audio; a very important statement for the entire crew

[skelepun]

[Solemn silence reigns for the first few moments of the broadcast. A shuffle of papers, a clearing of his throat -- or technically, a very good impersonation of it. There's no throat to clear. Anyway.]

Okay, so. I know there's been a lot of back and forth lately, kids. And I don't wanna add to the tension, but as long as we're ripping off band aids? I figure there's no time like the present.

[Another deep breath. Clearly, this is weighing heavily on the guy.]

I'm gonna say a few words that'll mean a lot to you guys. Bran. Oatmeal. Raisins. Words that should never even brush against the word muffin. And yet every Saturday, seems like those are the only muffins I see. I'm not gonna point fingers or anything. I dunno if the blame lies with the people taking the decent pastries or the persons allowing those ingredients to infect perfectly good muffins in the first place, but it's a tragic miscarriage of judgment and for the safety of the crew, I think it's important we all address the massive, raisin dotted elephant in the room.

I'm mean, jeez, guys. There are kids on this ship. What if they mistake them for chocolate chips? We're all responsible if we do nothing. Get it together, Moira.

[Another deep breath. He's said his peace. When he speaks again, it's as if a completely different person is grinning into the mic.]

And hey, as long as we're all here, feel free to air your various grievances too. Y'know, to save the Captains their bandwidth. Let it all out.

Comments

[dislocked]

[ it's a feat for anyone to sound / look threatening while their font is in comic sans

but he did it

and bucky's vaguely certain his questions will lead to answers he doesn't really want to know the answers to

but he figures he's seen Some Things and what's wrong with a seeing Some More Things, right... ]

Where does it go? [ No one in the history of anything has probably meant that question as literally as Bucky Barnes is meaning it now. Then, ] If you don't mind me asking.

[skelepun]

[Oh, that's right. Humans were really preoccupied with food moving through them, weren't they?]

don't mind at all, as long as you tell me all about where your food goes. diagrams preferred.