timeframes: (pic#9219555)
⚙ dave strider ([personal profile] timeframes) wrote in [community profile] thisavrou2016-10-28 09:49 pm

video; 00:01

[Dave, social media mogul, definitely has a lock on how to work a fancy future smart watch - you’ll be greeted by the sight of a be-shaded blonde and also a gray dude with horns (and no shades, sadly) crowding the same screen.]


Yo. I get it, we gotta show our faces on here - give you the low-down on the fresh new shit in town, lay out what the fuck we’re about. So back on my home planet they call me Owen Wilson, but you can call me Dave that’s cool. [Maybe it’s his middle name.]

Right. And I’m beloved and seriously underrated Jen Aniston co-star Ben Stiller. You may refer to me exclusively as Mr. Stiller. Assuming you’re given permission to address us at all. For now, all of you have probationary permission to speak to us, so consider your questions carefully.

Think we’re supposed to list all our superpowers and shit, bro, give the club a heads up as to what the fuck we can do. Actor, model, Oscar nominee, dated Sheryl Crow, recently coronated Troll King, fashion icon, DJ and rap artist. Also in the dope-ass driver’s seat of all your entertainment needs.

Yeah. Sure. We’re the king of all the trolls and all of that. I mean, listen. Between the two of us, we have some pretty fucking formidable superpowers. That’s all I’m going to say about it. I don’t actually see how it’s any of anyone’s business or why they need to know our powers anyway, so that’s pretty much all that needs to be said about it.

Oh yeah, also, I’m in charge of emotionally counseling you chucklefucks from now on. There will be some new policies put into place in the future, but more on that once I’ve determined where letting you whine on about your problems fits into my very busy schedule.


The dude has got shit to do. He'll pencil you in. Anyway, cool, icebreaker obligation friggin’ demolished, we have introduced the fuck out of ourselves. Weirdly probing questions, comments, concerns, whatever.


Don’t forget about the probation, though. I’m serious about that.

[Red = Dave, Gray = Karkat
gainedlove: (* Annoy Dog)

action;

[personal profile] gainedlove 2016-10-29 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
[...that was a lot of swear words. Will Toriel be mad if they talk with these two?]

[...EH.]

Hi, my name's Frisk! I don't think I ever met a troll before. D'you both got the same powers an' stuff?
bloodpressured: (sisterhood of the traveling rants)

[personal profile] bloodpressured 2016-10-29 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[She will be so mad because the swear words will never stop.]

Next question.
culver: goodjobself @ dw (arabella)

text;

[personal profile] culver 2016-10-29 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
Does everyone have superpowers where you are from?
culver: roleplay-reaction-icons @ tumblr (hey mama)

text;

[personal profile] culver 2016-10-29 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
What?
bloodpressured: (fifty first hates)

text;

[personal profile] bloodpressured 2016-10-29 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
YES. EVERY SINGLE ASSHOLE WHERE I'M FROM HAS COOL AND AMAZING SUPERPOWERS. YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE THESE SUPERPOWERS.
culver: seaverse @ lj (if i didn't have you)

text;

[personal profile] culver 2016-10-29 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
Can you tell me about them?
bloodpressured: (that don't believe in me)

Re: text;

[personal profile] bloodpressured 2016-10-29 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND IMAGINE WHATEVER SUPERPOWER YOU CAN DREAM OF. YOUR FAVORITE POWER. THAT'S THEM. THAT'S EXACTLY HOW THEY'RE LIKE.

NEXT QUESTION.
otiosity: (only one in kirkwall not crazy)

video;

[personal profile] otiosity 2016-10-29 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
What if my superpower is to be constantly emotionally distraught. Can I be counseled? Is there hope for me? What about spiritual counseling? Magical counseling? Counselor counseling? I feel like there are many bases to be covered here.
culver: goodjobself @ dw (music of the night)

text;

[personal profile] culver 2016-10-29 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
I have only met one person with superpowers and I do not think they would be my favorite.

Have you ever emotionally counselled someone before?
arcreact: (yes again)

video;

[personal profile] arcreact 2016-10-29 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
I was with you until you unironically used the phrase "troll king". Not even once, but twice.

[ So unfortunate. ]
culver: goodjobself @ dw (way less sad)

[personal profile] culver 2016-10-29 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
Not everyone. Some people are just people.
But yes I have seen a lot of robots. They look cool.
What is being a king like?
otiosity: (little bird brain)

[personal profile] otiosity 2016-10-29 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not sure I can wait. I'm at a breaking point. The emotional weight of being so famous and important and beautiful is starting to get to me. I'm fainting dramatically. But metaphorically only. I don't actually feel like fainting right now the ground is a bit hard.
embiggened: (one suspicious mofo)

video;

[personal profile] embiggened 2016-10-29 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
Your power is... internet trolling?

Ugh. I don't think that's actually a super power. It's a personality problem.
Edited 2016-10-29 03:31 (UTC)
gainedlove: (* Shoo)

OH MY GOD I MEANT VIDEO

[personal profile] gainedlove 2016-10-29 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
[WELP not like Frisk hasn't heard half of these already anyway!]

Huh? But you didn't answer!
Edited 2016-10-29 05:08 (UTC)
gainedlove: (* Hum)

oh lord that was supposed to be video don't tag while packing kids

[personal profile] gainedlove 2016-10-29 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
[That sounds like it's your problem, bruh.]

Is that like bein' cool? I know a lotta cool people!
bloodpressured: (that don't believe in me)

no worries!

[personal profile] bloodpressured 2016-10-29 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
Didn't I make it clear we're on probationary question period? Don't push it.
bloodpressured: (pounded in the butt by my own butt)

[personal profile] bloodpressured 2016-10-29 06:03 am (UTC)(link)
YOUR BARELY CONCEALED SKEPTICISM TOWARDS MY EMOTIONAL COUNSELING ABILITIES ARE FAIR BUT UNWARRANTED. IF THERE IS ANYTHING I HAVE DONE WAY TOO MUCH OF, IT'S EMOTIONALLY COUNSEL THE SHIT OUT OF PLENTY OF CHUMPS. MY FEATS OF EMOTIONALLY COUNSELING ARE BEYOND REPROACH.

NEXT QUESTION.
bloodpressured: (when i'm not around)

[personal profile] bloodpressured 2016-10-29 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
You can absolutely be counseled, but there's probably no hope for you, no. You seem to think you're some kind of smartass, but my professional diagnosis is annoying douchebag. It's incurable, but with time, you can learn to accept and live with your shortcomings.
bloodpressured: (and so it seemed to confess)

[personal profile] bloodpressured 2016-10-29 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
Well, fuck me. Here not two minutes and we've already run into someone too discerning about royal titles to put up with introductions. Wait, I know this one. You must be so proud, getting named Emperor of Snide Bedwedding Smugbabies. We'll try to stay out of your way.
bloodpressured: (that's more like it)

[personal profile] bloodpressured 2016-10-29 06:18 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, is it? Well, it just so happens, troll is the name of my species. You just insulted an entire species, I hope you feel good about yourself. Maybe you have a personality problem that makes you act so insensitive, did you ever think of that?

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