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[imoustacheyou]

[When the video clicks on, it's not to the confused face of a newcomer, to the concern of someone who has just been plucked out of their universe and thrown to another. It's not of anger, fear, annoyance, none of that. When the video focuses, it's on a man wearing a strange dark coat, twirling one end of a ginger mustache between his fingers. He has light blue markings on his face, pointed ears, wild hair, a patch over his right eye, and looks entirely nonplussed by this entire situation.

In fact, this particular newcomer seems settled enough that he's able to hold the TAB in a steady hand at the perfect MySpace angle. No, seriously, he has this selfie stuff on lock.]

You know, this reminds me of that time I was on the coast of Melharoo, on the planet Yaluk of the Fifth Nebula. There was an entertainment city -- Va Harn, I believe the name was -- with a resort that operated kind of like this. Woke up there without a clue of what I'd been doing the past week! Turns out I'd had a particularly nasty run in with a few Wabbernocks! [Here, he laughs. As if everything he's saying makes complete and total sense.] Last time I went there during a waning metra.

[He lets go of the edge of his mustache, letting it bounce back into place as he regards the lens of the TAB.]

It's been a good while since I've had the time to learn about a new culture, so go ahead fellow visitors and Thisavrounians! Give me your best stories. Tell me about your culture, your technology, your holidays-- anything you could possibly think of!

[And, almost as if it's an afterthought, rather than the whole point of this broadcast Coran come on]

Oh! And if anyone's heard some rumors about flying robotic lions -- particularly a colored set -- I'd appreciate the information.

Comments

[VIDEO]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[The part about robotic lions catches Darin's attention...but he just sits back in his chair and grins. Ether this guy was trying entirely hard to stay low-key, thereby making him stick out like a sore thumb, or he was an eccentric old codger.]

[Darin loved badgering eccentric old codgers.]

[So, when he responds, he pretends to know nothing of robotic lions or their paladins.]

Man, I hate it when you get on the wrong side of a pack of Wabbernocks. Last time that happened, I lost an entire week. Hell of a way to end a solstice though.

Welcome, friend. You look like you've traveled your fair share.

[VIDEO]

[patchricide]

[Her camera might be a little blurry. Almost like she was drinking something, and spat it all over the camera, and had to wipe it off in a haste.]

Coran?!

Coran, did you-- did you lose an eye?!

[... forgive her, she's still in season 1.]

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[shiro2hero]

[Okay, normally, this is the point where everyone would stare blankly at the screen. Including people who know this particular voice.]

[But, with things being turned on their heads lately, with everything being rough on Allura lately...]

[Instead of a blank stare, he's just grinning when he turns the video on.]

Flying robot lions? I think that's a myth.

voice;

[brokeassgoing]

Sounds like maybe you oughta not get with the mixing pot of cultures. Since whatever a Wabbercock is had you down and out.

I know about those loud kids, yeah. They belong to you?

[VIDEO]

[imoustacheyou]

[EXCUSE YOU OLD CODGER??? RUDE. 150% RUDE!!

But seeing as Coran isn't a telepath and doesn't know the amount of shade and disrespect just thrown at him, he simply puts his hand on his hip and nods gravely, as if the topic of Wabbernock's is truly a dire one.]

Dangerous folk, those Wabbernocks. Always lucky to come out of it with just a handful of days.

[And, after a good few more seconds of solemn silence, Coran's perking right up at the mention of travel.]

More than you could possibly imagine! We've had to turn our ship to almost every corner of the universe, lately.

Re: [VIDEO]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Hohohohohohoooooh man! Then that means you've got your fair share of stories too!

Tell you what. I'm from a more...antiquated civilization. But I also know how to barter with the best of them.

Seems to me like you're looking for some information. How about we trade? Stories for info?

I think that sounds fair.

[VIDEO]

[imoustacheyou]

[Ah, hold on. He knows that voice. Even if he does have to squint for a moment at that blurry picture to-- aha!]

Princess! [Now that is a relief. He honestly didn't want to think too much about what he would have done if she hadn't been here.] An eye-- what? Oh, this?

[He leans in conspiratorially, reaching up with a hand to pull the patch away from his eye.]

I'm in disguise! Couldn't surround myself with pirates without blending in!

[VIDEO]

[patchricide]

Pirates?! Oh, I knew I should have gotten the full timeline from Hunk, or Lance! [but not Keith sorry Keith]

What happened? The castle wasn't boarded, was it?

[nishizono]

flying WHAT now??? those are a thing?

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[imoustacheyou]

[Oh come on, his stories aren't that confusing! They're actually quite informative! And entertaining! They leave everyone (just him) in stitches!

Still, Coran perks up at that familiar voice. Allura and Shiro? That's as good a start as he could have hoped for, honestly. Much better than when they'd been separated by that wormhole malfunction.]

Oh really? I think I know a few planets that might disagree with you.

voice;

[imoustacheyou]

Ha! Trust me, if you had a taste of what Wabbernocks can cook up, you'd be telling a different story. One sip from a Wabber pot and you might as well be on the moon!

[Loud kids, huh? Guess that means Lance is here, too.]

Belong to me? Oh no, I help with some of their training and nutritional needs, but they belong to Shiro.

[Just. You know. Casually throwing Shiro under the bus here.]

