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Okay, yeah, I know, bad timing Sideswipe, and we've got bigger problems, Sideswipe.

But... a lot of Not So Awesome stuff is going down with a friend of mine. And ... I...

[Some of the flippant nonchalance in his voice cracks. He goes quiet. This is really hard to admit, and yes, he KNOWS there's a lot going on right now. But it's been beyond him for a long time.]

[Too long.]

I don't know how to help. I wanna.

But I don't know how.

So if anyone's got a sec? Appreciate some feedback here. Y'know, anyone who isn't gonna yell at me for bringing this up right now. That'd be great.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So you... read stuff? Like a big... nerd?

[Okay that bit was more of a joke than the rest of it has been. That's a good sign, right?]

Since I got here. Few months I guess.

[It's sure not a bad sign. Sans leans in, whispering conspiratorially.]

Wanna know a big secret? [His voice hushes to a pronounced stage whisper.] I'm a huge nerd. Don't tell anybody.

[When he leans back again, it's with an even easier expression on his face.]

So you're still new friends. That's okay, y'know. Just means it's not gonna be as obvious when the time is right, but... [And here's where beating around the bush becomes less helpful. Embarrassing the kid while he's already down isn't his aim, but... Ah, well. It's a private conversation, at least.] Well, you've got feelings for him, right?

A huge nerd? Whoa. Man. Hold on. I dunno if we can be friends now. You're like -- the antiposite of cool.

[... it's up for debate whether he was trying to say 'antithesis' or 'opposite'. But this teasing is totally a good sign. So is the smug look on his face.]

Yeah, I guess so--

[Wellp. Good feelings gone. He doesn't blush, but the blue lights all over his paneling suddenly flare up like little suns.]

Um! Wh- Why would you -- think so??

[The teasing is great, and the blustering is cute, but Sans is buying exactly zero of it. Finger bones drumming on his desk thoughtfully, his eye sockets dim half lidded.]

Kid. C'mon. I don't got eyes, but I can see, y'feel me?

[OH MY GOD DAD STOP...]

[He fidgets. A lot. And ends up looking away with a hand picking at the back of his neck.]

... y'don't have to make it sound so... serious...

[You asked for his advice and everything, Red, you brought this on yourself.]

"Feelings" is serious now? [But he doesn't tease too much, not when the guy is obviously self conscious about it.] What're you afraid of, kiddo?

Um. Aren't they? I thought. They sort of were.

[He is floundering worse than an actual flounder.]

I.

Nothing. It's nothing, okay? Just forget about it right now.

[Aka: He doesn't need me bothering him with this right now.]

Heh... [The laugh comes out a little quieter, and a little kinder. Sympathetic, maybe.] It's okay, kid, it really is. I'll drop it. But I asked you for a reason, y'know?

Loving someone isn't a disadvantage.

Ughhhh... no, it's not.

And yeah, it is so.

[As if he's somehow aware of how contradictory those two statements are, he sort of sinks down where he sits, scrubbing his hands over his face.]

It's like -- literally the last thing I'm gonna bother him with right now? The guy's not okay! Like he needs me throwing that at him.

So nobody's gonna tell him. Not if I can help it.

Who said anything about throwing it at him?

[Sans shrugs, picking up a pen, sketching out a few notes in a pad as he speaks.]

Love doesn't have to mean romance. And it doesn't have to be a scary word. It means you care and it means you want him to get better, you want to help him. Nobody who didn't love someone would make a post like this. It's bigger than kisses and crushes.

It's a super power, kid. And it's how you help him. Just... being there, because it doesn't take a genius to know for a fact there's nowhere else you'd rather be.

[He's still scrubbing at his face while Sans talks. Not giving any indication he's actually heard. But... He couldn't say what. But something about it feels like it's breaking around him.]

[Like he's been so focused on Making Things Right, he really hasn't stopped to be anything other than "All Right" himself. Because that's who he is. The kid who isn't afraid of anything. The kid who never had a war to worry about or problems to get him down.]

[Nobody who didn't love someone would make a post like this.]

[... no one's ever really acknowledged it. That he could actually be doing the right thing.]

Doesn't really feel like one. Y'know? Just. Kinda feels stupid.

[His voice is muffled but if he picks his face up out of his folded arms, he's going to show off the waterworks.]

Feels kinda. Kind of useless.

I know it's selfish, dude, so don't say it. Feeling like scrap when nothing bad's even happened on my end. But. Oh well. I guess.

Somebody you love's having a bad time. Like, a colossally bad time.

[Sans' voice softens, trying to choose his words as carefully as possible without losing whatever casual air he can retain. Something tells him bearing down on seriousness was a fast track to making the kid cut and run.]

Sounds to me like something's happening to you.

But that.

That makes it about me, man. Doesn't it? And that's ... not what I'm trying to figure out here.

[As much as he would love to have some time to work through the scrap bouncing around in his own head, now just doesn't seem like the time.]

[He's not the one who died, after all.]

[The two couldn't be less separate, to Sans' mind. It's hard to know how much to push. His pause is longer, still sketching something.]

You want to find out how to help him, right?

[For the first time since this conversation started, he's peeking up over the side of his arm.]

Well. Yeah. That's... kinda the whole reason for this post.

Heh, yeah, I got the idea. [He sighs, setting his pencil down.] I think before you can help him, you gotta realize it's not just about him.

If it was, he wouldn't be scared of getting you involved.

[And here we see the proud Autobot teen swipe his hand across his optics, trying to look tough.]

Then. I gotta show him he doesn't have to be scared of that.

Right? That has to happen before anything?

[It's very intimidating. Really. But Sans looks a little skeptical, and not out of doubting Sideswipe's toughness.]

I mean... I guess? Why, what are you thinking?

[He's got a Bad Feeling.]

[Don't worry, Snas. Sideswipe has less than 0 ideas right now. Which is probably why he hasn't run off to do something stupid yet.]

I don't know! Aside from... saying words!

[Visibly relieved -- an impressive feat, considering his static expression -- Sans sinks down a little lower in his chair.]

Saying words is good. But, y'know... remember what I said. About being there, n' about waiting, n' about the sunshine thing.

I know it sounds crazy now, and you don't really gotta believe me, but when he's ready? I'm pretty sure you're gonna know.

... Right. Be there. Wait. Act like normal.

[He settles his head back down on his folded arms.]

If... he freaks out again... what do I do then?

Ride it out. Like you said, you're pretty tough. [Sans looks as if he genuinely believes that, too.] If you asks you to leave him alone, listen, but y'know... don't stop buggin' him to hang out.

There's something kinda reassuring about being nagged about small stuff, y'know?

Edited 2016-06-26 19:46 (UTC)

What, really? You like getting nagged?

You don't seem like the type, dude.

[There's an aching fondness in Sans' eye sockets, for all he doesn't seem to be looking at anything at all.]

Well... lemme tell ya, when you're lost in a fog and you haven't moved from one spot in 72 hours, it can be... nice to have someone pushing at you to stop being lazy. Even if that's not the reason you're sitting there.

[He's quiet for a few beats, still smiling at nothing at all, before shrugging it away. Anyway.]

Just be you, Red. You're more than enough exactly as you are, even if it might not feel like it.

[He doesn't get it. Why would you sit in the same place for that long. What good does that do, if it's not laziness?]

[He doesn't ask, though. It doesn't seem like the right time.]

You didn't snap at them for it? Cause I might've.

... okay. I'll... give it a try.

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