video;

[ruffboi]

[The video feed turns on, although it’s at a bit of an odd angle - you see the video moving as though whoever is holding it has no idea it’s on. You get a shaky glimpse of the ground, an arm, a hat, before it’s held up. The picture is half obscured by a large thumb, but you can still make out two faces - an elf with a pointy hat and a human with magnificent sideburns. It re-adjusts as someone pushes it from the side to center it more on the elf. ]

I don’t think it’s working - wait - Uh, hail and well met, my good - Whoever you are. My name is Magnus Burnsides, and this is my companion -

Uh, that’s San-- Ysandra Lyee? That’s my name. The Y is silent, my good whoever you ares. [He’s not going to specify which Y. Or where they are, because this is audio and they’re silent, obviously.]

[Whispers. Audibly.] Oh, were we doing fake names? Cool. Nevermind. I accidentally said the wrong name. My actual name is Leeman Kessler.

[Whispering, also audibly.] You think, you think It’s a great idea to just roll up in here and tell them our names? Yeah, cool, good well-thought out plan, hey thanks for the kidnapping, real great to meet ya’ homies, lovin’ it here. Nice weather we’re having today in this cool new reality, here’s my real actual identity. Go nuts!

[Covering the entire picture with his palm as he continues to whisper. Not at all covering the mic.] Okay, okay, well, I think they bought it. Not that I get where knowing our names would get them. Uh, anyway, that’s us. Leeman and whatever he just said. We’re here to help. Can all of you just go ahead and tell us whatever is going on here? Any strange occurrences? Someone maybe, for example, seemingly under the thrall of a powerful magical artifact? That kind of thing?

Yeah-- I’m, whatever I just said. Or what I wrote on that paperwork. Just a great-- Having a great time all around, super into the invasions of body and privacy, and whatever. Can’t wait for more. Anyway, we’re ready for your exposition dump. Lay it on us. Also accepting answers in categories, uh, “what the fuck” and “why” - I know, they gave us the little guidebook, but full disclosure, did not read it. And also maybe where the nearest Fantasy wholesale shopping store is? Wasn’t exactly planning on this, completely underestimated the amount of snacks I’d need for this trip.

video;

[ryderonthestorm]

[ Uh-oh, it's another newbie. This one looks pretty much like a normal 20-something human woman. Maybe a little confused, but that's not unusual around here, either, no doubt. ]

Hey, so, I've never been kidnapped before, but I'm pretty sure giving me a new communication device defeats the purpose of disabling the one I came here with.

Anyway, I'd like to see if anyone is here that I know - so... hi?

[ She waves at the camera. ] Tempest crew? Andromeda Initiative? I can't be alone here, can I?

[ She really doesn't want to be alone here. ]

video

[glitchinthesystem]

[ The camera is positioned at an odd angle as if to visibly obscure where it's being taken, but in a moment someone does pop into view. On the other end appears a very annoyed looking teenager.

Scowling at the camera he finally speaks: ]

So, tell me, my mass hallucination: how many times do I have to bash my head in to wake up or get my fucking brain in order? Five? Six times?

Because space? Other fucking planets? Nah, that shit is not possible, not after we decided to blow ourselves up.

[Folding his arms over one another his blue eyes seem to focus more intently on the screen.]

Otherwise, what the hell is going on in this current state of delirium I'm having?

Answers may be appreciated. Maybe.