thisavrou | video ;; action for Lion House

video ;; action for Lion House

So... what'd I miss?

[What's up TAB network, it's your friendly neighborhood spaceman out of hospital after a disaster mission to that hellscape planet. Looking halfway decent -- surely those circles under his eyes are normal and, you know, right arm in a sling is fine. Totally okay.]

[Managing the TAB is a little difficult since he's got a bag full of armor slung over his good shoulder but oops. Oh well.]

Anything I need to get updated on? New faces or issues?

[On his feet and already trying to leap back into work. Good going buddy.]

For anyone I've missed, I'm Shiro -- and if anyone out there knows the name "Voltron", let me know.

[Because if Hunk showed up while he was out, others might have too.]

[After making that little announcement, he'all continue on to the Lion House in the 5th district. And probably stand in the front walk for a minute to brace himself before marching on inside.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I didn't disappear. I've been busy.

I've been making solo runs through Eosoros for extra cash. Alright? Happy?

I'm hardly wanted around here so I tried to do something productive since I can't get drunk.

And I was at the hospital. Pidge met me there after I dropped you off. It's where she broke my nose.

By the way? Hell of a right hook that kid has. You should be proud.

You... you what?

[Well, that wasn't the answer he was expecting. Not even remotely. And it shows on his face. The way it goes pale and the tired lines stand out even more starkly.]

[No, he's not happy. He's downright horrified. Maybe he really should be resting, because there's a rushing sensation in his ears that forms into words he doesn't remember saying -- Sorry... I let you down...]

Why would you do that?

Really? Nothing about Pidge breaking my nose? Wow.

[He pours himself another glass of blue juice.]

...Training.

[No, he'll process that when he feels less like you just punched him in the ribs.]

[And after he sits down. Thankfully, there's kitchen chairs in here.]

... why?

So that you never get hurt again.

...Why else?

[He sighs and takes a seat across from his friend.]

Shiro...you almost got yourself killed over something I could have stopped in an instant if I wasn't so terrified of flexing my muscles every now and then. I could have stopped that monster dead in its tracks, but I opted to stare at it until the last possible second because I know the difference between what damage it would do to me versus you.

My inaction almost cost you your life. So...I've been working myself...training myself so I don't just stare gormlessly at danger and instead can react appropriately and accordingly.

I can solo Eosoros in my sleep now. I've done it several times already.

[I let you down.]

[In more ways than one.]

[He's looking down at the table, not the person sitting across from him. Human hand splayed across it and closing slowly into a fist.]

I didn't ask you to do this. To push yourself like this -- why... why would you think I wanted that from you?

[Why do people keep throwing themselves into harm's way for his sake. Like he's ... why do you think a monster like you-- echoes briefly through his thoughts until he throttles it down with an effort.]

You didn't make me do anything back there. I pushed you. I remember that -- I made a decision, and it backfired. Why is this all your fault?

Do you really think I'm never going to get hurt again? Or that I never have before?

Because I have a power, Shiro! Because I have a power that, if I would just use it from time to time, could help people! It could save people! But I'm so terrified of becoming like my brother, of letting Diomuhr take hold of me, that I hide!

I never told you, did I. The story of the scar on my back?

I got it when I tried to run from the demons that slaughtered my family. It's the only wound I've ever received that was deep enough to leave a scar. And the only reason I wasn't cut completely in two?

Is because my brother pushed me away; got between me and the blade. He got cut in half when it should have been both of us.

It's my fault because I have a power and responsibility to use it. But I don't. Because I'm scared. And it almost cost me my best friend.

[He pushes himself to his feet, squares his shoulders, and speaks with unwavering confidence.]

Whether you get hurt again or not isn't the point. The point is, I'm done hiding what I can do when it means I can protect the people that matter to me.

So, for once? Let me shoulder some of this responsibility with you.

[They're a lot more alike than he thought. His "power" might not destroy worlds or monsters or cause the end of days, but it's too much, sometimes, all the same. And he'd only started really using it in a moment of crisis, too.]

[All of this sounds familiar. Not things he's ever said out loud, but things he's thought. That he needs to be better, stronger, more in control. That maybe if he were all those things, maybe Allura wouldn't have been captured. Maybe she would never have had to throw herself away like that.]

[He's silent, for the most part, still staring down at the table. At his own clenched fingers. He looks up, very slowly, matching that confidence with determination, and steel.]

... If you're going to be responsible, then you need to look after yourself. Like you, and everyone else, keep nagging me to.

[Like he doesn't. Oops.]

I'm not blaming you, I will not blame you. You're not the only one who has a duty to protect people. Or who should have been better. But you can start here.

By stopping this. All of this. Stop running back to that place.

I will, if you take your own advice.

I know you have a lot at stake back home and I'm sure there's plenty more you haven't told me.

But you also know that, right now, the only thing we can do is keep persevering. Keep moving forward one step at a time. Worrying about things we have no control over don't do us any good.

If you're willing to meet me halfway? Then I'll do the same.

I can't promise I won't keep going back to Eosoros. Truth is? It's been doing wonders for me. It's a safe place for me to train my body and to vent my frustrations. I can push myself without fear of people side eyeing me. But...I'll take a break from it for awhile. I was using it as a means of escape anyway. I couldn't stand to be here knowing how Pidge and the Princess hate me for what happened to you.

Then you need to go back less. All right? It's going to be open for a long time -- you'll have plenty of time to cut loose and train, without exhausting yourself.

[Or making everyone worry. As for the rest, well... can he even do that? Is that even allowed? He has so much he's got to live up to. So much to try and make up for.]

[How is it even remotely fair to sit around? Hasn't he done enough of that in the past week or so?]

