ivan "pretty boy from barrayar" vorpatril (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
whatdidisay) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thisavrou2015-12-29 11:43 am
whatdidisay) wrote in thisavrou2015-12-29 11:43 am
video. 001.
( the face that appears is open and handsome, smiling charmingly and with wavy black hair parted smartly to one side. it's clear from the feed that he's unusually tall, and his accent when he speaks is rich and warm, though guttural. a cousin to russian, maybe, if someone was familiar with that particular accent. he's dressed in the given uniforms of the ship, reclining in his assigned quarters that are, for once, blissfully quiet.
well mostly, because there's a small, tiny meow coming from his hand — a grey kitten from the bonsai kitten tree. someone's stepped up and taken responsibility for something that came from his universe. ivan's petting it absently with a finger until it decides that its had enough of that and sinks its teeth into it instead. ivan hisses in annoyance as he tries to pry it away. )
Get off you little monster — I knew General Count Piotr was a good name for you—
( because his great uncle was a right fucking terror. anyway, onto the point of this broadcast! )
I'm looking to set up my cousin on a blind date. He's going to drive me mad otherwise — I think he's doing it on purpose this time, instead of it being a natural byproduct of his personality. ( a beat, and then he has a really great idea. ) And my other, more distant cousin, because he deserves to have a good time for once in his life. I can vouch for them both if you like, give an honest opinion of them to interested parties, but I think they'd like to speak for themselves. Well, one of them you won't be able to get to stop.
He likes tall women. Dark hair, and with the ability to break him in half if they wanted to. Not actually that hard to do, so be careful when throwing him around. I'm told he's charming, but it comes across as him being an egotistical prat. Damned clever and knows it, so be prepared to suffer if you can’t keep up. Requirements include being open to sexual creativity and unusual partners.
( you're welcome, miles vorkosigan. )
Anyway, the other one's your typical tall, dark, silent fellow. I don't actually know what his type is, come to think of it, and I'm not sure anyone does. M'mother would have thrown every woman that fit it at him until he married one of them if she knew. If the phrase 'let’s wait and see what happens' won't drive you up the wall, he's the guy for you. Requirements include being open to having five children. At least.
( you're also welcome, gregor vorbarra. please find a nice woman and get married and have as many children as there are uterine replicators on barrayar. )
So! Interested? Let me know and I’ll set you up.
ADDED IN LATER:
Nevermind about the child thing, just be willing to handle a fun, no-committment deal with him instead.
well mostly, because there's a small, tiny meow coming from his hand — a grey kitten from the bonsai kitten tree. someone's stepped up and taken responsibility for something that came from his universe. ivan's petting it absently with a finger until it decides that its had enough of that and sinks its teeth into it instead. ivan hisses in annoyance as he tries to pry it away. )
Get off you little monster — I knew General Count Piotr was a good name for you—
( because his great uncle was a right fucking terror. anyway, onto the point of this broadcast! )
I'm looking to set up my cousin on a blind date. He's going to drive me mad otherwise — I think he's doing it on purpose this time, instead of it being a natural byproduct of his personality. ( a beat, and then he has a really great idea. ) And my other, more distant cousin, because he deserves to have a good time for once in his life. I can vouch for them both if you like, give an honest opinion of them to interested parties, but I think they'd like to speak for themselves. Well, one of them you won't be able to get to stop.
He likes tall women. Dark hair, and with the ability to break him in half if they wanted to. Not actually that hard to do, so be careful when throwing him around. I'm told he's charming, but it comes across as him being an egotistical prat. Damned clever and knows it, so be prepared to suffer if you can’t keep up. Requirements include being open to sexual creativity and unusual partners.
( you're welcome, miles vorkosigan. )
Anyway, the other one's your typical tall, dark, silent fellow. I don't actually know what his type is, come to think of it, and I'm not sure anyone does. M'mother would have thrown every woman that fit it at him until he married one of them if she knew. If the phrase 'let’s wait and see what happens' won't drive you up the wall, he's the guy for you. Requirements include being open to having five children. At least.
( you're also welcome, gregor vorbarra. please find a nice woman and get married and have as many children as there are uterine replicators on barrayar. )
So! Interested? Let me know and I’ll set you up.
ADDED IN LATER:
Nevermind about the child thing, just be willing to handle a fun, no-committment deal with him instead.
audio; private
but your Barrayaran oath system is... terrifying, honestly. if there's one thing Bel knows about interpersonal dynamics, it's that nothing ever stays the same. on Beta, when a contract is changed or broken, it doesn't necessarily mean what you have with the other person is broken, or you're broken, or they're broken -- it's just the document, just a nominal relationship sanctioned by the state, but with you people, the way you make things so personal -- how do you exchange your very hearts over so ephemeral a thing, the pledge of your unknown undiscovered self, the imaginary, uncertain future? let enough time pass and there's no one left but the dead and forsworn. how can you be anything to each other like that?
shrugs. it's not something they choose to think about very often, though they've had to more than usual lately as they've learned more about what those oaths mean.]
Freedom to stay.
audio; private
barrayar grew from nothing, to become what it is out of necessity. so do they. )
And you want to. ( not a question, just a statement of fact. ) I guess that's not the weirdest thing I've heard all day.
( ivan understands the magnetism of his cousin better than anyone -- after all, he doesn't want to end up dragged into all of the things miles does and finds himself anyway. that's just miles. so he understands, even if he doesn't agree. it's a stupid way to live, and will only end in collateral damage ivan doesn't want to be a part of.
but each to their own, eh? )
audio; private
nods, smiling slightly. every day is a new gift.
....says the man who just put his cousins' dating lives up for grabs, ha] Oh, you'll surely hear weirder. Let me know how it turns out.
[sincerely wishes them well, both of them, if they can find someone who feels right... even if pretty sure this isn't the best way for them to get there.]
audio; private
( look, bel, someone has to get them out there. ivan would have been happy to leave them to it but miles has recently become unbearable; from their early morning conversation planetside to his stupid reaction to the news that he asked elizabeth out.
sometimes a man just has to get his cousins laid, you know? )