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[ Ever since he'd arrived, Bull's first thought had been that he'd stepped through an Eluvian. That was preposterous, there hadn't been a single one in sight in the great hall of Skyhold. There wasn't one here, either. It was what had made the most sense– go from one realm to another without so much as blinking. Enjoy a bit of a tickle and tug at the midsection. ]

Figure talking to this little guy is better than trying to type something out. [ Or that was the gist of the explanation he'd gotten when a kind crew member had given him a quick rundown of the device. Though, Bull could really do without this so-called TAB. ] Most of you probably have yet to see the size of my hands. I would be writing in a whole new language within the first two letters.

It wouldn't be pretty.

[ This giant looking horned man shouldn't need to show his hands as proof, he practically filled the entire screen, hunkered forward just to be sure he can be made out. He gave a smirking grin and cocked his head to the right. ]

So... Aside from what I've been hearing around camp, there should be more dirt to dish with what's been going on. Who's got it? I've got a few jars I could fill. [ Shame those jars couldn't be filled with bees. ] And one last thing– anyone seen or heard from a witch? She goes by the name of Morrigan.

This whole thing reeks of her.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes it is quite miraculous, my sprouting up out of nowhere, because you are so easily missed, clearly.

[So it begins.

Of course you are pleased to see him! Who isn't pleased to see Dorian Pavus?...and his mustache is fabulous, everyone knows this!]

The one and the same depending on the world state you come from. Apparently they come in female and male variety, who knew? It is like a Hawke collectors set, perhaps Hawke the elf will make an appearance or Hawke the dwarf.

[It's not being meta it's just being realistic.]

You wouldn't be the first to spout around me. I'm surprised you have it in you, Dorian.

[ To miss him. To sprout. If Bull had a cup of tea, he would be drinking it with his pinky up.

No one should be surprised to see/hear it beginning. A 'Vint and a qunari walk into a bar... ]

You mean it's more like a Hawke Jackpot™. I was good with one.

Let's not get mushy, enduring these surroundings has been difficult enough.

[There was missing Bull and then there was missing Bull. He was a bit large and stand outish among their merry band.]

I was good with one as well, I am starting to have a preference actually, for the tall and handsome one.

[He's kidding Marian.]

For a mage, you're the least mushy I know. Doesn't change the fact on how squishy you are.

[ Everyone misses Bull. ]

You forget who you're talking to?

[ Hey, he's tall and handsome. ]

I'm hardly squishy either.

[Dorian has been so preoccupied that he hasn't had time to even ponder who he's actually missed.]

Should I clarify that he's a mage too?

[What on Thedas has Dorian been trapped into saying?]

You might be. Who knows.

[ He hasn't had the opportunity to test things out between them. ]

Look at you, forging friendships. Are they both mages?

I'm not going to let you club me over the head any time soon, so I suppose you will just have to be curious on that score.

[They are taking about fighting, aren't they?]

I'm likable, most of the time. As far as I know they are indeed both mages.

Who said anything about clubbing?

[ Who knows anymore. That's the thing about them. ]

You have the odd day. Well isn't that just something.

I did...that is where we are going with this, yes?

[The whole Qunari vs 'Vint thing and all.]

I'm utterly charming and whimsical, not to mention devastatingly handsome, traits that work well in my favor. Hm, yes, I think it's quite something...but they are supposed to be the same Hero of Kirkwall.

If that's what gets you going, sure.

[ Right. That. ]

Like I said, you have your days. Hmm, is that so?

Going for what, exactly?

[Because you are being completely cryptic in all of this.]

I have several of them. And yes, at least that's based on what I know of them.

You're smart. I'm not going to spell it out for you.

[ Cryptic can sometimes be a good thing. ]

And Skyhold? Do either of them know of that?

Intelligent as I may be you say the most unfathomable things at times.

[He's being kind here.]

I know she doesn't.

Guess you haven't got it all figured out like you say you do.

[ Get with it, Pavus. ]

So where's she from if she's not from Skyhold?

That has less to do with me and more to do with you.

[He is with it, you just need to make more sense, Bull.]

Before all of that, the Inquisition, the rift, Corypheus. Well behind the times I think, but we don't talk about that.

I'm an easy man to figure out. There's not much to it. I suppose I could give you a C for effort.

[ He does make sense, he makes a lot of sense! ]

Ah, the years we don't talk about. Got it. Then they're ancient. They must look good for being so old, or else it's a thing you mages do. I knew there was a reason you looked so young.

C? I suppose you would be ranked C as a spy. What sort of spy is easy to figure out.

[Yes, he makes nonsense!]

Different timeline, it's not that they are old, it's just that they haven't caught up yet and I am young thank you very much.

You're getting it mixed up, Dorian.

[ Dorian is nonsense! ]

To think they're... What do you 'Vints call it when something goes out of season? Old-fashioned? [ Makes total sense. ] Really? How old are you again?

You mean the man from the spy?

[That's just low. Low Bull.]

I would simply call them Southerners, but I suppose old fashioned works as well. They are both around five years behind us, give or take. [Nothing makes sense at all.] I was born Dragon 9:11, that puts me at 30 years old.

The man and the spy are one.

[ Sorry, not sorry. ]

Pah, you're still a baby.

So the moral of the story is: don't trust the man.

[Spyyyy. Qunari spy!]

Now there's a stretch. I do have all of my grown up teeth, I'll have you know.

I'm one of the few you can trust.

[ Puhleaaaassseeeeeee. ]

Wouldn't know. You haven't bitten me yet.

I'm not feeling very reassured by this.

[He speaks nothing but truths.]

Please, all I have to do is smile and you can tell something that obvious. No need for the extremes.

Good to know I'm still good at my job.

[ Lies. ]

But then where's the fun, Dorian? We all enjoy a good bite or two.

Alright, alright. C-plus.

[Never!]

A gentle nibble in certain situations...we are not having this conversion.

(no subject)

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