I can try. It's not as easy as just... taking a day off. For me.

[He figures it's fine to leave it at that and move on. Because there's more important questions. More concerning ones.]

What do you mean 'they hate you'? You can't be serious. They're not that judgmental.

[Besides, both of them should know how he is. How he just sort of throws himself into the fray whenever necessary, without regard for himself, half the time. They should know that.]

[And not take it out on someone else.]

I'll talk to them, if that's the case.

[He opened his mouth to counter, to tell Shiro he had to trust in them enough to be able to take a day off, when Shiro plows on ahead. He's not done with that particular thread yet, but they can always circle back.]

[Darin gestures to his nose.]

Pidge. Nose. Broke it.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame her at all. Hell, I'm damn proud that she packs that much of a wallop and you should be too. But let's face it, I'm not exactly winning any popularity contests since it's my fault you wound up the way you did.

Plus, Allu--...the Princess...didn't really care for me before this. Despite whatever progress we've made, I don't...think I want to know what she thinks of me now.

Edited 2017-02-21 00:21 (UTC)

... Pidge used her bayard on Lance on a regular basis. She gets angry, she lashes out, and she moves on. It happens.

[Because, yes. He can absolutely believe Pidge punched him. But if she were holding a grudge, he'd have heard about that by now.]

Besides, I told you. It was my choice. You can't take responsibility for something I decided to do.

[Allura... though... Allura he doesn't know how to explain. He can't imagine she's thrilled with him, either. Would she see it as a waste of her own sacrifice? If he kept throwing himself into fights, here? He just asks, after a long pause:]

Have you asked her?

[Knowing her, it's one surefire way to find out a definitive answer.]

So I've heard. I guess where I come from, breaking someone's nose means something different.

[Darin doesn't answer Shiro right away. Instead, he takes his seat again and clasps his hands on the table, fiddling with his thumbs.]

...No. I haven't.

I'm afraid to.

[He lowers his head in frustration as he answers, his voice meek. Tired.]

Edited 2017-02-21 01:15 (UTC)

Well, from where Pidge comes from, it means she's mad, but as long as she's still talking to you... she'll forgive you.

[He should know, right? If she can forgive him for having left her brother behind...]

You should.

It's better to clear the air, then sit here wondering. I... I can promise you that. [He shakes his head, looking at him directly.] Talk to her. Try to.

It's more than I've been able to do.

Heh...that's easy for you to say. Really.

Before all this happened we...I don't know.

We were talking. Just...y'know, talking. And I started to feel like maybe I was...

Well, no maybes about it; I was wrong about her. Yeah we still argue but...I don't know. I can relate to her. I think.

I don't know. There was progress. I was trying.. I thought maybe I'd finally stopped looking like such a...

[He wrestles with words and grunts in annoyance and frustration. This was a hell of a lot easier when he just hated her arbitrarily, but here he was wondering what she thought about all of this.]

[He stands and starts to pace.]

It's easier to just assume she hates me. I'd rather just think that and not have to hear it. And I know that makes me a coward but...

But...I don't know. I deserve it. I know in some capacity I deserve it.

[He realizes how many times he's said "I don't know" and just turns to Shiro with a helpless shrug. He's lost right now.]

Edited 2017-02-21 01:25 (UTC)

No, Darin. It's not easy for me to say. There's... things I need to talk with her about, too. Things I'm not ready to -- I might never be ready to.

[Most of them involving guilt. And most of them he doesn't know how to say without coming off as ungrateful. That he's angry with her. When he doesn't even know really what he is.]

[But back to the real problem.]

I'm glad you tried. I really am. [Then he shakes his head. Still direct. Still honest.] You don't.

I really can't think of why you would. People make mistakes -- and don't you say this is because of whatever it is in your head.

Don't be me. Don't take the easy way out and ignore it. You're better than that. And if she's angry with you, then figure out how to fix it.

Better than you? Either you're flattering me or your still loopy from the painkillers.

Speaking of, you're gonna get a kick out of the things you said.

[He laughs and takes his seat, a little more relaxed.]

Why are dealing with Princesses such a pain?

[He says this with a lopsided grin, a teasing tone in his voice]

You'd think two guys like us would be capable of talking to one without turning into a jabbering mess.

Be better. I'm not on anything right now.

... Lucio said something about cookies.

[But at least Hunk is actually here and he didn't hallucinate that.]

[He shrugs his good shoulder at the question.]

It's... complicated, on my end. She's in charge of us. And... well. I told you why.

[Yeah see he owes her big time. He sort of blurted that out during the last argument between them he'd witnessed.]

Oh believe me, there's more than just that.

[Darin just lazily drops his chin into his hand.]

...You know, I think if we just talk to her like a person and not as a Princess and a leader...I think she'd really appreciate that.

... More than the cookies?

[Way to make him Concerned, Darin.]

I know. I know she would, and I agree, that's best. But... there's... things I don't know how to say to her. No matter how I bring it up.

Definitely more than just cookies.

...Why not just start with...'thank you?'

You said it yourself, you owe her your life. Complicated or not, she's just like the rest of us. Maybe instead of apologizing for 'not being good enough' thanking her for being there could get the conversation going.

Great. Do I... want to know?

[No, Shiro. You don't.]

I don't know. [He takes a moment to push his good hand through his hair.] It feels inadequate, I guess. Like just 'thank you' isn't enough for what she did.

Maybe that's stupid. I don't know.

[You said that already.]

Yeah but...the way I see it? Before she's a princess, she's a girl. She's gotta be close to our age, right? Twenty two? Twenty three?

... try over ten thousand. You'll be closer.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT?!

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