thisavrou | video. 001.

video. 001.

( the face that appears is open and handsome, smiling charmingly and with wavy black hair parted smartly to one side. it's clear from the feed that he's unusually tall, and his accent when he speaks is rich and warm, though guttural. a cousin to russian, maybe, if someone was familiar with that particular accent. he's dressed in the given uniforms of the ship, reclining in his assigned quarters that are, for once, blissfully quiet.

well mostly, because there's a small, tiny meow coming from his hand — a grey kitten from the bonsai kitten tree. someone's stepped up and taken responsibility for something that came from his universe. ivan's petting it absently with a finger until it decides that its had enough of that and sinks its teeth into it instead. ivan hisses in annoyance as he tries to pry it away. )

Get off you little monster — I knew General Count Piotr was a good name for you—

( because his great uncle was a right fucking terror. anyway, onto the point of this broadcast! )

I'm looking to set up my cousin on a blind date. He's going to drive me mad otherwise — I think he's doing it on purpose this time, instead of it being a natural byproduct of his personality. ( a beat, and then he has a really great idea. ) And my other, more distant cousin, because he deserves to have a good time for once in his life. I can vouch for them both if you like, give an honest opinion of them to interested parties, but I think they'd like to speak for themselves. Well, one of them you won't be able to get to stop.

He likes tall women. Dark hair, and with the ability to break him in half if they wanted to. Not actually that hard to do, so be careful when throwing him around. I'm told he's charming, but it comes across as him being an egotistical prat. Damned clever and knows it, so be prepared to suffer if you can’t keep up. Requirements include being open to sexual creativity and unusual partners.

( you're welcome, miles vorkosigan. )

Anyway, the other one's your typical tall, dark, silent fellow. I don't actually know what his type is, come to think of it, and I'm not sure anyone does. M'mother would have thrown every woman that fit it at him until he married one of them if she knew. If the phrase 'let’s wait and see what happens' won't drive you up the wall, he's the guy for you. Requirements include being open to having five children. At least.

( you're also welcome, gregor vorbarra. please find a nice woman and get married and have as many children as there are uterine replicators on barrayar. )

So! Interested? Let me know and I’ll set you up.

ADDED IN LATER:
Nevermind about the child thing, just be willing to handle a fun, no-committment deal with him instead.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[congratulates themself on the save. not that Miles would want to hide in Bel's cabin from whatever the results of this might be, but if he did, there'd be plenty to talk about without stumbling into hot sands.]

Did you. She probably found you adorable. [not much respect for Betans who trawled the shuttleports but never left the planet, but hey, props to Ivan for being open-minded.] Were you ever there for that few years when full body paint was the biggest fashion?

[...those three simple letters, and all that they stand for.....]

[snickers. 'vorishly'?] Please tell me it's all on maple mead.

God, I hope so. She was fun. ( and she slept with him when he didn't really know what he was doing, too! bless her. the image that bel puts into ivan's mind is a damned good one -- women, everywhere, naked except for body paint. what an amazing place, beta colony. ) No. Damn it, now I wish I had been.

( their curse. ivan knows it is, knows that its got its claws in deep in gregor, in aral and in miles. him, too, in some ways. )

No, maple mead's a Vorkosigan District tradition. Wine's traditional -- and even then Vorkosigan House has the best cellars outside of the Imperial Residence themselves. Say what you want about Great Uncle Piotr, he had great taste in wine.

Ha. It's one of the few times I regretted being posted nowhere near Beta. Silica was supposed to have been eye-popping. [not that the so-called jokes trickling back through the mercenary pipeline made it easy. somehow that kind of thing never got thrown at Arde....] You know, a Betan sarong appeared on my bunk recently. No idea where it came from, but I'm thinking of saving it for special occasions.~

And there we have the reason you don't leave the planet. What do they say about Great Uncle Piotr?

Yeah, I just bet it was. ( a respectful silence as ivan imagines this further with a distracted gleam in his eyes. it gets rather cloudy as bel continues talking, and then he stumbles slowly to a halt. ) Er. You're not planning on wearing it topless, are you? And what counts as a special occasion?

( just so he can not be around for that. )

That he's one of the main reasons we're not the Ninth Satrapy. That it's his doing that Yuri Vorbarra's Civil War happened in the first place, because apparently no one thought it was a bad idea to leave him alive after killing his wife, two of his kids, and all of his in-laws and their families? A right, proper Conservative terror -- the last of the old Vor. You know, the usual stuff.

[and there it is.] Ivan, just to be clear, people of all genders got very creative with that particular fad. [most cheerfully ironic of tones] And why do you ask? I didn't think you'd have any objection to that half of me.

Your whole planet needs so much therapy. You have my sincere condolences. [but relents a little, because it's impressive that anyone growing up in that lot emerged from it even remotely sane.] The new Vor have a lot on their shoulders, it seems.

