video - this is stupid

[knaval]

Uh-- is this working? Hello?

[the screen picture is perfectly showing riptide's panicked expression.]

I have absolutely no idea-- uh. My name is Riptide! I was with the crew of the Moira, but now I have no idea where I am. Crazy, right? I think I passed out? I have no idea. Anyway, this is a call for help! I've been approached by people and-- it's awful! I need an extraction immediately!

[he groans dramatically.]

They want me to get a job! [he was recommended to get a job.] A job! Like-- like being employed somewhere! Being paid to have responsibilities! I think one of them even said I can buy a-- a place to live?! I... I need to sit down. I have literally been tortured before and I've never, at this exact moment, been more uncomfortable in my entire life!

Comments

[knaval]

Naw, I have one built into m'head!

[beautifulspaceraptor]

That simplifies things then! I will put out beforehand that the conditions of my employment includes giving me a bi-monthly report that you're alive, of course. And three mandatory medical check-ups per year.

[knaval]

Cool, cool. My starting request is 1000 sencs an hour.

[beautifulspaceraptor]

[ ... Someone apparently doesn't know how to economy. ]

Your potential employer makes 20 sencs an hour on good day, Riptide.

[knaval]

Then they're crap employers! What the hell are they doing??

[HOW DOES CURRENCY WORK??]

[beautifulspaceraptor]

Well, you see, I, your potential employer, get my money from the customers. I do this by giving a service to the customers, in this case, tech repair. Each time I repair something, I make money. Usually it's like, 30 to 50 sencs for each repair. More if it's a very complicated repair job. The money is dependent on how much work I get.

[ He also has a lot of money from the whole selling off synthetic whale mineral formula thing, but while he's willing to put some of it into paying people who need jobs, he's not about to blow all of it on just Riptide. The money had originally been saved for crew emergency.

He's pretty sure Riptide's primary needs were already covered under his stipend. ]

[knaval]

Ugh. Math.

[riptide grunts.]

Alright, I'll take your offer. Thanks, bro.

[beautifulspaceraptor]

Alright, consider yourself hired then. If anyone asks you for paperwork, just fill in that you're employed by Nihlus Kryik, company name: Fried Circuits.

[knaval]

Awesome. That's the tab name?

[RIPTIDE NO]

[beautifulspaceraptor]

... You know what. I'm coming over and giving you a crash course in basic finances.

[ Spirits give him some manner of patience. ]

And if you put anything under that tab, I will find you and put adverts for my business on your face until you've paid it all back.

[knaval]

I wasn't really taught much math when they were shoving how to murder people into my head ten seconds after I came online! Money is hard!

[and riptide is even worse at dealing with it than you might think. or maybe exactly as bad as you might think.]