video | first

[spacerhyme]

[ the video feed flickers onto the face of an older gentleman; unflattering low angle, poor lighting, eyebrows hanging heavy over his eyes and lips tightly pursed. he's wearing a nice, heavy coat over a hoodie and a t-shirt featuring a sick ass space shark, though much of the ensemble's coated in a fine yellowish dust. looks like it could use a wash.

not his main concern right now. ]

Really? [ one corner of his mouth quirks up, wry. ] Cast across time and drifting lost and alone amongst storms of raw negative energy, but you've got social networking. How very... human, I bet a human knocked this up. D'you call it Spacebook or something?

[ original dad joke, do not steal. no apology is forthcoming.

the camera swings round, losing sight of him for a second as he sets the device down on something solid. re-adjusts it until it's centered properly on his face, steady now. ]

Hel-lo, Avagi. I'm the Doctor. Yes, just the Doctor. I arrived on your quaint little space station only recently — not the worst I've encountered. Well done. Probably... well, possibly not even in the bottom ten, but I mourn for some of your equipment. Someone made off with two-thirds of your laboratory, you realize, and ohhh, the state of your computers...

[ briefly aims the camera up at one of the aforementioned storms. ] But I must say, the open-plan observation station is a bold design.

[ casually tossing topics out as he rapidly approaches the actual purpose of this broadcast. this time he points at the screen, seriously, ]

Has anyone established themselves as your de facto leader yet? I'd like to know who to ignore.

The rest of you, tell me about the Ingress as it was, and the planets you've visited. Any of them.

[ over and out. ]

Comments

[inconsequence]

[Apparently, genocidal toddlers who favor knives and have far too much time on their hands.]

Good. I'd hate to have to counter by holding you at gunpoint in kind.

[They got through a whole three sentences before moving on to threats of violence, albeit largely glib ones. As much as one might wish to think this a record, it really, really isn't. Alas.]

text

[wallride]

chara

text

[inconsequence]

[Why do people keep insisting on spoiling their fun.]

Yes?

Re: text

[wallride]

can you maybe get to know the guy a bit more first before starting to threaten him?
random threats from a stranger aren't as potent

[inconsequence]

To be clear, your main issue with my tactics here is not that I have explicitly threatened a man but that I did not wait for the opportune time to do it?

[wallride]

you're gonna threaten everyone no matter what i say
i'm starting to realise that's your "hello, how are you?"

[inconsequence]

And you would be correct in assuming so.
I have to make a decent first impression, after all.

[wallride]

usually if you threaten people they stop talking to you

[inconsequence]

Golly. What a novel concept. I never would have imagined such a thing.

[wallride]

coulda fooled me

[inconsequence]

If your intention is to deconstruct my every word as to render everything I say useless, I commend you for your efforts but must inform you that you are neither the first nor the last to attempt this progressive whittling down of my sense of self, seeing as said sense has never existed in the first place.

[wallride]

damn chara how am i meant to defend myself without it seeming like that VERY THING
just please don't threaten people randomly?

[inconsequence]

And spoil the only pastime I have that resembles something remotely fun in this place?
You'll have to try a little harder than that.

[spacerhyme]

[ hhhhuh.

he reads over the ensuing text thread. real cool. ]

It's funny, people generally don't wait for me to initiate that sort of thing. Polite.

[inconsequence]

You did a poor job of making that impression.

[spacerhyme]

Sorry, am I [ he vaguely waves a hand between himself and the screen ] am I meant to care?

[inconsequence]

If you plan on making any leeway with the residents here, I certainly should hope so.

Then again, that may not be your priority. Perhaps you've a better method for obtaining information than directly from the source.

[spacerhyme]

Oh, you shouldn't worry about me. I'll handle this my way, I've only been doing it for a few thousand years.

[ with incredibly mixed results, of course.

but that's why he keeps at least one sensible human handy. ]

[inconsequence]

The Savrii had been living as they were for some time as well, as I understand it.

Regardless, they all burned.

[spacerhyme]

[ he SHRUGS HEAVILY at the camera. poor savrii, but he's pretty sure that's got nothing to do with him. ]

Aaand...?

[inconsequence]

And I don't believe I'll have long to wait in seeing you go the same way.

[spacerhyme]

That's what they all say. [ gestures to himself. AND YET, he's still here. ]

Your friend's right, though, it's significantly less effective in anonymous text form. Haven't even got a voice so I've been reading you in Elmer Fudd's. Please, before I burn to death, work on your technique.

[inconsequence]

He's not my friend.

Would you prefer I inquire as to the well-being of Mistew Pwesident? Would it be mowe effective if I asked you pwiow to now?

[spacerhyme]

[ he nods solemnly. ]

Yes. Just like that. You've almost got it — I'm nearly quaking in my boots, I'm sure.

[inconsequence]

Then pewish.