( his mouth opens and shuts several times to try and come up with a response to any of this, but he can't come ups with anything. )

That's not-- I mean-- I don't--

( HE IS GOING TO MOVE RIGHT ALONG AND NOT TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE, GODDAMN IT. )

Gregor and Uncle Aral do alright. It's not easy for them, having to drag the rest of Barrayar along after them, but the Progressive Party's been a mainstay. And everyone knows that's where Gregor's sympathies lie, even if he's bound to pretend like he's neutral towards all decisions made by the Council of Counts. I don't know if that's a traditional thing or just him. It's hard to imagine someone like Ezar just letting himself sit back and wait while everyone else bickers about decisions he wants.

Maybe I will let you hide in my cabin. If you asked nicely.~

[relents; it'd be cruel to go further. hilarious, yes, but the poor boy still is Miles's relative.]

The last of the old Vor, the middle guard, and the first of the new? No, Ezar would have sat back, secure with the Counts already in his pocket. He'd never have let something come to a vote without already knowing the outcome.

How does it feel, to be the fulcrum on which an empire turns?

( N O P E )

Me? ( ivan snorts. ) You're mistaking me for one of my cousins.

( someone with power. someone who has to figure out how to use something no one asked them if they wanted in the first place. no, ivan's fine with not having any of that. he's got a title by association, a title and a family history of death and bloodshed. that's more than enough for him.

he has tried so damn hard to be unimportant, to escape the politics of his extended family. he's not gonna have bel think he wants in on it all. )

[a moment of thoughtful silence.]

...yes. Sometimes it feels like that.

[but you stayed there, with them. ~~instead of, say, emigrating to Silica for good.~~

that's its own power, in a way.

cheerfully] Can't build an empire without warm bodies. Well, I hope this doesn't go too badly for them. They deserve a break.

( what's that supposed to mean, bel?

they're family, and ivan has that in such short supply. what is he supposed to do, let miles galavant around the nexus without someone to give him a friendly familial ribbing? not a chance in the world. but even then, ivan can't fully shake the idea of loyalty, of serving. it's just who you are, once you've got those three letters tacked in front of your name. )

It's going surprisingly well. Gregor's talked to more women of his own free will than I've ever seen before and someone's setting up a date for Miles.

( he's rather surprised himself )

[>>

....nothing, probably. ~~certainly nothing to do with roots and connections and changes and lives left behind or anything like that.~~

idle thoughts. nope.

are you really going to give Bel real-time itemized updates on your cousins' hectic love lives. really, Ivan. really.] Gregor can speak, you know. He's quite the conversationalist. -- Ha! Who's the lucky lady?

Yeah, that's not the sort of speaking I'm referring to. ( he'd be shy, if he was allowed to be. and he doesn't talk to women back home in the causal way he does here, the sort of way that can possibly lead to romantic adventures. that's the sort of talking to he's talking about.

and anyway, the secret to knowing what gregor is on about isn't in what he says but in his expression half the time. as for miles, well. ) Dunno, Eggsy wouldn't cough up a name.

( also it's... not a woman, but ivan's keeping that to himself and not someone who might go and tell miles. )

You might be surprised. [have you seen that smile, Ivan? have you noticed what that voice can do when it's low and sleepy and comfortable? have you seriously not noticed how the muscles play over his back? probably not, actually. damned Barrayar.]

[he'd get a bitter belly laugh with that, but also yyyyyyyeah of course Bel would immediately tell Miles ~~no need to put any other poor suitor through that; they know what it's like~~]

She'd better be eight feet tall with a voice like a velvet avalanche. [the ironic alto is amused, yeah, but Bel sincerely wishes Miles well. he deserves it.]

If it was, the man'd be married already and could stop sending Uncle Aral, Miles, and I into heart attacks occasionally. The sooner he gets to cooking up an heir instead of refusing to name any of us one, the better.

( there's too much intermarrying in that part of the family anyway, bel. when your two grandparents have the same last name you know you're in trouble. )

I've got a promise on tall, not so sure about the voice.

( is that an agreement on their part on miles' preferences? ivan doesn't know, but bel would know, wouldn't they? they've worked with him long enough. )

Poor man. Doesn't he get to have anything for himself? Even with [wow did he really just say] Uncle Aral to look after all of you?

[you can always adopt c'mon where there's a will there's a way Bel doesn't make the rules ~~that's Greg's job~~

it's not as if Miles's preferences are hard to spot or anything. but there's also the most important one, surely Ivan's noticed too, it's been there from the beginning]

Most of all? Make sure she means it. [a small half-smile, from one who knows to one who should.] He always will.

We're letting him choose who he wants to marry, Bel. It's his job, he doesn't have a choice. ( ivan doesn't need to mention how depressing that is -- he knows it. it's why he doesn't want the damn job. why does everyone think calling uncle aral uncle aral is weird? that's who he is. terrifying as hell, sure, but still his uncle. ) What do you think he's doing? Do you even know what'll happen if Gregor dies and there's no heir?

