McDonell Benedict "Kazuhira (和平)" Miller (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
warandpeace) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thisavrou2017-10-24 03:59 pm
warandpeace) wrote in thisavrou2017-10-24 03:59 pm
VIDEO
[Kaz almost never does a video post, but today is an exception. The view opens up with him positioning the camera on a level surface (a stool) and he backs away from the view to settle on his own seat. Behind him, the wall of the stage in the Hall of Music, and he has his two commissioned speakers and the special guitar gifted to him by Eggsy a full two years ago settled in his arms loosely, though his hands aren't in position yet. He has a half-full bottle of something he's already drunk too much of on one of the speakers. Hence why this is a video post, and he's willing to do this in front of people and trying to provoke some help.]
I was hoping that a friend of mine would turn up late. No such luck.
[Kaz has been feeling his friendships slimming again, through whichever misfortune is at fault, and he's very guilty of keeping people close to his chest. A constant sense of loss that he can never quite shake, because the world always feels a less for not having them around. One less rich accent to complain about mild inconveniences in a humorous, dismissive way. One less person to fuss over the quality of fabric or the quality of character. Losses that leave gaping flaws that Miller is constantly aware of.]
I realized that I didn't have the chance to tell him about one of my favorite musicians. I don't know that he would have enjoyed his music, but I think he would appreciate the man's undefeatable outlook on life.
So this is for Dorian. And I need some back-up from anyone who knows this battle song of my culture.
[Nyx probably would have appreciated it, too. For people who know it, it's probably obvious what he's about to do when he starts the Stomp Stomp Clap. Stomp Stomp Clap.] Buddy you're a boy make a big noise. Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day...
[He'll go to the very end, thank you. And while he's no Freddy Mercury and could use the help singing, even if he's drunk he'll rock that guitar solo at the end.]
I was hoping that a friend of mine would turn up late. No such luck.
[Kaz has been feeling his friendships slimming again, through whichever misfortune is at fault, and he's very guilty of keeping people close to his chest. A constant sense of loss that he can never quite shake, because the world always feels a less for not having them around. One less rich accent to complain about mild inconveniences in a humorous, dismissive way. One less person to fuss over the quality of fabric or the quality of character. Losses that leave gaping flaws that Miller is constantly aware of.]
I realized that I didn't have the chance to tell him about one of my favorite musicians. I don't know that he would have enjoyed his music, but I think he would appreciate the man's undefeatable outlook on life.
So this is for Dorian. And I need some back-up from anyone who knows this battle song of my culture.
[Nyx probably would have appreciated it, too. For people who know it, it's probably obvious what he's about to do when he starts the Stomp Stomp Clap. Stomp Stomp Clap.] Buddy you're a boy make a big noise. Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day...
[He'll go to the very end, thank you. And while he's no Freddy Mercury and could use the help singing, even if he's drunk he'll rock that guitar solo at the end.]
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[ really, he doesn't see what the big fuss about it is. maybe that will change in the future when he loses his right hand (if nothing changes), but for the time being, he really doesn't get it.
maybe it's because it's always been easier for him to compartmentalize everything than most. ]
no subject
I had the option of having the real arm back. [He actually did, for a week, before the magic wore off.]
Dorian's doing.
[Though in that case, it was his shadow self. And it was accompanied by an insult that cut deep. Now he almost wishes that he had taken him up on his offer to give it back under better circumstances. Kaz wants to pay his penance for his mistakes, but it would be nice to have that reminder of his friend.]
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[ maybe one of the few times that he'd come close to giving miller a genuine compliment. Miracles can happen, after all. ]
That arm you have is more than your typical flesh-and-blood one.
[ it's a similar thing with John, he supposes. he's sure if he wanted, he could get an eye to replace the one he shot out. but he never had. ]
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It works, though. I feel it. Pain. Heat. Cold. It connects to a series of artificial nerves, lets me interpret the technical sensory input as something my brain understands.
Other than a first few days of being like an infant learning to use its fingers, I didn't have to adjust all that much. The knowledge of how to use it came pre-installed.
Some of the other functions are a little trickier, but I don't use them that often.
[Right choice, yes, all of it. But still. It's a fake thing attached to him, like an escape from a warranted punishment.]