thisavrou | audio; a very important statement for the entire crew

[Solemn silence reigns for the first few moments of the broadcast. A shuffle of papers, a clearing of his throat -- or technically, a very good impersonation of it. There's no throat to clear. Anyway.]

Okay, so. I know there's been a lot of back and forth lately, kids. And I don't wanna add to the tension, but as long as we're ripping off band aids? I figure there's no time like the present.

[Another deep breath. Clearly, this is weighing heavily on the guy.]

I'm gonna say a few words that'll mean a lot to you guys. Bran. Oatmeal. Raisins. Words that should never even brush against the word muffin. And yet every Saturday, seems like those are the only muffins I see. I'm not gonna point fingers or anything. I dunno if the blame lies with the people taking the decent pastries or the persons allowing those ingredients to infect perfectly good muffins in the first place, but it's a tragic miscarriage of judgment and for the safety of the crew, I think it's important we all address the massive, raisin dotted elephant in the room.

I'm mean, jeez, guys. There are kids on this ship. What if they mistake them for chocolate chips? We're all responsible if we do nothing. Get it together, Moira.

[Another deep breath. He's said his peace. When he speaks again, it's as if a completely different person is grinning into the mic.]

And hey, as long as we're all here, feel free to air your various grievances too. Y'know, to save the Captains their bandwidth. Let it all out.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sounds like it! Is there no sense of order around here? Raisins and bran just dispersed freely over the ship? Sounds like you people are bordering on total anarchy.

every day is a constant struggle, my friend. every day.

and you're in it with the rest of us now, pal. my condolences.

Ah, well, of course. I had thought being kidnapped and trapped on a spaceship full of robots and weird-looking mammals and who knows what else was too good to be true.

[Nick that's rude]

oh yeah, that's how it works here. debut nice and pretty, make you feel like you're in a fish outta water story, then, welp. suddenly you're in a jump suit mopping up robo-puke.

Robots can puke?!

[That is not something he ever wanted to hear.]

anything that dreams it can puke it. where's your sense of wonder, pal?

Wonder is not the word I would use there. I mean, seriously, what would they even puke? Oil? Antifreeze? Actual metal chunks?

i don't like to speculate, personally. you speculate, someone might be inclined to correct you, and i prefer a state of perpetual ignorance.

You know what, while I would normally be inclined to disagree, I think I can see the merits of ignorance in this case.

it's a beautiful thing, pal. highly recommended. i've give you a pamphlet but that promotes the spread of free information and goes against my beliefs. hands are tied.

Too bad! Guess I'll just have to figure it out on my own. ...Or I won't!

sound life choices, pal. ;)

I like to think I'm pretty good at those.

[He actually really isn't but anyway.]

But, hey, thanks for suggesting it to begin with.

audio; a very important statement for the entire crew

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