( ivan hates imagining it. he knows he can't escape the chaos that will follow if that happens, knows that if it happens his family isn't safe. barrayar will chew miles up and spit out his corpse, uncle aral will kill himself trying to keep the planet together, there will be death and murder and he knows this, just as much as he knows gregor knows it.

it probably doesn't matter to bel, ivan thinks irritably in a small flash of patriotism. )

I know. ( he says, in reference to miles' romantic preferences. it's what makes getting his cousin laid so damn difficult. )

Edited 2016-01-07 04:32 (UTC)

[SHRUG] I've never understood why cloning's not an option. Cook up an heir, and even a spare or five if he's after that big family, and take as long as you like to find a partner. [it's that simple, why do Barrayarans have to make things this complicated and dangerous.]

I left Beta a couple of years after the rout at Escobar. Got a good look at the aftermath. It sounded like you were having some bloody years yourself back home, not that the media made any sense of it. [eyes are shadowed.] All in all, I'd rather he stays alive. [switches back to a smirk again] Lucky you have me here to help.

Because that's weird? Good God, Bel, who wants the exact same guy in charge of three planets for the rest of time? ( also ivan has Bad Experiences with clones so thanks but no thanks. god. putting a clone in charge of barrayar. they tired that once and ivan almost died, so. ) Sure, the Vor are inbred as hell, but there's a limit.

( does bel think that ivan doesn't want gregor to live? of course he does. he's family, and he finds himself with a very limited number of them. )

Oh yeah? You sworn an oath to him, yet?

( he's joking! )

[sigh] Clones and their progenitors aren't the same guy, Ivan. [as you should know quite well. ] If you're not Baron Bharaputra, you raise 'em as offspring or siblings and they grow up fine. They're their own people, not handy body doubles.

[that gets a chuckle out of them.] Ha! We're the Dendarii Free Mercenaries, not the Dendarii Armsmen. Miles swore the oath. [proudly] I'm on contract.

[which means they could back out any time, especially under these circumstances. but they're not. c: ]

Yeah, but he'd still be -- ( yuri vorbarra's great nephew. ivan doesn't know how heavy that weighs on gregor, on account of his distant cousin keeping that particular card close to his chest, but he'd be a far bigger idiot than he pretends to be if he didn't think for one moment it doesn't ever occur to gregor to think about who he's related to. the vorpatril family is only marginally inbred, thanks, with no noteworthy figures of history past; he thinks he's rather lucked out in all this. ivan waves his hand in an attempt to convey his meaning, fails, and then gives up. ) No one would want that.

( barrayarans, right? )

Contract. Right. What do you get from it, then?

( he's too barrayaran to put much stock in contracts, but miles seems to like them and trust them well enough. but an oath is-- it's a promise, in a way, and you can always fall back on an oath in times of need when it's a relationship between two people. they're never entirely one way; gregor has an obligation to him in different ways than ivan's obligation to gregor. but a contract is just-- what would you lose, by breaking it? why keep it, if it's just words on a flimsy or reader? )

[that internal monologue is exactly as clear as mud to Bel. they pity you and your incredibly confusing planet.

but your Barrayaran oath system is... terrifying, honestly. if there's one thing Bel knows about interpersonal dynamics, it's that nothing ever stays the same. on Beta, when a contract is changed or broken, it doesn't necessarily mean what you have with the other person is broken, or you're broken, or they're broken -- it's just the document, just a nominal relationship sanctioned by the state, but with you people, the way you make things so personal -- how do you exchange your very hearts over so ephemeral a thing, the pledge of your unknown undiscovered self, the imaginary, uncertain future? let enough time pass and there's no one left but the dead and forsworn. how can you be anything to each other like that?

shrugs. it's not something they choose to think about very often, though they've had to more than usual lately as they've learned more about what those oaths mean.]

Freedom to stay.

( because they have to be, because on a planet forgotten to space, bloody and hardly the most hospitable word, the only thing that is certain is one's word and each other. and that has to be enough, doesn't it, for them to keep going?

barrayar grew from nothing, to become what it is out of necessity. so do they. )

And you want to. ( not a question, just a statement of fact. ) I guess that's not the weirdest thing I've heard all day.

( ivan understands the magnetism of his cousin better than anyone -- after all, he doesn't want to end up dragged into all of the things miles does and finds himself anyway. that's just miles. so he understands, even if he doesn't agree. it's a stupid way to live, and will only end in collateral damage ivan doesn't want to be a part of.

but each to their own, eh? )

[while Beta keeps building and refining itself, with or without the individual....

nods, smiling slightly. every day is a new gift.

....says the man who just put his cousins' dating lives up for grabs, ha] Oh, you'll surely hear weirder. Let me know how it turns out.

[sincerely wishes them well, both of them, if they can find someone who feels right... even if pretty sure this isn't the best way for them to get there.]

You can always ask him. But yeah, uh. Sure.

( look, bel, someone has to get them out there. ivan would have been happy to leave them to it but miles has recently become unbearable; from their early morning conversation planetside to his stupid reaction to the news that he asked elizabeth out.

sometimes a man just has to get his cousins laid, you know? )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

video. 001.

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private

audio; private