audio; a very important statement for the entire crew

[skelepun]

[Solemn silence reigns for the first few moments of the broadcast. A shuffle of papers, a clearing of his throat -- or technically, a very good impersonation of it. There's no throat to clear. Anyway.]

Okay, so. I know there's been a lot of back and forth lately, kids. And I don't wanna add to the tension, but as long as we're ripping off band aids? I figure there's no time like the present.

[Another deep breath. Clearly, this is weighing heavily on the guy.]

I'm gonna say a few words that'll mean a lot to you guys. Bran. Oatmeal. Raisins. Words that should never even brush against the word muffin. And yet every Saturday, seems like those are the only muffins I see. I'm not gonna point fingers or anything. I dunno if the blame lies with the people taking the decent pastries or the persons allowing those ingredients to infect perfectly good muffins in the first place, but it's a tragic miscarriage of judgment and for the safety of the crew, I think it's important we all address the massive, raisin dotted elephant in the room.

I'm mean, jeez, guys. There are kids on this ship. What if they mistake them for chocolate chips? We're all responsible if we do nothing. Get it together, Moira.

[Another deep breath. He's said his peace. When he speaks again, it's as if a completely different person is grinning into the mic.]

And hey, as long as we're all here, feel free to air your various grievances too. Y'know, to save the Captains their bandwidth. Let it all out.

Comments

[skelepun]

[No/no, please and thank you okay??]

you gotta get some other friends, MTT. i don't think i'm the best audience for this, cool and awesome as my bro is.

[mttbrandlegs]

OH DON'T BE THAT WAY!! I HAVE PLENTY OF FRIENDS I TELL ABOUT PAPYRUS!!!

[Like...um. Alphys!! And, ehhh...Frisk? Frisk knows! He's bad at this, don't judge.]

ANYWAY!! I WOULDN'T FIRE YOU FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR BROTHER, REALLY. YOU'RE DOING A MARVELOUS JOB!!

even if what you said before was rude.

[skelepun]

[Him? Judge? Neeeeveeer.]

well if you're singin' the big guy's praises, i really can't fault you too much.

but cut a guy some slack sometimes, pal, you keep reminding me that he's not fourteen and then i remember how old that makes me and i like to limit my existential crises to once per day.

[mttbrandlegs]

AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER, DARLING!! DON'T FRET SO MUCH OVER IT!

[Says the robot who literally considers his age to be "fabulous."

Buuut...that said. Now you got him curious, Sans. He has to ask.]

HOW OLD IS PAPYRUS? :O I DON'T PLAN TO DO ANYTHING UNTOWARD, I ASSURE YOU!!! JUST WONDERING~

[skelepun]

[Somewhere deep in the bowels of his room, Sans is laughing.]

he's twenty, you're cool, man. and i'm pretty sure he decided he was the big brother when he hit his first growth spurt, so don't sweat it. ;)

[mttbrandlegs]

AWWW~!! I COULDN'T EVER IMAGINE HIM BEING SHORTER THAN YOU!!

[Wow just go there, right MTT? He doesn't mean it in a bad way. It's just that the skeleton brothers have such different heights, and imagining Papyrus that small is unnecessarily cute.

Oh but 20, huh? He can work with that number~]

[skelepun]

[Wound him right to his core, MTT.]

oh, trust me. pap was a PROFOUND shrimp once upon a time.

[mttbrandlegs]

[Please. You said he couldn't change his own batteries you charlatan.

Maybe...maybe Mettaton shouldn't think it's cute to imagine a younger Papyrus, but he can't help himself. He has no mental filter with how much he digs the guy.]

HAHA!! I'M GLAD HE GREW UP INTO SUCH A HANDSOME MONSTER DESPITE HIS PREVIOUS DIMINUTIVE STATURE!!! ;)

[skelepun]

hehe, yeah, he shot up like a beanpole. did i ever tell you about how he used to wear clothes two sizes two small just to make himself look taller.

... i mean, i guess he still kinda does that.

[mttbrandlegs]

WHAT????

THAT'S AN ADORABLE REASON TO WEAR SMALL CLOTHES!! I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST HIS THING!! WELL I SUPPOSE IT'S STILL HIS THING BUT OH MY GOODNESS CUTE!! <3

I HAVE TO TAKE HIM SHOPPING WHILE I STILL CAN, I'D LOVE TO SUIT HIM UP! ;) DO YOU THINK HE WOULD GO FOR THAT??

[MTT no.]

[skelepun]

a personal shopping excursion with the MTT?

i think he might be able to muster some enthusiasm. maybe.

[mttbrandlegs]

OH YES, THAT IS ALWAYS AN HONOR AND A PLEASURE!! ;) SINCE I'M JUST SO LIKABLE!! BESIDES, I THINK HE WOULD BE OK WITH ME TALKING ABOUT MYSELF, MORESO THAN ALPHYS EVEN!!

[He's fronting a little. He still gets excited having someone he likes like him in return. Nerd.]

[skelepun]

just don't do anything i wouldn't do. ;)