[Нико Белић] Big Mouth Prick (
vengeance_driven) wrote in
thisavrou2016-01-09 03:31 pm
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[Niko has had a little bit of a confusing week. He didn't expect to be asked along on a diplomatic mission; usually not anything he's good at (in his mind). But he came along, figuring he was there as bodyguard more than anything else.]
[But now he's returned, and he wants to check in.]
Hey, ah.... So I just got back. I had to go with Thán for a mission and now he has a new boyfriend for peace purposes I guess. I am not really sure what happened there. Sort of like an arranged marriage? [He's actually kind of suspicious of this whole-matchmaking thing now. He's always disliked match-making on some level, but there is something deeply unsettling about it here. Just how mandatory and committing it seems.]
[He doesn't hate the match he was given, not at all. But he knows there might be people they're even better suited to.]
Look, I am a little nervous about this big business here. Capitalism is shit, government is shit, and is bad enough when taking advantage of lonely people. But I think we are going to have to be sure to be good to the new guy because we saw what happened the last time we fucked up diplomacy.
[Niko has had a little bit of a confusing week. He didn't expect to be asked along on a diplomatic mission; usually not anything he's good at (in his mind). But he came along, figuring he was there as bodyguard more than anything else.]
[But now he's returned, and he wants to check in.]
Hey, ah.... So I just got back. I had to go with Thán for a mission and now he has a new boyfriend for peace purposes I guess. I am not really sure what happened there. Sort of like an arranged marriage? [He's actually kind of suspicious of this whole-matchmaking thing now. He's always disliked match-making on some level, but there is something deeply unsettling about it here. Just how mandatory and committing it seems.]
[He doesn't hate the match he was given, not at all. But he knows there might be people they're even better suited to.]
Look, I am a little nervous about this big business here. Capitalism is shit, government is shit, and is bad enough when taking advantage of lonely people. But I think we are going to have to be sure to be good to the new guy because we saw what happened the last time we fucked up diplomacy.

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[He goes over to a bright yellow one with black stripes, compact and sleek, and climbs into the passenger side and waits for her.]
Hey, if you want to drive, I will be happy to laugh at you.
[He means that with love, he really does.]
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[Especially driving with Niko, who she feels more safe driving with than most. Besides, she didn't bring them here for her to start driving.]
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[The intense look on his face is very real, and very pleased. He's needed this freedom.]
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She forgot how strange the intertia is in cars like this - definitely there, nowhere near as strong as a starship, but not dampened in any way.
It takes a moment for her to get used to it, and until she does she's silent, taking it in - but still watching Niko out of the corner of her eye.]
This is what I meant before. Starships travel at millions of kilometres an hour, but they still doesn't feel as fast as this does when you're in them.
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[It's still sort of a pitiful dream, even more of one it feels like now, since they have less resources here it feels like. But he hopes for the best.]
What would you like to do. When we finally end up somewhere, when we are finally free?
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[She's smiling fondly, but it fades for a moment then. Sometimes she wonders if they're ever going to be free. It's been a niggling worry for a while now, as time on the Moira keeps stretching on and they never seem to be any closer to their destination. It's harder, bit by bit, to see their own ship as something she can really look forward to. It's just hope now, fraying in her hands like old wire.
But they have each other, and that's what she can trust in.]
Anything we can. I want to...visit every planet we can find and explore everything. Have a job - choose my own job and do it. I want to go to a beach without my suit on. [Enjoy being free for the first time in what might have been years by the time it happens.
And, as she remembers St. Murtel, lets the idea drift around her mind slowly again,] Have a family, one day.
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Have a family one day?
[He focuses extra hard on the road because the "you break it you bought it" clause might end up putting Tali in debt if he's not super careful.]
You mean, me and you?
[No, she means a muppet, Niko.]
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The question nearly brings her to incredulous laughter, but she stifles it - and the instinct to be sarcastic, even gently. She can't help smiling, though.] Definitely me and you. If you'd want that.
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[Here they've proven children, even children between two men, are possible and even easily accepted. He can't just write off children with her as being impossible.]
[But he thinks of those Neraki soldiers, those children. The ones he was forced to shoot down. He thinks back to the mutilated bodies during the war, the children killed during his youth.]
I don't know if I will be a good father. I want to be. I want to be able to hold a child and say, "Look, I did something good." But I don't know that I can. I worry I might have too much of mine in me.
