thisavrou | voice;

[It’s been a long time since she’s addressed the community. While she’s always sounded annoyed, now there’s a heartache behind the anger. An exhaustion, a defeat.]

Back in the desert we got this story that gets told to every greenie that shows up in the sand. That it don’t matter if you went and got dusted ‘cause your shadow still lives on. [A shaky, sharp breath.] Killjoys never die.

But in this place, it ain’t true. The desert doesn’t believe in death but here there’s no life to begin with. Light’s out is just light’s out. [The anger in her voice picks up, deep and visceral.] All this place gives is empty promise after empty promise, dangles lil’ shiny pieces of hopin’ right in your face then laughs it away again. Just makes everythin’ you were ever told one damn cruel joke.

[There’s a few moments of nothing of but heavy breathing and snotty snuffles before she starts again, voice forcibly more calm.]

So why don’t all you rat kings and thrill seekers and wannabe white suits give me a new story worth believin' in?

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Surviving's bout the only story worth believing it. Ain't the same as living, is it? [its harsh but its true] Is it worth it, for the little moments of sunshine on your face? You tell me.

[ it takes him a moment to ask the obvious question. if she wanted to answer it she probably would've just said, but still. she's a kid, sometimes it's better to get facts sorted out first. ]

What happened?

[The harsh realities are the only truth she's ever known, so she can't disagree there.]

Is it worth it when ya know it's just gonna be taken away? Havin' somethin' for just a lil' while can make it worse when it's gone than never havin' it at all.

[There's some part of her that honestly didn't think anyone would bother to ask. It keeps her silent for a few long moments.]

Kobra's gone.

Pretty sure that's a quote in a book like that-- or some shitty poem. So what, you wanna go back in time and never be born? You can't deny yourself stuff just because it'll be gone some day. That's being a masochist.

It'd have to be better than feelin' like ya got a hole in your chest. You know how shitty it is to have somethin' ripped away from you over and over?

Yes. I do. [a pause] And all you can do is fill yourself with other things. TO keep going. That's the truth of it.

[A child in distress will call for help. It is not the fault of the child; it is simply what children do. It is a failure of their kind and a failure of the species they belong to, regardless of what it might be.

Children call for help. They scream into the darkness.

You should exercise caution, Girl, upon whose names you call in the dark.]

Those stories were always lies. You simply caught on quicker than most do.

Went home?

[ Likeliest answer, but you never know. The name doesn't mean anything to him but he can guess it's someone of hers. Family, friend. He doesn't really know if she's got anyone else. ]

That's what everyone always says. Keep runnin'. Don't you ever just get tired of it? Loosin' people, bein' alone. Don't you get tired of that?

More than just goin' home. [Home and dead meant the same thing in this instance.] He's gone. Only one I had here and now he's gone again.

[Normally she'd save this sort of emotional outburst until she was alone but Kobra had been felt like her only lifeline on the ship and she's too gone herself to reel in it.]

Every damn day, till I was ready to let the stray cats in my old place eat me till I was dead. But I kept going anyway...who the fuck else are you gonna spite, aside from yourself? Or God, if he's out there.

[She should recognized the name and avoid contact. She'd had only one run-in with the Chara that came before, but once had been enough. They'd never threatened her directly, in fact they'd help her and Robin steal badly needed transport. But she'd watched them murder men as their way of '"helping" and watched them do so with a smile.

But she doesn't recognize the name on the TAB screen, not in her frazzled state.]

lies here. not everywhere. think i already kind of knew it though

I ain't sayin' I'm givin' up. I'm just- [She doesn't know. She's just angry and arguing is as good an outlet as any.] I'm just sayin' it's all shit. All of it. Everything.

[She would do well to remain cautious. They have been informed, rather reliably, that they are not human, and should therefore simply pretend to be one. They smile, and it is a creepy face. That is their lot in life.]

Your insistence that lies are not everywhere is why you are in such distress now.

[You idiot.]

You're not wrong. It's the worst. So hold on tight, I guess.

Always easier said then done.

[Gloomy kid is gloomy.]

Don't I know it.

[hes clearly the best at peptalks but:]

You had anything to eat yet?

im distressed cause this place keeps fucking us over. has nothing to do with what i believed back home besides if you aint part of the desert how do you know it aint true?

[Speaker of the year.]

I got some cans of Power Pup left.

[That's a no.]

I've no idea what that means but I kinda feel like burgers. You want one?

You offerin' to buy me food?

Yeeeaaaah, that's what's on the tin.

[My, what language. And yet children are uncouth, and everyone knows this.]

Acceptance of lies as a foundation of our collective worlds preempts disappointment. It is the nature of things.

[There's a pause before she answers, voice quiet. She's not that hungry, but she's spent the last few days avoiding contact. A little company wouldn't hurt.]

I could eat.

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