thisavrou | VIDEO

[Kaz almost never does a video post, but today is an exception. The view opens up with him positioning the camera on a level surface (a stool) and he backs away from the view to settle on his own seat. Behind him, the wall of the stage in the Hall of Music, and he has his two commissioned speakers and the special guitar gifted to him by Eggsy a full two years ago settled in his arms loosely, though his hands aren't in position yet. He has a half-full bottle of something he's already drunk too much of on one of the speakers. Hence why this is a video post, and he's willing to do this in front of people and trying to provoke some help.]

I was hoping that a friend of mine would turn up late. No such luck.

[Kaz has been feeling his friendships slimming again, through whichever misfortune is at fault, and he's very guilty of keeping people close to his chest. A constant sense of loss that he can never quite shake, because the world always feels a less for not having them around. One less rich accent to complain about mild inconveniences in a humorous, dismissive way. One less person to fuss over the quality of fabric or the quality of character. Losses that leave gaping flaws that Miller is constantly aware of.]

I realized that I didn't have the chance to tell him about one of my favorite musicians. I don't know that he would have enjoyed his music, but I think he would appreciate the man's undefeatable outlook on life.

So this is for Dorian. And I need some back-up from anyone who knows this battle song of my culture.

[Nyx probably would have appreciated it, too. For people who know it, it's probably obvious what he's about to do when he starts the Stomp Stomp Clap. Stomp Stomp Clap.] Buddy you're a boy make a big noise. Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day...

[He'll go to the very end, thank you. And while he's no Freddy Mercury and could use the help singing, even if he's drunk he'll rock that guitar solo at the end.]

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Does it really count as death if you wake up right back at home? If we're lucky, that's going to be exactly what happened to him.

[ assuming his world wasn't as much of a shitshow as their's. Dorian had told him about his homeland, and even if things sounded a little dire, he seemed to be in better shape than anyone from where they came from.

as to his next question... ]

What makes you think that I wouldn't listen to Queen?

[ over-the-top theatricality. flamboyance. you have to admit, Miller, some of the songs are rather attractive. ]

I'm hoping death wasn't even a thing that he had to encounter.

[He wouldn't have wanted his corpse left out, Kaz wagers to guess. Kaz knows a lot about Dorian's position. The threats to the mages. What he personally went through. What he lost. They were pretty close. Close enough that Kaz would take it upon himself to make a thorough display over the network- he hadn't even done that for Nyx.]

I don't know, you seem more like the Johnny Cash type.

He'll be fine. He seems like a survivor. You've got other things to worry about.

[ at least from what he heard about Tevinter. ]

It's possible for someone to like both, now isn't it?

[ he's also a fan of the Soviet pop hit "I Am Very Glad, as I'm Finally Returning Back Home". after all, some people need to stay full of surprises. ]

[He almost bites that Ocelot doesn't get to decide what he has to worry about, but he can't really be bothered to. He'll always worry about his people, even in absentia. It's just who he is. And he had a significant emotional investment in Dorian, enough that he doesn't regret the deep scars that line his back.]

[Kaz grunts, another wordless response, and slides off the stool. He unstraps the electric guitar, realizes he managed to get a cord around his ankle, is drunk enough that he just turns off his leg to free it (which leaves the shoe there) and walks out of view.]

[The other shoe is thrown back to join the first after a second.]

[He comes back with the acoustic guitar and pulls down the microphone. Again he start's playing something easier on drunk fingers. It's okay for someone to like both. And he even avoids using his ceaselessly running mouth to show that.]

[ he can't help but shake his head a little ~~how college boy of you, Miller~~. even so, a faint smile appears on his face, though and he might even join in singing along.

he can't let Miller butcher one of the greatest songs of all time. ]

-I fell for you like a child...
Oh, but the fire went wild...

[ Ocelot's voice isn't half-bad and almost fits the song. maybe it's the one thing in this particular field he can hold over Miller.

(and for a half-moment, he might just think of John and how appropriate this song was for the both of them.) ]

[In this case everyone's voice is better than Miller's, so he doesn't even take it personally or get irritated on that particular matter. He would have been honestly surprised if Ocelot had been worse.]

[But he is very good at the guitar part. It's a simple song, and even with enough alcohol in him that he is discarding clothing (even if it's only shoes (thank god)) he is doing a great job in that department.]

[He even stops singing at some point to focus on the guitar playing.]

[ Ocelot doesn't want to say that he's relieved when Miller stops singing, but he is. at the very least, it allows him to better flex his own voice, and makes a pretty good harmony.

yet another example of, when they set aside their (many) differences, they're actually able to be a pretty decent team.

too bad they're both excessively stubborn men.

when the song finally finishes, he nods in what might be approval. ]

Not bad.

Yeah. Almost makes the prosthetic arm worth it.

[He looks at his fingers, the way the strings of the guitar show faintly through them.]

[He did miss this. Playing in front of people, that is. In those hard years, the withdrawn ones, all his playing had been done in private. And then, barely that. Nothing original, nothing passionate.]

[It's a grave that he's had to dig up after being mistaken on its death.]

It's not so bad. Probably more useful than a real arm.

[ really, he doesn't see what the big fuss about it is. maybe that will change in the future when he loses his right hand (if nothing changes), but for the time being, he really doesn't get it.

maybe it's because it's always been easier for him to compartmentalize everything than most. ]

It has its uses.

I had the option of having the real arm back. [He actually did, for a week, before the magic wore off.]

Dorian's doing.

[Though in that case, it was his shadow self. And it was accompanied by an insult that cut deep. Now he almost wishes that he had taken him up on his offer to give it back under better circumstances. Kaz wants to pay his penance for his mistakes, but it would be nice to have that reminder of his friend.]

You made the right choice.

[ maybe one of the few times that he'd come close to giving miller a genuine compliment. Miracles can happen, after all. ]

That arm you have is more than your typical flesh-and-blood one.

[ it's a similar thing with John, he supposes. he's sure if he wanted, he could get an eye to replace the one he shot out. but he never had. ]

Yeah. I know it is. I'm just not all that fond of it.

It works, though. I feel it. Pain. Heat. Cold. It connects to a series of artificial nerves, lets me interpret the technical sensory input as something my brain understands.

Other than a first few days of being like an infant learning to use its fingers, I didn't have to adjust all that much. The knowledge of how to use it came pre-installed.

Some of the other functions are a little trickier, but I don't use them that often.

[Right choice, yes, all of it. But still. It's a fake thing attached to him, like an escape from a warranted punishment.]

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