We have some time to think about it, at least.
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The first time this topic came up, she remembers being relieved thinking that they couldn't have children because of simple biology. She didn't have to think about it at all. Now it does seem more possible, and she wants to think about it - as something for the future, sure, but still.]
You're not your father. And I'm not mine, either. [Neither in the ways that made him a terrible father nor the ways that made him a great admiral, in her case. With Niko? It aches that he thinks that - but-] I think it's a good thing you're worried about it. It means you care about it more than he ever did.
[She rushes on, though.] But we both have time to think. It wouldn't be for a long time, I was just... Right. Thinking about it.
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[Would that be enough?]
[Tali isn't her father, no. He wonders what doubts she has.]
You don't speak of your father much. [Maybe not the best topic of conversation for a date.] Or your mother, really. What about her?
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I was pretty young when my mother died. [She's not upset - it's been too long now to really hurt badly anymore - just a little quieter.] I don't remember much about her. She was a medical researcher. I remember my father was actually happy with her.
After she died, he just wasn't around anymore. He worked all the time. I stayed with family friends, or my neighbours would make sure I was OK. I'd just hear from him - that I needed to work harder, try harder, be better at everything. He put me in marine training - I think he wanted me to be an admiral just like him. I just wanted to be an engineer - I'm no admiral.
He died researching anti-geth weaponry. [Her voice had been slowly growing tighter as if not trusting herself to be emotional, but now she pauses, and she goes on as if forcing herself to speak.] He told me he wanted geth parts to work on - deactivated. Safe. I got him the parts. Then Garrus told me back on the Neheda - he'd been putting them back together and reactivating them to run live weapons tests on them. The geth broke free and killed him. [She may hate the geth, but she can't keep the disgust out of her voice talking about the research. She's tried not to think about what her father did for a long time now.]
And they're going to charge me with treason for sending the parts. They might have done it already. Just tried me in absentia.
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[And maybe not so bad she wants to make her own. She deserves that, a good family. It would be on her terms how her child was loved- something it sounds like she needs. He'll have to think harder on it.]
Well, maybe if we make a baby, it will be healthy and smarter than its grandfathers. Or ah... maybe we can adopt. Be good parents to someone that needs them. [They have good examples of what not to be.]
Hold on.
[And that's when this asshole jerks the wheel and spins the car in a tight circle before taking off again.]
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[Before she can say anything else, she braces herself as Niko sends the car spinning, turning a fast, tight circle that has her grabbing his leg so as not to fall into him. She doesn't let go when the car pulls off again, but she has to let out the breath she was holding, a grin stealing over her.]
I hope it would be healthy. [She watches the road as it flies up under the wheels, contemplative.] My immune system is fine, but I don't know about...
[She trails off. Part of her thinks it wouldn't be fair to pass on her damaged immune on to someone else. But would she, now? And with human genes, it might be fine. She doesn't know, and that's another thing to worry about.]
I want to think we'd be good parents, though, if we had the chance. To any child.
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And, you could do your people a favor. I know you worry your help might have not been enough, but I guess if we decided to, then you could have a healthy Quarian baby. I even promise I would not try to wash the marks off its face.
[That is a lie, he would. He absolutely would.]
[Talking about it in the context of making her happy, of giving her a family, makes it a lot better than thinking of himself as a father. Because he's so certain of his own failure and chances for ruin. But Tali is a beautiful, intelligent woman. He wants to be a good father that has a child with a good heart like Roman, or a good brain like his brother.]
I think you would be a lot like my mother. You would probably love it even if life ended up hard for it.
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I want to be like your mother, though. [Loving, no matter what. There, no matter what. Important even a universe away.] Not like... Well, not like mine.
[That's a sudden and awkward realisation. She doesn't want to die before her child would have the chance to know her, be able to remember her. It wouldn't be an infection - but it could be almost anything else.]
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[But it's a nice thought, the idea of holding a child and it actually being his. Even if it were to look up at him with eyes closer to hers than his.]
Do people tell you stories about your mother?
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[She doesn't even notice that she's said 'her'. Slip of the tongue.]
My mother? [Her gaze flickers from the road to Niko.] A few. She was popular - not like my father was, but she helped a lot of people. One of her closest friends, she's an admiral too - I heard a lot from her.
I...think I look like her. When I see my face in the mirror, I can sort of remember hers. A bit. I don't know what my father looks like at all, though, really.