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[After Miller has gotten back from the station, helping Liquid (much to David's irritation) and assisting in a Bucky rescue. He had immediately had taken a shower and made sure his glasses were perfectly intact. But then? He made it to his room.]

[And this is the most exhausted sounding audio post he can probably make.]

Could someone bring me some new blankets and sheets for my bed on Nomo deck? It's #007. Apparently in my short time at the station, my husky saw fit to fill my bed with her small dogs. [And then to assure the few parties he knows will be concerned.] She's fine. They're fine. [It's just a mess.]

Apologies to my roommates. I'll have it cleaned up quickly. [He's been very on top of cleaning up after her. He's fussy enough to do this. But at the moment? After the prison? A little overwhelmed at the moment.]

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Those kids are always going to be trouble, aren't they.

[A statement rather than a question. He nods and enters as he's invited.]

What about?

[He takes a drink of the coffee first, and sits on his bed as if he weighs eighty pounds more than he actually does.]

A couple of weeks ago I slept with Big Boss. Didn't mention it because... I didn't think it needed to be. Needed to get some tension out and he told me he didn't look at me any differently than he used to.

[And for someone that didn't want to offer that body up, what was left of it, out of concern of being rejected? It had meant something.]

Also didn't mention it because Jim came in and caught us in a more compromising position than we would have preferred so the Boss might have tranquilized him in the hallway.

[When Ocelot enters the room, there are several things Miller might want to tell him. ...This was not anywhere on that list. Guess when he asked John if he and Miller had reconciled, saying they had was clearly an understatement. Not that he'd expect John to share this kind of information.]

It.. still didn't need to be. [Was it any of Ocelot's business if the two were rekindling their old relationship? Or even just having a fling?] Why are you telling me?

Nah. Didn't need to be. But I thought I'd tell you.

[Sometimes he resents what both Boss's must see in him. Even if Ishmael slept with him, to him Kaz will always be his untrustworthy subcommander. The one who does the wrong things for the right reasons, or does the right things for the wrong reasons. Whichever. A screw up, either way, even when his ideas are good. To Ahab? Ahab might have some of the other's memories. But what is he to him? Most of what he actually saw out of Miller on a personal leve was helpless rage, all fire and grit. He can only imagine the impression that made. And Ocelot? Gets the luck of an image painted in unblemished loyalty, no matter how poor his decisions are. What they eventually lead to. So he knows that he can't compete with that.]

[Men hear what they want to hear. And Ocelot has a very pretty voice to say all the right things in.]

[To be honest he's been a little jealous. Not just of Ocelot being favored, but what John gets there as well. That unrepentant adoration. Something that he never hoped to have or understand, not until the moment that David looked at him in a way that made his chest tight. With such intense respect he couldn't imagine how in his life he ever managed to deserve that. But in the end, he had decided to be honest because he'd demanded the information from the other himself when he'd seen his marks. Ocelot hadn't, but he'd offered it anyway.]

And I wanted to show you the dogs. [That bit is true, too.]

[Ocelot smiles a bit.]

You'd make a lousy intelligence officer. Better stick to running things.

[In intel it was always about having more information than the other guy. In Ocelot's case, that included knowing more than his own colleagues or even his bosses. How to gather that information and how to use it has put him where he is today. Very likely, he'd be dead, otherwise.]

So then what? Was it a one time thing or is there something more between the two of you?

There's nothing as secure as it used to be.

[Before Miller made his mistake. Admittedly, he was never warned about Zero. He just heard "make the world one" and saw the chance to make a home for the MSF, this new makeshift family of his, and he went for it. It's not the first time a close friend lied to Big Boss. But who it was, the end results, made all the difference.]

[No, he can never have back what they were. Even if, when he gets home, he contacts Big Boss immediately in whatever way he can and settles whatever miscommunication they have.]

[As for secrets... Miller's keeping plenty. Half because it's not his place to tell. And half because he wants to figure out how to keep them all alive first. Enough visions of the future, enough signs of a downward, miserable spiral. Take Cipher out of the mix first, then he can talk Big Boss out of dehumanizing his new nation.]

[Time always feels like it's running out though.]

[Onto the matter at hand.] He's not the only one I've been seeing on and off anyway. The English tailor, too, even if it's just been spending time together. So... I don't know.

[Probably? He can't answer that.]

[Miller is right about that. Nothing in the world is truly secure anymore. Or very few things manage to be. Ocelot can find out just about anything--he's good--but even Ocelot can't locate Zero anymore. That man is completely in the wind. Still, eventually, all things are found, including missing men on their death bed.

As for the status between Miller and the men in his love life, Ocelot nods in understanding. In other words, it's still complicated.]

You're not tied down unless you want to be.

[That's how Ocelot goes through life, but he knows it doesn't work for everyone.]

And even if you think of yourself as broken, you're still a man. [And men should be men on and off the battlefield.] Nothing wrong with getting a little action in the bedroom.

[He's tied down. Though not by a conventional relationship. Not something he can really talk to Ocelot about, though. Not when it could produce a conflict of interests. His end goal is similar, now. But he's far more determined to keep from dragging people down into hell with him.]

[He grunts, though, to the second observation.] It's a matter of who I'm willing to let get close enough to break me more.

I wonder if me and Ahab are a little alike in that. But if it's the case, it's a big responsibility placed on your shoulders.

[And he knows Big Boss is broken in his own way. He was there for years, trying to patch him together. Doing his best. But he just ushered him down his path to being a tyrant. Either way, he's suspecting they're the only people Ocelot would care about breaking more. Even if he knows this, he doesn't trust Ocelot's sense of detachment.]

[Again, the cowboy is a bit amused by his comrade. Sometimes, he thinks Miller hasn't got the grit for the line of work they're in. Or maybe that's because his own training was given to him by Spetznaz. They're very good at making sure their soldiers aren't easily broken.]

You've got a tender heart. Don't let it get used against you.

[Miller gets attached to people in a way that might be considered a liability to a man like Ocelot. Still...]

Ahab is the same way, I think.

[So yes, he and Ahab probably have that in common.]

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