video | first

[spacerhyme]

[ the video feed flickers onto the face of an older gentleman; unflattering low angle, poor lighting, eyebrows hanging heavy over his eyes and lips tightly pursed. he's wearing a nice, heavy coat over a hoodie and a t-shirt featuring a sick ass space shark, though much of the ensemble's coated in a fine yellowish dust. looks like it could use a wash.

not his main concern right now. ]

Really? [ one corner of his mouth quirks up, wry. ] Cast across time and drifting lost and alone amongst storms of raw negative energy, but you've got social networking. How very... human, I bet a human knocked this up. D'you call it Spacebook or something?

[ original dad joke, do not steal. no apology is forthcoming.

the camera swings round, losing sight of him for a second as he sets the device down on something solid. re-adjusts it until it's centered properly on his face, steady now. ]

Hel-lo, Avagi. I'm the Doctor. Yes, just the Doctor. I arrived on your quaint little space station only recently — not the worst I've encountered. Well done. Probably... well, possibly not even in the bottom ten, but I mourn for some of your equipment. Someone made off with two-thirds of your laboratory, you realize, and ohhh, the state of your computers...

[ briefly aims the camera up at one of the aforementioned storms. ] But I must say, the open-plan observation station is a bold design.

[ casually tossing topics out as he rapidly approaches the actual purpose of this broadcast. this time he points at the screen, seriously, ]

Has anyone established themselves as your de facto leader yet? I'd like to know who to ignore.

The rest of you, tell me about the Ingress as it was, and the planets you've visited. Any of them.

[ over and out. ]

Comments

[spacerhyme]

"Soup"— Soup?

[ he sputters indignantly!? ]

Why are you texting, huh? [ he waves a hand emphatically at the screen. ] Is something wrong with your face? It can't be any worse than your writing.

[skelepun]

i see, so hawke told you about my chin growth? well that's not a deformity i can do anything about, brillo pad, i just try to carefully sculpt it as best i can.

you need some sensitivity training if you're gonna fit in around here.

[spacerhyme]

Well, that's what I keep Clara for— [ glances round, confused, like he's just realized she's not standing behind him. explains why no one's slapped him or anything yet. ] I left her somewhere...

[ huh. he blinks, looks back a the camera. ]

You lot need to stop obsessing about appearances, anyway. I've seen beings so hideous they'd drive a human mind insane before... you're probably fine.

[ is that sensitive? he's pretty sure it qualifies. ]

[skelepun]

well i know you've seen 'em before, you probably look in the mirror every day pal. my gooey human eyes are still adjusting.

[spacerhyme]

[ HOW COULD YOU—

his hand flies up to his cheek. ]

This face is fine. But I've decided I don't care to ever see yours.

[ so there! ]

[skelepun]

aw c'mon, it's super cute if you ignore the aforementioned face weasel. i've got eyebrows, skin, the whole nine yards.

[spacerhyme]

That sounds suspiciously like the sort of thing someone who hasn't got eyebrows or skin would say.

[skelepun]

psh, no way. i'm nowhere near as handsome as that.

[spacerhyme]

[ WHAT A SHAME . . . ]

No, of course not. You almost sounded interesting, for a moment.

[skelepun]

that's how i get 'em. i present all nice and pretty and by the end you just wish you were talking to a skeleton.

but hey, you've gotten a look at us. anyone piquing that fickle interest of yours?

[spacerhyme]

It's not the most diverse interdimensional nexus. I could see more variety at an Alpha Centurion farmers' market.

[ he says, having been nothing but white dudes for two thousand years.

he pulls some candy out of his pocket, casually munches on it. ]

If you have got a talking skeleton somewhere, point me in the right direction.

[skelepun]

that curious about skeletons, huh? careful, that's how rumors get started.

[spacerhyme]

I've an exhaustive, universal curiosity, it's a persistent trait of mine. You brought skeletons up.

[ ...he waves his hand between himself and the screen. ]

Look— you're obviously not shy about it, so are you going to turn your camera on or not? I hate talking to text.

text --> video;

[skelepun]

well, alright, but try to control that universal curiosity big guy.

[The camera switches after a beat of pause, revealing none other than--]

Ta-da.

[spacerhyme]

[ah. he tilts his head, one eyebrow raised, ] You weren't kidding. Sans eyebrows and skin.

[ yeah, he's fuckin' onto you. ]

You're not from the Planet of the Talking Skeletons, are you?

[ kinda hopes you are. ]