get that.

But he doesn't have to be. And -- and it's not about me! I'm fine! I'm not the one who ... who had all this scrap happen!

[No no no, don't start the waterworks, do not let yourself get emotional -- come on Sideswipe you can do this.]

[Despite his best efforts, though, there are a few cracks in his voice.]

So I gotta help, don't I? I'm fine... so I've... gotta help.

S'why I'm asking. 'Cause I'm scared for him too... but I don't... know what to do for someone who's been hurt this bad.

[There's a little part of Sans, the part of him that's reminded of Papyrus whenever he talks to Sideswipe, that physically aches to hear his voice break around the edges.]

Yeah, I know you're fine. [He says, genuinely. The last thing the kid needed was to have his confidence eroded by people pointing out just how obviously untrue that statement was. He would need all the confidence he could get, if this was as bad as it sounded.]

There are lots of ways to help. Sometimes, the best way? Is just... being normal. [He holds up his hands, as if aware of how much of a cop out that sounded.] Don't confuse that with doing nothing, either. Showing someone things can be normal again, that they can get through this and have their old self back? That's everything, kid.

Edited 2016-06-23 07:39 (UTC)

Be... normal? Like... act like nothing happened? Like nothing's different?

[Sorry, Sans. He's listening, he really is, but he can't help but sound a little incredulous.]

[It really does just sound like doing nothing.]

Just... keep trying to do movie nights and stuff?

Nah, nah. Not act like nothing happened. [For all that was his usual go-to, Sans had been around the block enough times to know how routinely avoidance backfired.] Like you're still his friend. Like you're still gonna be there. Like... yeah, like movie night.

And if he's having a bad day, y'know. You can be there. Everybody needs a little sunshine -- you can be that for him, man.

[Sans pauses for a second, thinking on that. On sunshine. Reminds him of something he read from the library, once.]

Have you ever heard that story about a bet between the wind and the sun?

Little ray of sunshine... cool. Maybe I should repaint myself yellow.

[He doesn't sound even remotely serious about that, though. Except for the first part. Maybe he can do the first part. It sounds easy enough.]

[Isn't he... trying that already? To an extent?]

[He frowns, shaking his head.]

Never heard it, nope.

[Well then maybe you aren't screwing up as bad as you seem to think you are, kiddo.]

Well, the wind and the sun were just chillin', you know. Kicking it. When they see a traveler walking down the road, wearing this jacket. Wind turns to the sun, all smug, and bets them that they could get the traveler to take off his jacket first. Sun's all, yeah whatever, buddy, we both know I'm gonna win but go for it.

Wind blows and blows and blows, trying their best to rip the jacket off the guy. But the more he blows, the tighter the traveler pulls the cloak around himself. So of course, Wind being the kind of person they are, gives up and figures it can't be done.

Sun comes along, cool as a cucumber, and just starts shining down on the guy. Real gentle, warmer and warmer, and sure 'nuff the traveler just takes off his cloak all on his own.

[Sans scratches at his skull, hoping that communicated his point whatsoever.]

Sometimes the best way to help someone into opening up is to make 'em comfortable, and let it be their call when they're ready. Does that make sense? [He waves a hand, chuckling softly.] Maybe not.

... heh. You sure know a lot of stories, dude.

[He doesn't say it to be insulting. In fact, he kind of sounds impressed.]

[It does make sense. But he doesn't really know if he's capable of doing it. If he has the ability to. Not that he doesn't want to. But--]

How do you do that? I mean. Yeah, the sunshine and keeping things normal stuff, but... how am I supposed to know if he's ready or not?

Does he just say so?

Eh, my hometown had a library and I pride myself on having very little to do.

[But he's smiling a little more genuinely now.]

How long have you known him?

So you... read stuff? Like a big... nerd?

[Okay that bit was more of a joke than the rest of it has been. That's a good sign, right?]

Since I got here. Few months I guess.

[It's sure not a bad sign. Sans leans in, whispering conspiratorially.]

Wanna know a big secret? [His voice hushes to a pronounced stage whisper.] I'm a huge nerd. Don't tell anybody.

[When he leans back again, it's with an even easier expression on his face.]

