McDonell Benedict "Kazuhira (和平)" Miller (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
warandpeace) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thisavrou2017-10-24 03:59 pm
warandpeace) wrote in thisavrou2017-10-24 03:59 pm
VIDEO
[Kaz almost never does a video post, but today is an exception. The view opens up with him positioning the camera on a level surface (a stool) and he backs away from the view to settle on his own seat. Behind him, the wall of the stage in the Hall of Music, and he has his two commissioned speakers and the special guitar gifted to him by Eggsy a full two years ago settled in his arms loosely, though his hands aren't in position yet. He has a half-full bottle of something he's already drunk too much of on one of the speakers. Hence why this is a video post, and he's willing to do this in front of people and trying to provoke some help.]
I was hoping that a friend of mine would turn up late. No such luck.
[Kaz has been feeling his friendships slimming again, through whichever misfortune is at fault, and he's very guilty of keeping people close to his chest. A constant sense of loss that he can never quite shake, because the world always feels a less for not having them around. One less rich accent to complain about mild inconveniences in a humorous, dismissive way. One less person to fuss over the quality of fabric or the quality of character. Losses that leave gaping flaws that Miller is constantly aware of.]
I realized that I didn't have the chance to tell him about one of my favorite musicians. I don't know that he would have enjoyed his music, but I think he would appreciate the man's undefeatable outlook on life.
So this is for Dorian. And I need some back-up from anyone who knows this battle song of my culture.
[Nyx probably would have appreciated it, too. For people who know it, it's probably obvious what he's about to do when he starts the Stomp Stomp Clap. Stomp Stomp Clap.] Buddy you're a boy make a big noise. Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day...
[He'll go to the very end, thank you. And while he's no Freddy Mercury and could use the help singing, even if he's drunk he'll rock that guitar solo at the end.]
I was hoping that a friend of mine would turn up late. No such luck.
[Kaz has been feeling his friendships slimming again, through whichever misfortune is at fault, and he's very guilty of keeping people close to his chest. A constant sense of loss that he can never quite shake, because the world always feels a less for not having them around. One less rich accent to complain about mild inconveniences in a humorous, dismissive way. One less person to fuss over the quality of fabric or the quality of character. Losses that leave gaping flaws that Miller is constantly aware of.]
I realized that I didn't have the chance to tell him about one of my favorite musicians. I don't know that he would have enjoyed his music, but I think he would appreciate the man's undefeatable outlook on life.
So this is for Dorian. And I need some back-up from anyone who knows this battle song of my culture.
[Nyx probably would have appreciated it, too. For people who know it, it's probably obvious what he's about to do when he starts the Stomp Stomp Clap. Stomp Stomp Clap.] Buddy you're a boy make a big noise. Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day...
[He'll go to the very end, thank you. And while he's no Freddy Mercury and could use the help singing, even if he's drunk he'll rock that guitar solo at the end.]
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I didn't know you had it in your plans to take part to show business, mr. handsome.
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[But that's beside the point. And he's drunk enough to openly say that. He'll be embarrassed later.]
I used to write songs. I know money is a great motivator, but back then I just enjoyed doing it. I liked watching the reactions it got.
[His own morale wanes frequently, but he does genuinely enjoy spurring it in other people. Excuse him, though, he needs to tear through this bottle of wine a little bit more.]
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[If asked her opinion Miller would definitely be one of those who she never expected to get a lover.]
But this one is hardly a love song, don't you think?
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Why is it so surprising?
[It always baffles him that so many people think of him as chaste now, when he used to be such a heinous flirt with far too many lovers. Maybe he did need the sense beaten into him.]
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And ah well, ["you're old" she almost says out loud but bites back in time to stop that.] you never seemed to be interested in something like that, dear.
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[His entire base, for one. Meant for Big Boss, but a home in loving memory of the one they'd had before, but the lives they lost.]
[God he is old.]
Well, I used to have a lot of companions. But... I've never had an actual relationship that we both gave a name to. So there are a lot of things I'm not sure about.
Hell, I've not even seen a relationship that works. I have no idea what I'm doing.
[He's very drunk to be talking about this, and is in desperate need of a filter.]
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[She might or might not be joking about that.]
They do say that love doesn't discriminate the age, you know. You're hardly only one with such failures, sugar.
Do I get a name of this charmer or should I call him mr. mystery?
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[Though, to be honest, his companion is, with a good thirteen years on him.]
But his name is Ahab.
[He knows the man has a number of friends Kaz doesn't know about and vice versa, so he's never sure who he actually spoke with.]
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Can't say I know him. You should introduce us someday, Mr. Handsome.
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[He has nothing to worry about. He'll be blond well into his fifties. His mother's genes afforded him some luck.]
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[He's drunk and his filters are off. But even then there's some shyness there.]
He doesn't say much. He's more of a shower than a talker.
[There's a lot he can say here. That he thinks Ahab is straight, that Kaz has been an exception to the rule, an attraction based in emotion. That their lives have been intertwined. Instead?] He's a decade older than me, anyway.
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But it's also rare occurrence enough that she's going to try to milk out as much out of him as possible. ]
Ah. So man of an action? Aren't you a lucky guy then. And if he's really that much older than you it must mean he knows a trick or two at this point, or what do you think?
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[Kaz puffs out his cheeks as he exhales. And looks behind him, as if Venom Snake might have managed to stealth up and watch him embarrass the both of them.]
[Then he swivels back in the seat, back towards J and the camera view.]
Um.
[Mr. "Can Talk Endlessly" seems to be at a loss for words.]
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She leans closer the camera along him and brings hand next to her mouth and whispers:]
It'll be secret, I promise.
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[That's a nice, safe analysis that won't get him into trouble. And here he was wondering why people kept thinking that he was a forty-year-old virgin.]