[imoustacheyou]

[Oh! Could this be? Texting??? Someone sending him -- him!! -- a message via a written medium?

Finally. A chance to prove he's not as much of an old man as Allura and the paladins seem to think he is!]

They are indeed! Five flying robot lions, to be exact!
Coran

[Yes. Oh yes. He is most definitely young and "hip".]

[nishizono]

[ oh god it's like talking to sasayama ]

you know your name shows up when you reply, right.

how big are these lions? can you ride them?
do they ROAR, more importantly.

[imoustacheyou]

[At the mere mention of bartering, Coran leans a little closer to the TAB, eyebrows quirked upward at the offer.]

Stories for information? Hmmmm.... [Give him a moment, Darin, he has to make a show about mulling this over.] I think we might be able to... come to an agreement.

[A quick pause, before he leans back, almost looking a bit... smug.]

Two pieces of information for a quarter of a story.

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[shiro2hero]

[Coran, buddy, half the time you sound like you're making up words.]

[But still, it's good to see him again. They're really all back together now, aren't they?]

Sounds fake, but... all right. If you say so, I guess I'll buy it.

[ALL JOKING ASIDE...]

... did something happen to your eye?

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[inconsequence]

[Does this one fancy himself the comedian, or the dramatist? Either way, he is hardly the first to mention something so highly specific as flying mechanized felines, absurd as it may sound.

If he wishes to hear of traditions, why not indulge him? With a story that may or may not be fabricated, but stories do not need to be true to be believed. They simply have to be told.]

Stories, holidays, culture...I could regale you for quite some time, sir.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin leans in, doing his best to hide the slight grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. He acts totally flabbergasted.]

Two pieces for a quarter? Good sir, you must think me a fool! Any traveler worth his salt knows any good story should be divided into thirds. Why, you're trying to get valuable information with but a mere preamble!

One and a half pieces of information for the proper third. But--and I can't stress this enough--you'll have to offer up a foreword before I give you the first bit. After all, I need to know if the story will catch my ear.

[Your move, Coran~]

[VIDEO]

[imoustacheyou]

Boarded? No, no! The castle's fine, Allura. [At least it better be. He kind of left Shiro guarding both it and Allura. ... while also having some one on one time with his lion, but still.]

We went to the swap moon! [Which honestly, he doesn't know why she doesn't remember that. She'd been pretty angry about them 1. going to it in the first place, and 2. not bringing her.

... but it's also pretty hard to be actively confused when he's talking about one of his favorite things of all time. Which is probably why Coran is grinning like a kid in a candy store and not... y'know... still trying to reassure her...]

[VIDEO]

[patchricide]

The swap moon.

[Her tone drops in disappointment at the end, in a "oh, that explains so much" kind of way. In parts, because 1. they went in the first place, 2. they probably didn't bring her, and 3. it's going to be that much more difficult to get him to settle down and listen about why she doesn't know about this already.]

[She gives a resigned sigh.]

And you're fresh back from there, I presume? Did we at least get what we needed? More importantly, do you remember anything after?

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[imoustacheyou]

Good, good! Because if you didn't, then I'd have to take a crack at piloting-- actually, I do already have a uniform put together. And the Black Lion is much more polite than the Red Lion...

[THANKFULLY, Shiro's changing the subject. And distracting Coran from the thoughts of capes and helmet designs.]

No, no, no, nothing happened to it! [He flicks up the patch, winking as he does so.] Just wanted to fit in a bit more on the swap moon! Didn't want to be an easy target for anyone with sticky fingers, so I decided we should go full pirate to fit in! [Look how proud he is, Shiro. Showing off his pirate get up as if that makes him look even slightly threatening.]

[imoustacheyou]

Of course it does! That's the whole point of a signature!

Oh, they're your typical ship size. Large enough to house a variety of weapons systems, life support systems, general storage. So they're not exactly hard to miss.

[As for the roaring...]

Wouldn't be much point to them being lions if they couldn't roar!
Coran

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[shiro2hero]

I... really don't think that's a good idea. On any level.

[Coran, no. Don't do that, please.]

Swap... moon? Is that real? [Guess who's even further behind than Allura? That's right, this guy.] And "we"? Who's all turning pirate?

... did anyone tell you what's going on here?

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[imoustacheyou]

[Oh, you know. A little of column A, little of column B.]

Please, regale away! My knowledge of humans isn't as extensive as it should be, still. Ah! Assuming you are a human, of course. From what I can tell, they are the predominant species here!
Coran

[Which is still strange, considering how humanity back home hadn't even realized they weren't alone in the universe yet.]

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[inconsequence]

You would be hard-pressed to find one who would regard me as such. The jury's still out on what I count as, exactly. A demon, a corpse, an anomaly...

Why, accounts may vary.

[How unfortunate that humanity isn't alone in the universe after all. It's what that entire miserable species deserves, really.]

But I doubt you wish to hear one anomaly's existential musings.

[imoustacheyou]

[He lets out a low whistle.]

You strike a hard bargain. [Coran hums low for a good few seconds, honestly just for effect at this point. Darin made a good offer and they both know it.] Tell you what, I'm feeling generous today, so I'll give you that foreward and a third, if you give me a piece of that half information after the foreward.

[Woe unto anyone listening in on this.]