So you're still new friends. That's okay, y'know. Just means it's not gonna be as obvious when the time is right, but... [And here's where beating around the bush becomes less helpful. Embarrassing the kid while he's already down isn't his aim, but... Ah, well. It's a private conversation, at least.] Well, you've got feelings for him, right?

A huge nerd? Whoa. Man. Hold on. I dunno if we can be friends now. You're like -- the antiposite of cool.

[... it's up for debate whether he was trying to say 'antithesis' or 'opposite'. But this teasing is totally a good sign. So is the smug look on his face.]

Yeah, I guess so--

[Wellp. Good feelings gone. He doesn't blush, but the blue lights all over his paneling suddenly flare up like little suns.]

Um! Wh- Why would you -- think so??

[The teasing is great, and the blustering is cute, but Sans is buying exactly zero of it. Finger bones drumming on his desk thoughtfully, his eye sockets dim half lidded.]

Kid. C'mon. I don't got eyes, but I can see, y'feel me?

[OH MY GOD DAD STOP...]

[He fidgets. A lot. And ends up looking away with a hand picking at the back of his neck.]

... y'don't have to make it sound so... serious...

[You asked for his advice and everything, Red, you brought this on yourself.]

"Feelings" is serious now? [But he doesn't tease too much, not when the guy is obviously self conscious about it.] What're you afraid of, kiddo?

Um. Aren't they? I thought. They sort of were.

[He is floundering worse than an actual flounder.]

I.

Nothing. It's nothing, okay? Just forget about it right now.

[Aka: He doesn't need me bothering him with this right now.]

Heh... [The laugh comes out a little quieter, and a little kinder. Sympathetic, maybe.] It's okay, kid, it really is. I'll drop it. But I asked you for a reason, y'know?

Loving someone isn't a disadvantage.

Ughhhh... no, it's not.

And yeah, it is so.

[As if he's somehow aware of how contradictory those two statements are, he sort of sinks down where he sits, scrubbing his hands over his face.]

It's like -- literally the last thing I'm gonna bother him with right now? The guy's not okay! Like he needs me throwing that at him.

So nobody's gonna tell him. Not if I can help it.

Who said anything about throwing it at him?

[Sans shrugs, picking up a pen, sketching out a few notes in a pad as he speaks.]

Love doesn't have to mean romance. And it doesn't have to be a scary word. It means you care and it means you want him to get better, you want to help him. Nobody who didn't love someone would make a post like this. It's bigger than kisses and crushes.

It's a super power, kid. And it's how you help him. Just... being there, because it doesn't take a genius to know for a fact there's nowhere else you'd rather be.

[He's still scrubbing at his face while Sans talks. Not giving any indication he's actually heard. But... He couldn't say what. But something about it feels like it's breaking around him.]

[Like he's been so focused on Making Things Right, he really hasn't stopped to be anything other than "All Right" himself. Because that's who he is. The kid who isn't afraid of anything. The kid who never had a war to worry about or problems to get him down.]

[Nobody who didn't love someone would make a post like this.]

[... no one's ever really acknowledged it. That he could actually be doing the right thing.]

Doesn't really feel like one. Y'know? Just. Kinda feels stupid.

[His voice is muffled but if he picks his face up out of his folded arms, he's going to show off the waterworks.]

Feels kinda. Kind of useless.

I know it's selfish, dude, so don't say it. Feeling like scrap when nothing bad's even happened on my end. But. Oh well. I guess.

Somebody you love's having a bad time. Like, a colossally bad time.

[Sans' voice softens, trying to choose his words as carefully as possible without losing whatever casual air he can retain. Something tells him bearing down on seriousness was a fast track to making the kid cut and run.]

Sounds to me like something's happening to you.

But that.

That makes it about me, man. Doesn't it? And that's ... not what I'm trying to figure out here.

[As much as he would love to have some time to work through the scrap bouncing around in his own head, now just doesn't seem like the time.]

[He's not the one who died, after all.]

[The two couldn't be less separate, to Sans' mind. It's hard to know how much to push. His pause is longer, still sketching something.]

You want to find out how to help him, right?

[For the first time since this conversation started, he's peeking up over the side of his arm.]

Well. Yeah. That's... kinda the whole reason for this post.

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