video;

[redshitlord]

[CLOSE UP on Sideswipe's dumb face. He's got his head propped up on his hands, lying on the floor of the observation deck, feet kicking in the air. Honestly, he just looks bored.]

Soooo...

What is there to do on this stupid ship? I mean, you guys don't even have the movie channels! Or like, video games, except on these comm things.

[He holds up a hand, shifting to rest on his other elbow. The hand is... moving like he's making it talk.]

But Sideswipe, there's a whole planet you could go hang out on! It's super cool with giant flying monsters!

Oh, yeah, I know. It's awesome. But, apparently, you make one lame choice and you're "grounded".

[Why yes there are air quotes.]

So what's a bot to do around here?

Comments

voice;

[straightouttacarbonite]

I have no idea what that means. So not the captains of this ship, or anyone on the planet?

voice;

[redshitlord]

Nah, Megatron. Hold on.

[There's a pause, and then scribbling sounds. Before...]



Him!

voice; ohmygod i'm dying

[straightouttacarbonite]

[This clarifies matters less than you might expect, strange large droid.]

I guess you wouldn't wanna disagree with a face like that...

voice; 8D

[redshitlord]

Nooooo way.

I am not exaggerating the teeth. Just sayin'.

voice;

[straightouttacarbonite]

So what'd you do?

voice;

[redshitlord]

Oh. Me, Riptide and Tailgate roped one of those flying whale things down on the planet.

And then we rode it for a while until it kicked us off.

voice;

[straightouttacarbonite]

....Wow.

voice;

[redshitlord]

I know! Right? Awesome.

voice;

[straightouttacarbonite]

I'm surprised they got you back out.

voice;

[redshitlord]

Tailgate and I could walk, and Riptide too.

voice;

[straightouttacarbonite]

I have to ask, how did you think it was gonna end up?

voice;

[redshitlord]

Ever seen a cowboy movie?

Kinda like that. But with us, and a space whale.

voice;

[straightouttacarbonite]

I haven't, so that doesn't really clear it up.

[Because what's a cow, much less a cowboy?]

voice;

[redshitlord]

Okay, so they're like, these guys who go out and ride around and round up cows. Big animals on four legs that don't... really seem to do much except stampede over each other when they get scared. But these guys have to keep them in line and take them places.

It's pretty cool, you should watch 'em sometime.

voice

[aminerproblem]

[Have an unsettlingly villainous chuckle.]

The teeth and drool are a nice touch.

voice

[redshitlord]

[SHDFJKH;SDFDSJ]

[SHIT SHIT SHIT ABORT]

...



I still say you can't ground me for real!

[aminerproblem]

[Does Sideswipe really want to play this game?]

Ah, but look at how artistically productive you are when not causing trouble!

[redshitlord]

Oh, yeah, sure, but just wait until I'm really bored.

Maybe your door's gonna get real artistic, bucket-head.

[aminerproblem]

Bored already? I'm sorry to hear that.

[He's not.]

Magnus can always keep you occupied with an in-depth review of the Autobot Code. Ten thousand pages makes for quite the subject of study.

[redshitlord]

...




Magnus?

[aminerproblem]

Ultra Magnus, yes. You can ask Tailgate about his course. He's quite the instructor for young Autobots.

[redshitlord]

"Course". "Instructor".

See, you keep saying these things like you expect I'm actually gonna listen.

[aminerproblem]

[Magnus is going to have a field day with this one.]

Of course you will. Decepticon methods of discipline are far harsher - it would be rather unfortunate to need to tear you down over something so trivial.

[redshitlord]

Maybe you didn't check the badge, tin can.

I'm not a Decepticon. So, I don't take orders from one.

[aminerproblem]

[Ominously:]

You're always welcome to disobey and see what happens. You have been given more than your fair share of warning.

[And then he simply cuts the line. There's nothing like a good dramatic exit to punctuate your vague threats of rigorously painful learning.]