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[CLOSE UP on Sideswipe's dumb face. He's got his head propped up on his hands, lying on the floor of the observation deck, feet kicking in the air. Honestly, he just looks bored.]

Soooo...

What is there to do on this stupid ship? I mean, you guys don't even have the movie channels! Or like, video games, except on these comm things.

[He holds up a hand, shifting to rest on his other elbow. The hand is... moving like he's making it talk.]

But Sideswipe, there's a whole planet you could go hang out on! It's super cool with giant flying monsters!

Oh, yeah, I know. It's awesome. But, apparently, you make one lame choice and you're "grounded".

[Why yes there are air quotes.]

So what's a bot to do around here?

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Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time! Like a cowboy movie!

[A huff.]

Nobody died. And Riptide's arm is already reattached.

Wait, someone lost an arm?

[Any joke he's about to make about loose wires, or taking something too literally is lost in the face of Sideswipe treating that statement like it's nothing.]

Yeah, it snapped off. But it was okay enough that they could put it back on him again.

Plus, I mean, he's from the war. He's fine!

[Anyone who'd been in the big war clearly was capable of shrugging off a missing limb.]

Sounds like we have something in common.

[Similar missing limb, similar circumstances. He uses it to wave, a thing he doesn't point out often. On the other hand, he's going to keep the motives for the Clone Wars to himself for the time being.]

What war was that?

Wait, your arm...?

[Sorry, bro, that's all he's going to pick up on. No one ever said Sideswipe was brilliant.]

[The question just earns a shrug.]

The war -- oh, right. You're human, so... you probably don't know. Anyways, Megatron, this guy, took over a lot of stuff on Cybertron and basically tried to kill everyone and everything that wasn't on his team.

Pretty nasty.

Lost it in the war back home.

[It's a casual shrug, one he wouldn't give many people normally, had they not been...well, mostly machine and with a relatively matching piece themselves. Loss is rarely a thing he's able to be flippant about, but here, the tone is easy enough to get lost in. And it's a sight better than worrying about back home ever other second.

He laughs out loud at the likeness.]

Very imposing. So...if he "tried," does that mean he lost, or--?

Whoa...

They couldn't put it back on?

[He sounds somewhere between amazed and upset by this. Mostly because, it's never occurred to him humans couldn't just shove their limbs back together. He almost apologizes, but cuts himself off, settling for rubbing at the back of his neck.]

Yeah. Kinda. I mean, Optimus killed him, but... there weren't a whole lot of us left afterward.

I think. There's more of us now? But. That all happened like, way before me.

Humans don't really work like that?

[He's unsure if Sideswipe honestly means that, but he sounds upset enough that it must be serious. If he's anything like Threepio going on about how much he doesn't understand human "behavior," if he's not "programmed" for anatomy, that may very well not be a thing he understands.]

Cuts, sure, even if they sometimes scar. [It's said with a shrug and a general motion to the angry red line over his right eye.] But it's not as easy as popping an arm back into the right socket or soldering wires together. If it was...

[He'd be a good 75% more reckless and rash than he already is. Consequences seriously be damned if there's no visible mark of them.]

Machinery makes sense. Something organic tends to be a little too heavy on luck.

[There's a pause, and he leans into the video.]

Who's the one grounding you anyway?

[Who holds authority over a sentient, kriffing-huge machine?]

... Oh. I thought that was just... decoration. Like the designs on us bots. Is it seriously a scar?

[Because suddenly Sideswipe sounds a good 900% more interested in this. Which may or may not be a good thing.]

I mean, I guess, sometimes bots during the war couldn't be repaired and all, but... I just sort of thought humans were like us. Put the right parts back in and everything works out.

[He shifts a bit.]

Megatron. Basically, the one guy responsible for all those bots not being able to be repaired.

He killed half the planet. At least.

Wait, wait, hold it. You fight a war against a guy and then you let him ground you?

[A murderous droid murders other droids, but only reprimands others? Sure, makes a ton of sense.]

I'd say that's pretty kriffed "authority."

[~~He is the best influence.~~]

I didn't let him. He's ... scary, all right? I didn't fight the war, I just heard about it. And him.

[HUFF HUFF HUFF.]

[Waaaait what. Was that a swear. Oh man, did he just hear a swear?]

I mean, it's not like I'm going to listen... But still. Terrifying.

All the more reason not to listen to him. He doesn't get to make your decisions for you, right?

Right.

You wanna bust out with me?

[Let's take a moment to consider this. 1) he's just encouraged a giant droid to disobey orders. 2) The orders are dubious anyway. 3) Could the whales be rounded up and led to safety?]

Hells. Why not?

I'll get the rope.

[AW YEAH HECK YEAH, FINALLY A FRIEND WITH GOOD TASTE IN FUN.]

Edited 2016-03-22 02:15 (UTC)

You're on.

...As long as I get to meet this guy who thinks he can ground you later, huh?

[Look, he looks out for his own, alright? Even if they are a good twice his height and wouldn't need the help.]

Oh, dude. You want his number?

Cause I don't think he knows about you yet. You prank-calling him would be like.

The best thing ever.

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