voice;

[kidjoy]

[It’s been a long time since she’s addressed the community. While she’s always sounded annoyed, now there’s a heartache behind the anger. An exhaustion, a defeat.]

Back in the desert we got this story that gets told to every greenie that shows up in the sand. That it don’t matter if you went and got dusted ‘cause your shadow still lives on. [A shaky, sharp breath.] Killjoys never die.

But in this place, it ain’t true. The desert doesn’t believe in death but here there’s no life to begin with. Light’s out is just light’s out. [The anger in her voice picks up, deep and visceral.] All this place gives is empty promise after empty promise, dangles lil’ shiny pieces of hopin’ right in your face then laughs it away again. Just makes everythin’ you were ever told one damn cruel joke.

[There’s a few moments of nothing of but heavy breathing and snotty snuffles before she starts again, voice forcibly more calm.]

So why don’t all you rat kings and thrill seekers and wannabe white suits give me a new story worth believin' in?

Comments

voice;

[brokeassgoing]

Surviving's bout the only story worth believing it. Ain't the same as living, is it? [its harsh but its true] Is it worth it, for the little moments of sunshine on your face? You tell me.

voice;

[kidjoy]

[The harsh realities are the only truth she's ever known, so she can't disagree there.]

Is it worth it when ya know it's just gonna be taken away? Havin' somethin' for just a lil' while can make it worse when it's gone than never havin' it at all.

voice;

[brokeassgoing]

Pretty sure that's a quote in a book like that-- or some shitty poem. So what, you wanna go back in time and never be born? You can't deny yourself stuff just because it'll be gone some day. That's being a masochist.

voice;

[kidjoy]

It'd have to be better than feelin' like ya got a hole in your chest. You know how shitty it is to have somethin' ripped away from you over and over?

voice

[worn_wings]

[ it takes him a moment to ask the obvious question. if she wanted to answer it she probably would've just said, but still. she's a kid, sometimes it's better to get facts sorted out first. ]

What happened?

voice

[kidjoy]

[There's some part of her that honestly didn't think anyone would bother to ask. It keeps her silent for a few long moments.]

Kobra's gone.

voice

[worn_wings]

Went home?

[ Likeliest answer, but you never know. The name doesn't mean anything to him but he can guess it's someone of hers. Family, friend. He doesn't really know if she's got anyone else. ]

voice

[kidjoy]

More than just goin' home. [Home and dead meant the same thing in this instance.] He's gone. Only one I had here and now he's gone again.

[Normally she'd save this sort of emotional outburst until she was alone but Kobra had been felt like her only lifeline on the ship and she's too gone herself to reel in it.]

text

[inconsequence]

[A child in distress will call for help. It is not the fault of the child; it is simply what children do. It is a failure of their kind and a failure of the species they belong to, regardless of what it might be.

Children call for help. They scream into the darkness.

You should exercise caution, Girl, upon whose names you call in the dark.]

Those stories were always lies. You simply caught on quicker than most do.

text

[kidjoy]

[She should recognized the name and avoid contact. She'd had only one run-in with the Chara that came before, but once had been enough. They'd never threatened her directly, in fact they'd help her and Robin steal badly needed transport. But she'd watched them murder men as their way of '"helping" and watched them do so with a smile.

But she doesn't recognize the name on the TAB screen, not in her frazzled state.]

lies here. not everywhere.

think i already kind of knew it though

text

[inconsequence]

[She would do well to remain cautious. They have been informed, rather reliably, that they are not human, and should therefore simply pretend to be one. They smile, and it is a creepy face. That is their lot in life.]

Your insistence that lies are not everywhere is why you are in such distress now.

[You idiot.]

text

[kidjoy]

im distressed cause this place keeps fucking us over. has nothing to do with what i believed back home

besides if you aint part of the desert how do you know it aint true?

voice;

[redshitlord]

H... hey.

[Wow, now there's a tone or two he can sympathize with right now.]

You still... wanna see the racecar?

voice;

[kidjoy]

Hey.

[She sounds confused. It's not the reaction she expected but it's no less a welcome one.]

I guess? I mean, yeah. Always like racecars.

voice;

[redshitlord]

[He figured he'd just offer. You know, to take her mind off whatever it is.]

I'll take you for a ride, if you wanted. I mean. I don't have any super awesome stories, but...

I'm still pretty fast.

voice;

[kidjoy]

[Was there ever a nicer Cybertronian?]

You're a robot. Any story you got has to be awesome just 'cause you exist.

So yeah. Could do for a ride.

[warandpeace]

I've lost a lot, more than once. Even before I came aboard the ship.

It never gets any easier. I don't think any amount of stories will fix that. No story really has an end.

What the long version of the story you tell in the desert?

[kidjoy]

Never? We're just supposed to carry it all the time? It don't seem right.

Dr. Death used to say it when he was signing off sometimes. The other DJs would too. One of them used to tell everyone- [She pauses, starts again.] He used to tell me about the Witch. How she'd find your soul and keep ya from bein' alone if someone cared enough to put your things in the box. You live on 'cause there's people out there lookin' out for you, even if you're just a ghost.

Cherri tells it a lot a better.

[warandpeace]

The sting wears off a little at a time, but it always hurts when it happens again.

[Dr. Death is a hell of a name.]

So that's why you cared so much about recognizing the dead. I think there's a lot of sense in that story.

Voice

[crowkiller]

It's not just this place that dangles the pretty things in front of you. That could happen anywhere you go.

[But....still it's a terrible thing that shouldn't happen.]

What was that shiny thing you had your eye on?

Voice

[kidjoy]

I've never had somethin' like this happen anywhere else.

My people.

Voice

[crowkiller]

Be glad it hasn't.

They went home then?

[farmboyjedi]

Nice to meet another desert person...although I can honestly say I don't miss it at all.

[kidjoy]

Yeah? And why not?

[farmboyjedi]

There just wasn't much there. It was a backwater world where not much happened and we spent most of life just surviving. I just wanted to leave for most of my childhood. It wasn't always easy even after, but things turned out better because of it.